I Do Too

[joreth]

There are 3 totally separate events that prompt this journal entry:

1) Minx made a comment in Poly Weekly, episode 264, "Wait, We're Monogamous?" where she addressed some drunk redneck who hit on her. The redneck, upon discovering that Minx had multiple partners, made some comment about how HE ultimately wanted someone to commit to, to count on, to

Comments

*Headdesk*

[emanix]

This attitude always boggles me. To my mind there is nothing more impermanent and throwaway than serial monogamy - What? The partner you have isn't *perfect* for you? Then clearly the answer is to throw away the relationship you have and start building a new one from scratch with someone you barely know! Yet apparently this is the only route to a committed lifelong relationship? I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

To me, polyamory means a relationship doesn't have to be 'perfect' to be a good thing for me. A single partner does not have to fulfil my every need to add to the overall level of good in my life, or vice versa - and my gosh that takes pressure off.
Poly means building a network of strong connections over a period of years, without having to abandon the people I already know and love.
Poly means a breakup doesn't necessarily spell the end of a relationship, but a change in structure. I play the 'long game' and consider relationships to be something built over years, not weeks - and this is *why* I'm poly, not an argument against it.
I'm poly because I can't understand suddenly deciding to stop loving one person and start loving 'the next'.
Poly means I get to meet more amazing people through my lovers than I would on my own, because awesome people attract more awesome people.
Polyamory, to me, means family, and it means community - something far more stable than any single relationship.
... and apparently all this means I'm not thinking about the long term?

People are bizarre.

Oh, and congratulations on the FLAN permanence talks. You're all amazing people, and I can't wait to visit! :)