Sadly, there's not an ounce of truth to that subject line. Well, he does drive me mad but only because he won't let me put on a policeman's outfit and re-enact the public bathroom handjob proposition scene. It's funny, after years of toiling in the wreckage of my somewhat dismal career, now that I'm working on something that's generating a pretty substantial "buzz", I've lost any and all will to actually talk about it. I'm cynical and shy but I won't lie, I actually fear success. That and I've been trapped in the K-Tel Centre for Sober Living since New Years. I do apologise for my mug being on your televisions every other minute in those Eli Stone promos but if anything good came out of the Writer's Strike it's this programme actually getting the green light. I promise on my love of day trips to Tijuana it's worth watching, even if you just leave the telly on after Lost as background noise. The Late Great Amanda Latona used to say that I was perpetually on acid and this show does nothing to dispel that myth, but it's handled very whimsically. Yes, I just said whimsically. You know television is in dire straits when the most exciting thing on is reruns of America's Funniest Home Videos from 1990 but I'm here to rectify that, hopefully. Leighanne and I are having a premiere party so if you're in LA at the moment, come on down to Casa Leigh Miller and don't look at us funny when we ask you to put your keys in a bowl (or demand that you to take your clothes off before diving into the cheese platters). Jesus has kindly volunteered to be the designated driver for the evening so no worries about transportation if you've had a few too many.
Out of the kindness of my heart, I'm bolding this for those with a shorter attention span than my own (poor unfortunate souls) -
Please watch Eli Stone tonight at 10 PM/9 Central on ABC after Lost.I'll bike over and personally thank you if you do.
/End Plug
If George Michael had said no to the producers, they were going to ask Phil Collins to be on the show. True story. God bless Phil but my dance routine to Sussudio is crap so it's definitely a good thing Mr Careless Whisper signed the contract. Anyway, I'll Be Back Later. I'm off to Norway to train for a marathon in the South Pole. Also a true story. Take care, ye olde wankers. Oh, one more thing.
An early Valentine's Day gift for everyone. All three tins, from me to you. Enjoy.