More Onion horoscopes of DOOM
"Taurus April 20 - May 20
Years of treating your body like a temple will backfire this Thursday when savage hordes of Turkish soldiers ruthlessly plunder its depths."
I was planning to go to Macedonia in February, but now I'm not so sure. What if hordes of Ottoman soldiers are lying in wait?
Years of treating your body like a temple will backfire this Thursday when savage hordes of Turkish soldiers ruthlessly plunder its depths."
I was planning to go to Macedonia in February, but now I'm not so sure. What if hordes of Ottoman soldiers are lying in wait?