(no subject)
I've been going thru a depression a long time now. I don't see a future without it. My house is crappy. The toilet leaks, the ceiling leaks, the carpet is crappy. THere's a hole in the ceiling with probably mold. I have no money or inclination to change it. The man who should be the love of my life ignores me. He goes wherever he wants whenever he wants and doesn't invite me just lets me know after the fact and not even then sometimes what he does. My kids are always gone or in their own world. SOmeone is always leaving in my car so I am stuck home. If I do have it it doesn't matter because where whould I go. I have no friends. My bff talks of her husband and makes me so jealous and I can't feel as if I can complain because she has diabetes with a lot of complications so i feel guilty to talk of my problems. The only relief is work and pfff that is the lowlest of the low positions which i work with school age kids not like its important or anything. I dont know what to do.