never before, and probably never again
sitting here at my computer, passing time during a thunderstorm, i chanced a glance out my window. there, spread in a majestic arc from horizon to horizon, were not one, but two perfectly defined twin rainbows. awestruck, i did nothing but stare, taking in the beauty of a natural occurance that i've never had the ecstasy of seeing before in my 21+ years in this world.
my dreams have been vivid of late, and surprizingly relevant. not that dreams are ever completely irrelevant, i guess what i'm trying to say is that they have been easy to figure out. i dreamt that slom and i were finally collecting materials to begin work on our secret party spot that we've been talking about for a year and just haven't done it yet. in the dream, we got caught taking boards from this construction sight on campus, but we ended up getting away. other drams of late have had the same kind of theme to them, where i am doing something that i've wanted to do for a long time, but it never goes exactly the way i've imagined, although the mishaps are a little extreme at times. that's dreams for you though.
i know that the reason for these dreams is that i have a lot of ambitions that i have done nothing to make realities, and it is seriously weighing on my mind. i apologize to my friends if i have seemed a bit off or moody of late, trying to break bad habits and get life going makes me a little crazy. i can't say when i'll settle back down, because honestly, i don't know...the worse it is now may in fact lead to a faster resolution, and i'm willing to accept being out of sorts for the time being if it will indeed lead to a good end, which i am confident it will. so please, i beg your patience, my friends, it will make this transition much easier for me to know that people are behind me, and that they understand where i'm coming from.
life goes on, even as i type this. feelings are dulled by thought, and actions are slow and unmodivated. acting on instincts, on the vive of the moment is a necessary part of life, overthinking only leads to underdoing. take action, life is waiting for us, out there all the time, all that is needed is a decision. no doubts, no pros and cons, just a decsion and the modivation to stick to that decision no matter how difficult that may be. updated state of mind=unsatisfied with the state of being i have been masking my mind with for far too long. updated state of action=entry now completed, following my feelings.
my dreams have been vivid of late, and surprizingly relevant. not that dreams are ever completely irrelevant, i guess what i'm trying to say is that they have been easy to figure out. i dreamt that slom and i were finally collecting materials to begin work on our secret party spot that we've been talking about for a year and just haven't done it yet. in the dream, we got caught taking boards from this construction sight on campus, but we ended up getting away. other drams of late have had the same kind of theme to them, where i am doing something that i've wanted to do for a long time, but it never goes exactly the way i've imagined, although the mishaps are a little extreme at times. that's dreams for you though.
i know that the reason for these dreams is that i have a lot of ambitions that i have done nothing to make realities, and it is seriously weighing on my mind. i apologize to my friends if i have seemed a bit off or moody of late, trying to break bad habits and get life going makes me a little crazy. i can't say when i'll settle back down, because honestly, i don't know...the worse it is now may in fact lead to a faster resolution, and i'm willing to accept being out of sorts for the time being if it will indeed lead to a good end, which i am confident it will. so please, i beg your patience, my friends, it will make this transition much easier for me to know that people are behind me, and that they understand where i'm coming from.
life goes on, even as i type this. feelings are dulled by thought, and actions are slow and unmodivated. acting on instincts, on the vive of the moment is a necessary part of life, overthinking only leads to underdoing. take action, life is waiting for us, out there all the time, all that is needed is a decision. no doubts, no pros and cons, just a decsion and the modivation to stick to that decision no matter how difficult that may be. updated state of mind=unsatisfied with the state of being i have been masking my mind with for far too long. updated state of action=entry now completed, following my feelings.