hey, heres a pile of crap!
ive noticed these past few weeks how crapy it is right before your life starts up. your too young to know everything so some things are new and catch me off guard, im not ready for the next two years at all and i think im at my emotional max right now and if anything more happens im just going to break down. and now my mum took it upon herself to enroll me into normandale college an now on a deadline to finish high school wich must be done before next fall. plus now i have to go and make sure im getting at least 40 hours at work until fall so that i can get my car pretty well payed off and still have alittle money for when im in college because i will have to work less. im going to have to quit only getting 6.50 at papamurpheys because they cant give me 40 hours. not that i really would want to anyway because that place tottaly is emotionally draining, i think its gunna put me over the top and ill just leave reality for a few years.
and my mom pushing me to get babtized lately is becoming increasingly discomforting, you DONT push anyone to get babtized. im the one who will know when im ready, im still only a kid and i still make mistakes. i try hard not to and im working on it but im deffintiley not ready. she doesnt seem to listen to when i tell her this she just stops talking until the next chance she gets to get me in a group of people in the hall and ask me when im getting babtized. i feel bad about that too because thats really the only time we talk, and id rather us be closer but i cant stand to be around her. im sure it all comes with the imaturity. though im beggining to doubt it. i just need to take break from her, she needs to leave for a few months i think. id be glad to leave if that were at all possible but its not.
i guess im not that much closer to my dad, the only thing different between me and him in comparison to my mom is he doesnt start yelling at me when i tell him about the mistakes i make, wich has also become increasingly hard to do. admitting your wrong is hard enough, i really dont want to get torn to shreds when i do.
i think itll come together soon. and everything will make more sense to me.
and my mom pushing me to get babtized lately is becoming increasingly discomforting, you DONT push anyone to get babtized. im the one who will know when im ready, im still only a kid and i still make mistakes. i try hard not to and im working on it but im deffintiley not ready. she doesnt seem to listen to when i tell her this she just stops talking until the next chance she gets to get me in a group of people in the hall and ask me when im getting babtized. i feel bad about that too because thats really the only time we talk, and id rather us be closer but i cant stand to be around her. im sure it all comes with the imaturity. though im beggining to doubt it. i just need to take break from her, she needs to leave for a few months i think. id be glad to leave if that were at all possible but its not.
i guess im not that much closer to my dad, the only thing different between me and him in comparison to my mom is he doesnt start yelling at me when i tell him about the mistakes i make, wich has also become increasingly hard to do. admitting your wrong is hard enough, i really dont want to get torn to shreds when i do.
i think itll come together soon. and everything will make more sense to me.