No Matter Where You Get To, You Can Still Sit On A Couch
So I just fell asleep again for a bit before I do the delivery run at work (of course I offer to work over vacation, 'cause I apparently hate myself). The dream I had was: I went to a basement show in Dover, and Bomb the Music Industry! was playing. I was sitting in a big squishy chair watching them, and then blending the end of one of their songs into a Beatles cover. I knew the words, and Jeff (lead singer) knelt down in front of me (Kevin was a couple chairs away from me) and we sang a bit to each other. Nothing too crazy. But then I fell asleep (yes, I even sleep in my dreams, haha) or so I thought.
Apparently I blacked out. (this is all still just in my dream)
So I wake up mumbling in the passenger seat of the delivery car, and Donna (my supervisor) was driving me around. I start freaking out, until we show up where we were headed. I ask Donna why she was in NH, 'cause she's supposed to be gone on vacation in MA. I get scolded for blacking out, and she's all mad at me. Then I sneak through a sports equipment store to find a case from work I have to deliver somewhere else. Then Donna disappears and I'm in downtown Nashua, and I see Kevin and our friend Tom. He starts shrieking and runs over to hug me.
I have no idea what's going on, so I go sit with them inside a pizza shop and they explain the whole thing. I guess I had blacked out and fell to the floor while a circle pit was going and I almost got trampled. Kevin had to haul me out of there like a quarterback and I guess he had been crying and everything. And he said Elyssa's boyfriend Ben had also been there to help carry me.
Then the weirdest bit: I saw myself walking on the other side of the street, with Ben, and I was covered in cuts and bruises (the actual me looked unscathed) and was all shaky and pale, carrying a water bottle. Kevin sees me run out to the sidewalk, as the other me crosses the street to go into the pizza place with Ben and Tom. But other me doesn't see me, somehow. Kevin comes over to actual me and starts asking me why I keep doing this to him, and I start bawling and hug him and apologize and say I can't help getting sick like I do, and I don't know what it is, until I can't even make audible noises. Then Kevin sits me down and walks away.
And then I woke up. Crying.
O_O
In real life, I am kinda sleepy but I don't feel sick and don't feel even remotely afraid of passing out. I do feel like a bad girlfriend sometimes, 'cause I get sick a lot and I can't pitch in as much as I'd like to, and he always ends up catering to me. I feel like such a dick. And I get grumpy when I start thinking like that, which of course he asks me about 'cause I'm never grumpy, and then I turn into a crying mess and he feels bad. Just me being super insecure about myself. I just gotta stop being so worried about everything all the time. There's not actually anything to worry about with us, I just keep getting "It's just too good to be true" thought into my head, and think of how I'm going to fuck everything up. Which is stupid, haha.
Also, vacation's goin' well so far. Moved Martin's mom on Saturday (which unfortunately made Kevin really sick 'cause of all the dust and shit in that house, he's not a happy camper right now). Sunday we bummed around until our friend Esraa showed up for a movie night! She's the one that brought me to Kevin's that first movie night, so it's kinda all her fault that we started dating, haha. It was good seeing her, since she's been in Egypt for 6 months. Then we went to the Airport Diner and met up with lots of awesome friends we don't get to see often. =]
Yesterday I finished 3 projects, and almost finished a fourth! #4 is a pillow from a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. It's already sewn and cut into shape, I just gotta wash it so it smells wonderful and then stuff the shit out of it. =D
Today and Thursday I gotta do deliveries, but that'll only take a few hours. Lunch with my mom this afternoon should be nice, I never see her. Then there's a show tonight in Dover, and another tomorrow in Allston. Off with their Heads is playing, and I haven't seen them in aaaaagggggeeeeessss. Actually, fun fact: I met Esraa the last time I saw them, as well as became friends with Tyler (of Tyler and Allison, who me and Kevin are pretty much double dating all the time, haha). Anyways, also tomorrow I'm going to see Tristan (who I haven't seen much this year, =[) play a free show outside J Dubs Coffee. With Elyssa, Jess, AND Sarah, and maybe Kato?! Which'll be the best thing ever to happen ever. =D
Packing and stuff after work Thursday probably, and then Kevin and I are going to Cape Cod from Friday 'til Sunday!!! I can't wait, I've never been on a real getaway weekend like this. Sarah and I stayed in NYC once for my birthday, which was awesome, but also mostly for a show, haha. This'll be two nights, at a nice hotel, with my wonderful boyfriend, and I get to visit at least Craig since all the other Cape Kids are busy. I can't wait! =]
Anyways, I really gotta get to work so I'm not stuck there all day. Blech.
