Sex, Toys, and Jonny
Right. Back to the sexin'.
I've had some time to think about it and I've thought of most things you can do with these, including a few you probably didn't want to know about. Or maybe you did and were afraid to ask/picture me doing. Just be thankful that you're getting this little chat from me, and not from your folks; now thatwould be something to shake a whip at.
2 lengths of 4 foot tether with adjustable straps, sliding releases
Good use: Playfully restraining your partner as you explore both of your naughty sides.
Alternate uses: Dog leash, packing strap for when you move out of the house using a truck, rappelling down from a ceiling as you try to steal secret documents.
Kink factor: Fairly kinky. Not something you wanna bust out on the first date; wait until maybe you've been sleeping together for a month.
I tied myself to my bed for a whole night to see how comfortable they'd be, and when I woke up I'd actually slipped out of them without noticing. Of course, there wasn't much tension on them, but they left no visible marks and seem cozy enough for a playful night.
1 pair of pink, fuzzy handcuffs
Good use: A bit naughtier than the tethers for when you want to be even more submissive. Put the two together for even more fun!
Alternate uses: 'Officer Feelgood' halloween/fantasy sex outfit accessory, showing off both of your nice and naughty sides.
Kink factor: Moderate - highly kinky. You'd have to be completely comfortable with your partner before you ratchet these guys.
I've got fairly large wrists (not all from masturbation!) so I can only get two clicks on them before they start hurting, but those with smaller wrists can probably afford something a little tighter before the pink cotton gets nicely compacted. The good thing about these is that there is a safety latch on them in case you lose your keys, or you want to completely forget about the safe word and dig your fingernails into your partner's back.
Black satin bag, which holds this entire collection
Good use: Holding your sexual arsenal discreetly, like a ninja.
Alternate uses: Telling girls that your cock just barely fits in the bag, could double as a blind fold with some modifications.
Kink factor: Not at all kinky, unless used as a blindfold, where it becomes of average kinkiness.
More than likely I'll just sew some silk onto the ends to give it the length for blindfolded sex! If you've never tried it, it's pretty amazing for foreplay, and when you finally rip the blindfold off in the middle of a sweaty session and make eye contact with your partner, everything just gets blown out of this world.
Awesome smelling, gender friendly perfume
Good use: Having the confidence to make that first move.
Alternate uses: Convincing your partner that you don't smell that bad, candle oil.
Kink factor: Not at all kinky. It just opens the door.
I picked up a bottle of 'Pure Instinct' after having a sample swab dabbed on my wrist at the beginning of the night, with the representative's reassurance that it would change with time. Sure enough, I kept on smelling my wrist and eventually wanted to make out with the nearest hot stranger. It never happened though, but after debuting the fragrance, the response was on the up-and-up.
'Jon, what is that? It's really subtle, but I like it.'
'Jon, it smells like sex. How much was it?'
'I'm not smelling your wrist, you fre - hey...I'm gonna call my boyfriend now.'
Sheer panties with hidden compartment, for one form fitting vibrator
Good use: For femmes who want a little excitement at work, and guys who want to not have to put effort into foreplay. Also for femmes with inconsiderate roomies who have radical sex through a paper thin wall.
Alternate use: Making your friend believe their cell phone is vibrating, beating eggs, frothing milk (I haven't tried them yet, and I'm afraid to.)
Kink factor: Pretty kinky. You'd have to have ovaries of steel to use this as intended, 'for discreet, public stimulation.'
I can't use this myself, and I'm not interested in turning it around to see what it'd feel like, but many of my chick friends tell me that it actually does work. It's not as discreet as it makes out to be and does emit a low-volume hum, similar to a cell phone on vibrate, so you'd need some bangin' tunes to mask the noise of the device. You'd also need to be a normal sized woman; there is no way this thing is fitting on a skinny girl!
So the next time there's a sex show in your town, check it out! You'll probably be pleasantly surprised at what you can find.