hi
i think im going crazy. i dont understand anything. i just wish i knew the real reasons why. i wish i could get in peoples head. find out what there real plans are, and how they really feel and why. all im trying to do is be a good person. and in return i get shit on sometimes. i feel a strange distance sometimes. it often causes saddness. i cant say a word without something to top my words coming right back at me. i feel very unknown. and very little effort by othere people to know me. all i do is give and get nothing back. why? why do i do this? what am i getting from all this? what am i getting from anything i do? everyday i feel i am flatlining. not climbing up that latter of life. if anything i go down. i put my feelings out there. i got my hopes up high i guess. i hope that im not setting myself up for a huge disapointment. i want that time in my life to be over. i want everyone to stop stepping out of my life for no reason. its a terrible feeling for the ones you love the most in the world. to stop talking to you. and almost forget u ever where. and its really hard because i get no support or encouragement to keep going. to keep trying. i feel that i have no one i can talk to. whatever im done writting in this thing. talk to u later.