New Year's Miracle
The reason I decided to put up a new blog is twofold. First, Lona, my hardcore homey froim B-Town High School, said she missed my blogs. I always thought I was the only one reading them. If u read them and they’re funny, u should tell me, I like that. Second, a miracle happened today and I felt compelled to share it with the world.
For those who didn’t know I threw a New Year’s party last night. I didn’t invite a lot of people because I simply didn’t have time to, I really didn’t have time to prepare at all. All I did was clean my apartment, because ‘Lissa didn’t help at all (just kidding, princess) and I bought beer/smirnov; that was it. Between Friendship House and Suckbuster at this time of year, I had very little time on my hands. Plus buying an XBOX 360 also didn’t add any additional free time to the free time I already had which also equaled zero. But, the homies got word around and I also invited Betsy (way too frickin’ late, Bad Josh) and I was lucky enough to have a party with some real cool people.
We started about eight and found out we needed a copy of Jackass 2. Ed and Jen were the first to arrive and we left my home and the Willamette Mall to their hands for protection and zombie killing. (Dead Rising is the bomb, yo!!) Andrew and Beegirl got there just as we left. Went to Suckbuster, Justin said: “Hey Jackass, here’s your copy of Josh 2.” (or something like that). By the time we got back, Kim, Noel, and Heidi arrived. We had a bunch of people watching Jackass 2 in the living room, while Ed, Kim, Andrew and I played an ILL boardgame called Betrayal on House Hill. I was a mad professor (Props to Dr. Satan, yo.), Ed was like a football star, Kim was a little kid, and Andrew was…I forget. Essentially, you walk around exploring this house, playing upwards of 10,000 annoying cardboard tokens, until one of the other players betrays the other players in order to escape. Paul, Heather, and Jenn-ay also both arrived while we were playing. In the meantime, the Jackass crew (meaning the people in the other room, not that they’re jackasses) called me in for my favorite scene in Jackass, the horse scene. I won’t give it away, but the quote goes: “Oh yeah, that’s semen alright.” (Unbelievably disgusting.) I came back to the game just in time for Kim to wolf-out and rip out my throat with her teeth (hence the name “betrayal”, Kim was the lucky winner). While she was busy racking up the body count, I caught a few more scenes of Jackass 2.
Next, we watched season one of the Muppet Show. Classic shit. Unfortunately, as the party was loud, we had to watch it at full volume. And as much as I love the muppets, the frickin’ horns, the old guys’ laughing, and the laugh track all at full volume was annoying as hell. But, ya gotta love the Swedish Chef. Pigs in Space was phunny. I love Kermit and Scooter, Ms. Piggy’s hot. And, I’m not saying that anyone at this party was imbibing al-colic fluids, but we were screaming “Day-O” and “yo-do-lay-hee-hoo” at the top of our lungs at 11:30 at night with the muppets, something strange had to be going on. By the time John Denver came on, I was gonna hang myself because I had to hear him singing.
At 11:30, I asked the crowd if they wanted to watch the ball drop where I found I had been stricken with a sudden attack of invisibility. At 11:50, the same thing happened. Somebody turned off the TV at 11:56 and we did watch the ball drop. Yay. I got a kiss at midnight, a 210% nice upgrade from last year. We all toasted to the new year. We also toasted to Jenn-ay being there with us. This was a very special party this year; she was unable to come to my party last new year’s due to her car accident that occurred only a few days before it. But a year later, Jenn-ay not only came to the party but could’ve sprinted up and down the 18 steps to my apartment a hundred times. Damn good times. I’m very proud of you, Jenn-ay.
Apparently, at some point a group of young women felt a need to artistically express themselves with magnetic poetry on my refrigerator. I’m assuming they were women or very sexually repressed gay men. (Which either is fine…) As far as I know, all males present were heterosexually-oriented, so we’ll assume they were women. I’d post their finished product, but I know there are some minors on myspace, so you’ll have to come over if you want to read it.
We began a second showing of Jackass 2. Andrew started blowing something up, I wasn’t sure if it was a party favor or some kind of erotic toy at first. It ended up being a mattress that doubled as a life raft in case my apartment got flooded (on the second floor…). People started leaving at that point, I felt bad for Andrew and Beegirl because they couldn’t really sleep until the show was off, we ended our second showing before the end. I ended my evening with a few beers and some New Year’s matches of WWE’s Smackdown vs. Raw 2007 (how apropos…).
I didn’t wake up the next day next to Ed like I did last year (no, we weren’t in the same bed), which I was hoping would become an annual thing. Damn. Oh well, I’ll just have to settle for waking up next to a superhot girl instead.
Here’s the MIRACLE. I am now, at 7:30 pm the following night, finally getting over my hangover. I haven’t had a hangover in almost a year. I was proud of myself, I didn’t get stumbling drunk the entire night but I admit that I had a steady supply of eau de Coors Light for almost eight hours. No wonder I had such a headache. I felt like I had John Denver and a laugh track at full volume behind my forehead for the majority of the day. Good times.
I’m going to try to post this on myspace and LJ, but the latter will not be pretty.
There’s my new year’s miracle. Mad props to ‘Lissa, Ed, Jen, Andrew, Beegirl, Heidi, Noel, Kim, Heather, Paul, and Jenn-ay. I hope ya’ll had a good time because I was privileged to have so much fun with so many fucking cool people. No major spills on the carpet and I could find both remotes the next day (not like last year…). Awesome. Keep it real in the ’07!!!! See ya!!!!!!!!
