Trustworthy *chapter sixteen* COMPLETED
Pairing: HimDae
Rated: PG13
Length: 4.4K
Their lives quickly morphed into a routine, one that Daehyun stuck rigidly too every day. Deviating from the routine meant thinking for to long about things that he didn't want to mess with.
As soon as he woke up he ate whatever Himchan fixed him for breakfast. He always had something ready for him even if he worked late the night before. They would get dressed and head over to the hospital to meet with Jongup who normally was already there the second visiting hours started. Then he and Himchan would leave in the afternoon so that the older boy could go to work for a few hours that night. Jongup always stayed until he was kicked out and only came home long enough to eat, shower and crash for the least amount of hours he could get away with before jumping up and running out the door the next morning.
Every day they inspected Yongguk from head to toe and compared his bruises and swelling to yesterdays. After a couple of weeks he was looking almost back to normal with just the bandaged up broken bones marring his body.
Every few days they pulled him out of the coma just long enough to ask him a few basic questions: what is your name, how old are you, what year is it. The doctor refused to let anyone in during those few minutes and it was driving them all crazy not being able to talk to him.
Three weeks had passed with no indication that Yongguk was getting better or worse, it was always just the same. Rae-Ha tried to come up at least twice a week with Junhong but for the most part Mi-Ra took charge of his care and she refused to tell them anything. "Just let him rest and recover. That's what Yongguk needs the most right now."
And then finally, the day they had been hoping for finally happened.
“They think Yongguk can be woken up today. For good.” Jongup took a deep breath and tried hard to calm his racing heartbeat down. “We’re going to get to talk to Yongguk today, oh crap. What if he’s not the same, Daehyun? What if he doesn’t even know who we are?”
Daehyun pulled him into his arms and squeezed his waist gently. The smaller boy felt like he had lost a good chunk of his weight and Daehyun didn’t want to hurt him. “If he doesn’t know who we are then we’ll just have to remind him. He found you and fell in love twice, Jongup. I’m sure a third time would come easy to him.”
“I’m just scared.” Jongup wiped angrily at his wet eyes. “The doctor said they won’t know the full extent of his brain damage until he’s awake. What if he’s not Yongguk anymore?”
That was a valid concern, but Daehyun didn’t want to agree. Yongguk’s doctor told them that he had seen brain damage patients go either away in his years of medicine. Some people bounced back with little or no effects. But some never recovered and had to spend the rest of their lives in the care of others. Daehyun knew his mother would watch over him with no hesitation, but he hoped it would never come to that point.
“When are they going to do it?”
Jongup shrugged. “They want to wait until my mom or yours can be here.” He frowned. “Said that I might get “too emotional” and have to be taken out of the room. Like they could force me.” He muttered under his breath.
Daehyun didn’t have the heart to tell him it wouldn’t be that hard. With the large amount of weight he’d dropped in the last three weeks it wouldn’t take much to overpower him.
“Why don’t you try and take a nap?” He suggested pulling a book out of his backpack. “I’ll stay up with him so you can rest until everyone else is here.”
With a grateful nod Jongup spread out on the couch next to him and laid his head in Daehyun’s lap. “Thanks Dae.” He yawned and buried his face in his best friend’s belly. “Wake me up when the doctor comes in.”
A few hours later Rae-Ha and Junhong skipped through the door, the excitement bright on their faces. “Daehyun-hyung!” Zelo bounced on his feet and clapped happily. “Did you hear? They’re going to wake him up today! And we get to be in the room!”
He grinned as he put his book away, pleased to hear his little brother speaking full sentences. “I know Zelo, that’s great news.” He motioned towards the motionless lump in his lap. “I told Jongup to get some rest before they did it so he wasn’t a zombie all night.”
Rae-Ha clicked her tongue and patted Jongup’s greasy unwashed hair. “He’s been so good to Yongguk. They must really love each other.” She looked around in confusion. “Speaking of, where is Himchan? I thought you didn’t come to the hospital unless he was with you.”
Blushing, Daehyun averted his eyes to the floor. “He had to go to work for a little bit since he’s missed so much this month. He promised he’d be here when he got off. We didn’t find out they were going to wake Yongguk up till I got here or I know he would have skipped work again.”
“He’s been pretty devoted to you the last few weeks. How has his girlfriend felt about that?”
Daehyun opened his mouth to speak, only to immediately close it. “I don’t know.” He replied truthfully, realizing he hadn’t heard a single word about Heeyoung in the entire time that Yongguk had been in the hospital. Himchan never spoke of her and Daehyun had been so distracted with worry over his brother that he had completely forgotten her existence. This was the first time since Yongguk’s accident that her name had ran through his head. There was no way Himchan had been seeing her since he spent every spare second taking care of Daehyun and making sure their unspoken schedule never changed every day.
Shaking her head, Rae-Ha bit back the smile at her son’s clueless behavior. “Well he’s just been more concerned over how you’ve been managing things I guess.”
