questions
i am notoriously confused when it comes to relationships that go awry. if it's not enjoyable anymore, should you just peace? or should you try to stick around and see if it gets enjoyable again? or should you stick around anyway on the basis that you're 'friends'?
it seems to me that effort doesn't often fix friendships, and putting effort into a friendship that's already going south generally just makes more problems than it solves for me. but is it valid to give up?
part of me wants to say, "no are you kidding?" but i'm really starting to think that it's healthy to give up sometimes...or perhaps more that it's unhealthy not to. i feel like i've spent this whole semester on this fence, and it's only made me miserable ... and taking the approach of putting effort in and sticking around makes me even more miserable. and i know i've been sticking around because i don't want to do something that wouldn't be in line with my faith in applying it to the situation, but i really feel like at this point "above all else, guard your heart" is the verse i need to be keeping in mind.
i guess i feel like it shouldn't be a party foul to quit spending time with people you don't enjoy spending time with, that moving on and growing in different directions is just a part of life and i'm generally much happier when i *don't* try to hold on to friendships in that situation.
here's where i got messed up... in this group of people, loyalty is like the numero uno important thing. and so it's like by not hanging out with them all the time or skipping the meals that they always do together (if you don't have a valid reason that you can't go), you're automatically being a bad friend...so there's no way to get any distance without, in theory, hurting them. but i need distance, i need to get out. being with them makes me so upset all the time. so i guess i'm just going to have to bite the bullet and hurt them...?
that sucks. but i can't live with being miserable for the rest of my collegiate life just because i'm worried about hurting them. i gotta peace.
it seems to me that effort doesn't often fix friendships, and putting effort into a friendship that's already going south generally just makes more problems than it solves for me. but is it valid to give up?
part of me wants to say, "no are you kidding?" but i'm really starting to think that it's healthy to give up sometimes...or perhaps more that it's unhealthy not to. i feel like i've spent this whole semester on this fence, and it's only made me miserable ... and taking the approach of putting effort in and sticking around makes me even more miserable. and i know i've been sticking around because i don't want to do something that wouldn't be in line with my faith in applying it to the situation, but i really feel like at this point "above all else, guard your heart" is the verse i need to be keeping in mind.
i guess i feel like it shouldn't be a party foul to quit spending time with people you don't enjoy spending time with, that moving on and growing in different directions is just a part of life and i'm generally much happier when i *don't* try to hold on to friendships in that situation.
here's where i got messed up... in this group of people, loyalty is like the numero uno important thing. and so it's like by not hanging out with them all the time or skipping the meals that they always do together (if you don't have a valid reason that you can't go), you're automatically being a bad friend...so there's no way to get any distance without, in theory, hurting them. but i need distance, i need to get out. being with them makes me so upset all the time. so i guess i'm just going to have to bite the bullet and hurt them...?
that sucks. but i can't live with being miserable for the rest of my collegiate life just because i'm worried about hurting them. i gotta peace.