Cheers,
Josh ;)
For those who didn’t know I threw a New Year’s party last night. I didn’t invite a lot of people because I simply didn’t have time to, I really didn’t have time to prepare at all. All I did was clean my apartment, because ‘Lissa didn’t help at all (just kidding, princess) and I bought beer/smirnov; that was it. Between Friendship House and Suckbuster at this time of year, I had very little time on my hands. Plus buying an XBOX 360 also didn’t add any additional free time to the free time I already had which also equaled zero. But, the homies got word around and I also invited Betsy (way too frickin’ late, Bad Josh) and I was lucky enough to have a party with some real cool people.
We started about eight and found out we needed a copy of Jackass 2. Ed and Jen were the first to arrive and we left my home and the Willamette Mall to their hands for protection and zombie killing. (Dead Rising is the bomb, yo!!) Andrew and Beegirl got there just as we left. Went to Suckbuster, Justin said: “Hey Jackass, here’s your copy of Josh 2.” (or something like that). By the time we got back, Kim, Noel, and Heidi arrived. We had a bunch of people watching Jackass 2 in the living room, while Ed, Kim, Andrew and I played an ILL boardgame called Betrayal on House Hill. I was a mad professor (Props to Dr. Satan, yo.), Ed was like a football star, Kim was a little kid, and Andrew was…I forget. Essentially, you walk around exploring this house, playing upwards of 10,000 annoying cardboard tokens, until one of the other players betrays the other players in order to escape. Paul, Heather, and Jenn-ay also both arrived while we were playing. In the meantime, the Jackass crew (meaning the people in the other room, not that they’re jackasses) called me in for my favorite scene in Jackass, the horse scene. I won’t give it away, but the quote goes: “Oh yeah, that’s semen alright.” (Unbelievably disgusting.) I came back to the game just in time for Kim to wolf-out and rip out my throat with her teeth (hence the name “betrayal”, Kim was the lucky winner). While she was busy racking up the body count, I caught a few more scenes of Jackass 2.
Next, we watched season one of the Muppet Show. Classic shit. Unfortunately, as the party was loud, we had to watch it at full volume. And as much as I love the muppets, the frickin’ horns, the old guys’ laughing, and the laugh track all at full volume was annoying as hell. But, ya gotta love the Swedish Chef. Pigs in Space was phunny. I love Kermit and Scooter, Ms. Piggy’s hot. And, I’m not saying that anyone at this party was imbibing al-colic fluids, but we were screaming “Day-O” and “yo-do-lay-hee-hoo” at the top of our lungs at 11:30 at night with the muppets, something strange had to be going on. By the time John Denver came on, I was gonna hang myself because I had to hear him singing.
At 11:30, I asked the crowd if they wanted to watch the ball drop where I found I had been stricken with a sudden attack of invisibility. At 11:50, the same thing happened. Somebody turned off the TV at 11:56 and we did watch the ball drop. Yay. I got a kiss at midnight, a 210% nice upgrade from last year. We all toasted to the new year. We also toasted to Jenn-ay being there with us. This was a very special party this year; she was unable to come to my party last new year’s due to her car accident that occurred only a few days before it. But a year later, Jenn-ay not only came to the party but could’ve sprinted up and down the 18 steps to my apartment a hundred times. Damn good times. I’m very proud of you, Jenn-ay.
Apparently, at some point a group of young women felt a need to artistically express themselves with magnetic poetry on my refrigerator. I’m assuming they were women or very sexually repressed gay men. (Which either is fine…) As far as I know, all males present were heterosexually-oriented, so we’ll assume they were women. I’d post their finished product, but I know there are some minors on myspace, so you’ll have to come over if you want to read it.
We began a second showing of Jackass 2. Andrew started blowing something up, I wasn’t sure if it was a party favor or some kind of erotic toy at first. It ended up being a mattress that doubled as a life raft in case my apartment got flooded (on the second floor…). People started leaving at that point, I felt bad for Andrew and Beegirl because they couldn’t really sleep until the show was off, we ended our second showing before the end. I ended my evening with a few beers and some New Year’s matches of WWE’s Smackdown vs. Raw 2007 (how apropos…).
I didn’t wake up the next day next to Ed like I did last year (no, we weren’t in the same bed), which I was hoping would become an annual thing. Damn. Oh well, I’ll just have to settle for waking up next to a superhot girl instead.
Here’s the MIRACLE. I am now, at 7:30 pm the following night, finally getting over my hangover. I haven’t had a hangover in almost a year. I was proud of myself, I didn’t get stumbling drunk the entire night but I admit that I had a steady supply of eau de Coors Light for almost eight hours. No wonder I had such a headache. I felt like I had John Denver and a laugh track at full volume behind my forehead for the majority of the day. Good times.
I’m going to try to post this on myspace and LJ, but the latter will not be pretty.
There’s my new year’s miracle. Mad props to ‘Lissa, Ed, Jen, Andrew, Beegirl, Heidi, Noel, Kim, Heather, Paul, and Jenn-ay. I hope ya’ll had a good time because I was privileged to have so much fun with so many fucking cool people. No major spills on the carpet and I could find both remotes the next day (not like last year…). Awesome. Keep it real in the ’07!!!! See ya!!!!!!!!
Cheers,
Josh ;)