CURSED
Years ago a therapist called it magical thinking.
"You feel as though you're cursed because it's a way of preserving your identity ... of keeping you special. Other people have problems, but you are cursed by the fates."
Maybe so.
But it's the little things that get to me. And they seem to occur most often when I'm trying to improve things -- as if trying to make things better is like putting out honey for frustration.
This morning I bought one of those electric outlet adapters at the hardware store ... that thing that you plug into the wall so that it turns two outlets into six. Simple, right? Except that the one outlet I need this adapter for in my new house is the only outlet in the world that the adapter won't plug into. If fits every single other outlet in the house, just not this one, which is somehow 1/10 of an inch larger than all the others.
In the afternoon I took a drive over to look at a couch for our new place. I went to great pains to set up the appointment and find a sitter for the baby. It should have taken about 20 minutes. But they closed two lanes of freeway right near my house, so that it took a half hour to go two miles. Traffic jams are nothing new here. But on my way back they switched the road work so that now two lanes were closed in the opposite direction. I spent two hours driving, and five minutes looking at the furniture.
When I got home I moved around some furniture in the living room to test the layout for the new couch. It was then I discovered that the movers scratched the hell out of one of my most beloved family pieces: an old chair that my mother had refinished just for me, because I'd loved it as a kid. It's the worst damage that occurred to anything during the move. Just. that. piece.
This evening my dishwasher overflowed when some component broke off and jammed the filter. Screw me for trying to do the dishes.
Last Saturday I discovered an emerging termite swarm on my back porch. That night I played what is likely my last show with the Tarots. I've been playing in bands since I was 18, and always dreamed of going on a European tour. Now the band is actually going on a European tour, but I can't--at least not without disrupting my family more than I can bear.
My back hurts all the time.
"You feel as though you're cursed because it's a way of preserving your identity ... of keeping you special. Other people have problems, but you are cursed by the fates."
Maybe so.
But it's the little things that get to me. And they seem to occur most often when I'm trying to improve things -- as if trying to make things better is like putting out honey for frustration.
This morning I bought one of those electric outlet adapters at the hardware store ... that thing that you plug into the wall so that it turns two outlets into six. Simple, right? Except that the one outlet I need this adapter for in my new house is the only outlet in the world that the adapter won't plug into. If fits every single other outlet in the house, just not this one, which is somehow 1/10 of an inch larger than all the others.
In the afternoon I took a drive over to look at a couch for our new place. I went to great pains to set up the appointment and find a sitter for the baby. It should have taken about 20 minutes. But they closed two lanes of freeway right near my house, so that it took a half hour to go two miles. Traffic jams are nothing new here. But on my way back they switched the road work so that now two lanes were closed in the opposite direction. I spent two hours driving, and five minutes looking at the furniture.
When I got home I moved around some furniture in the living room to test the layout for the new couch. It was then I discovered that the movers scratched the hell out of one of my most beloved family pieces: an old chair that my mother had refinished just for me, because I'd loved it as a kid. It's the worst damage that occurred to anything during the move. Just. that. piece.
This evening my dishwasher overflowed when some component broke off and jammed the filter. Screw me for trying to do the dishes.
Last Saturday I discovered an emerging termite swarm on my back porch. That night I played what is likely my last show with the Tarots. I've been playing in bands since I was 18, and always dreamed of going on a European tour. Now the band is actually going on a European tour, but I can't--at least not without disrupting my family more than I can bear.
My back hurts all the time.