Nice or Sucker?
I was chatting with Lisa about doing nice things and she expressed some incredulity that I would find people being nice a good thing. Sure, she was joking, but the example she used is one in which I find we really differ. I make a distinction between being nice, or doing nice things and being a sucker.
The example is this:
When it comes time to close down the library, and I am in charge, I close up and kick people out exactly when the library closes. I'm not rude about it, I firmly tell them I'm locking the doors and turning out the lights and that they need to leave. When I am not in charge, I am able to just leave at closing but the director often stays open anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour after close to accommodate stragglers.
Lisa posits that what the Director is doing is being nice. I protest that what she is doing is not being nice, it is being taken advantage of. The idea that my time is less valuable than that of the person I have informed of imminent close 30 minutes, 15 minutes and 5 minutes prior to the event is not one that I will tolerate.
Granted, I have worked in retail and have been exposed to people who will squeeze every drop that is possible to get from you. I have also seen people being taken advantage of and it irks me. However, I do consider myself a nice person. I am polite, I return shopping carts, I hold doors and I spontaneously express affection for those I care about. What I don't want to be is a sucker.
Where do you stand? Why? I am pretty adamant about my definitions, but I'd like to hear what you think either way. Are my assumptions wrong? Am I being reactionary? Or am I right?
The example is this:
When it comes time to close down the library, and I am in charge, I close up and kick people out exactly when the library closes. I'm not rude about it, I firmly tell them I'm locking the doors and turning out the lights and that they need to leave. When I am not in charge, I am able to just leave at closing but the director often stays open anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour after close to accommodate stragglers.
Lisa posits that what the Director is doing is being nice. I protest that what she is doing is not being nice, it is being taken advantage of. The idea that my time is less valuable than that of the person I have informed of imminent close 30 minutes, 15 minutes and 5 minutes prior to the event is not one that I will tolerate.
Granted, I have worked in retail and have been exposed to people who will squeeze every drop that is possible to get from you. I have also seen people being taken advantage of and it irks me. However, I do consider myself a nice person. I am polite, I return shopping carts, I hold doors and I spontaneously express affection for those I care about. What I don't want to be is a sucker.
Where do you stand? Why? I am pretty adamant about my definitions, but I'd like to hear what you think either way. Are my assumptions wrong? Am I being reactionary? Or am I right?