Apparently I blacked out. (this is all still just in my dream)
So I wake up mumbling in the passenger seat of the delivery car, and Donna (my supervisor) was driving me around. I start freaking out, until we show up where we were headed. I ask Donna why she was in NH, 'cause she's supposed to be gone on vacation in MA. I get scolded for blacking out, and she's all mad at me. Then I sneak through a sports equipment store to find a case from work I have to deliver somewhere else. Then Donna disappears and I'm in downtown Nashua, and I see Kevin and our friend Tom. He starts shrieking and runs over to hug me.
I have no idea what's going on, so I go sit with them inside a pizza shop and they explain the whole thing. I guess I had blacked out and fell to the floor while a circle pit was going and I almost got trampled. Kevin had to haul me out of there like a quarterback and I guess he had been crying and everything. And he said Elyssa's boyfriend Ben had also been there to help carry me.
Then the weirdest bit: I saw myself walking on the other side of the street, with Ben, and I was covered in cuts and bruises (the actual me looked unscathed) and was all shaky and pale, carrying a water bottle. Kevin sees me run out to the sidewalk, as the other me crosses the street to go into the pizza place with Ben and Tom. But other me doesn't see me, somehow. Kevin comes over to actual me and starts asking me why I keep doing this to him, and I start bawling and hug him and apologize and say I can't help getting sick like I do, and I don't know what it is, until I can't even make audible noises. Then Kevin sits me down and walks away.
And then I woke up. Crying.
O_O
In real life, I am kinda sleepy but I don't feel sick and don't feel even remotely afraid of passing out. I do feel like a bad girlfriend sometimes, 'cause I get sick a lot and I can't pitch in as much as I'd like to, and he always ends up catering to me. I feel like such a dick. And I get grumpy when I start thinking like that, which of course he asks me about 'cause I'm never grumpy, and then I turn into a crying mess and he feels bad. Just me being super insecure about myself. I just gotta stop being so worried about everything all the time. There's not actually anything to worry about with us, I just keep getting "It's just too good to be true" thought into my head, and think of how I'm going to fuck everything up. Which is stupid, haha.
Also, vacation's goin' well so far. Moved Martin's mom on Saturday (which unfortunately made Kevin really sick 'cause of all the dust and shit in that house, he's not a happy camper right now). Sunday we bummed around until our friend Esraa showed up for a movie night! She's the one that brought me to Kevin's that first movie night, so it's kinda all her fault that we started dating, haha. It was good seeing her, since she's been in Egypt for 6 months. Then we went to the Airport Diner and met up with lots of awesome friends we don't get to see often. =]
Yesterday I finished 3 projects, and almost finished a fourth! #4 is a pillow from a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. It's already sewn and cut into shape, I just gotta wash it so it smells wonderful and then stuff the shit out of it. =D
Today and Thursday I gotta do deliveries, but that'll only take a few hours. Lunch with my mom this afternoon should be nice, I never see her. Then there's a show tonight in Dover, and another tomorrow in Allston. Off with their Heads is playing, and I haven't seen them in aaaaagggggeeeeessss. Actually, fun fact: I met Esraa the last time I saw them, as well as became friends with Tyler (of Tyler and Allison, who me and Kevin are pretty much double dating all the time, haha). Anyways, also tomorrow I'm going to see Tristan (who I haven't seen much this year, =[) play a free show outside J Dubs Coffee. With Elyssa, Jess, AND Sarah, and maybe Kato?! Which'll be the best thing ever to happen ever. =D
Packing and stuff after work Thursday probably, and then Kevin and I are going to Cape Cod from Friday 'til Sunday!!! I can't wait, I've never been on a real getaway weekend like this. Sarah and I stayed in NYC once for my birthday, which was awesome, but also mostly for a show, haha. This'll be two nights, at a nice hotel, with my wonderful boyfriend, and I get to visit at least Craig since all the other Cape Kids are busy. I can't wait! =]
Anyways, I really gotta get to work so I'm not stuck there all day. Blech.