Before she could say anything else, the doctor strolled in along with two nurses. Daehyun shook Jongup awake, the smaller boy jerking up in alarm.
“Are you waking him up now?” He demanded, pushing a nurse out of his way to reclaim his usual spot at Yongguk’s side. “How long will it take?”
The doctor was used to his bossy behavior by this point and ignored him as he checked Yongguk’s machines.
“We’re going to need you to sign some papers before we start. Technically his brother is the next of kin, but since you’re Junhong’s legal guardian we’ll need for you to do it.”
She nodded and followed him out of the room leaving the three boys alone with Yongguk
Zelo moved to the other side of the bed and grabbed his brother’s hand tightly. “I can’t wait to talk to you again, hyung.” He whispered into his ear. “I’ve missed you so much since you went to sleep. I’m sorry that I’ve not been a very good brother to you.”
With a loud huff combined with out of shape heaving, Himchan suddenly fell through the door and wheezed at the foot of the bed with his hands on his hips. “I’m here. Did I miss it? Mom called me and I left as soon as I heard. Are you alright, Dae?” He collapsed next to Daehyun on the couch. “I ran the whole way here.”
“You didn’t have to come, hyung.” Daehyun scooted over to give him more room, only for the older boy to follow his movements until they were pressed tightly together again.
Himchan looked hurt at his words. “But I wanted to.” His hand found Daehyun’s and he squeezed his fingers tightly. “Hyung will always take care of you, Daehyun-ah.”
His cheeks flushed bright red at the soft words. Now that Heeyoung had been brought back to his attention he felt nervous over the kindness Himchan had been showing him. What he thought was just friendly concern was obviously something a lot more and he was so stupid not to have seen it this whole time. He had been so preoccupied with Yongguk that nothing else mattered.
As he watched Himchan out of the corner of his eye, he debated on whether it was okay. Whether this was okay. Seeing the bright smile and happy eyes as Himchan affectionately teased Zelo about his newly dyed pink hair, combined with the comforting warmth of his body and the hand that was still holding tightly to him, thumb brushing over his skin made his flesh tingle and his pulse race.
When Himchan turned to him and his lips quirked up in a small smile the one he knew was only ever given to him, Daehyun felt his heart kick into overdrive.
This was okay, he decided, leaning into the heat of the other boy’s body.
This was perfect.
---
“It might take him five or ten minutes to pull out and it could be a while before he’s fully alert.” The doctor warned as he fiddled with Yongguk’s machines. “Do not be alarmed if he acts woozy and disoriented for a day or two. That’s just the effects of the Propofol leaving his system. It will be like coming out of sleep after drinking a whole bottle of cough syrup.”
The family waited with bated breath as Yongguk slowly started showing signs of life. First his eyelids fluttered, the pupils visible for just a few seconds before he lost strength and had to close them, then his fingertips squeezed lightly around Jongup’s.
“Wake up, hyung!” Zelo’s eyes were wide with hysteria the longer it took.
Jongup shushed him. “Take your time, Yongguk.”
A low groan passed through Yongguk’s parted lips as his eyes finally cracked open and stayed that way as he tried to focus on his surroundings, black pupils still blown from the heavy medication.
“Hyung!” Zelo threw his arms across his brother’s chest and let out a loud sob.
A hand shakily reached up to pat his back softly.
“Hey.” Yongguk whispered, his voice hoarse from being unused for so long. He licked his chapped lips and swallowed, flinching at the extreme dryness in his throat.
Rae-Ha grabbed a glass of water off the table and gently placed the straw in his mouth. “Good morning, sweetheart.” She murmured, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “We’ve missed you.”
The doctor forced Jongup back, once again ignoring the curses under his breath, and leaned over Yongguk’s bed to check his reflexes.
“Name?” He shined the penlight into his eyes and held a finger up for him to follow.
“Bang Yongguk.” He rasped out, trying to sit up.
The doctor settled him back against the bed. “No, no stay down it’s too early to be moving around. How old are you?”
“Twenty?”
“Where do you live?”
He looked helplessly up at Rae-Ha. “What’s going on?”
“You’re in the hospital, Yongguk. You’ve been here for a while.” Her face crumpled as she tried to hold in her elation at seeing her son awake. “We’re so excited to see you.”
Jongup stood back at the edge of the bed where the doctor had moved him, his fists curved against the rail, lip clenched tightly between his teeth. He didn’t even care about the copper taste filling his mouth, all he was worried about was if Yongguk would remember everything, remember him.
Dark eyes slanted toward him and Jongup whined under his breath with the need to reach out and draw him in, feel Yongguk’s heart beating against his chest and touch his warm skin.
“Guppie.” He breathed, hand carefully lifting from the bed to grab for him.
With a whimper, Jongup rushed to the head of the bed and collapsed to his knees, face buried against Yongguk’s shoulder.
“Let’s give Jongup and Zelo a few minutes alone with him.” Rae-Ha suggested, pulling Daehyun away and motioning for Himchan to follow them.
Himchan tugged on Daehyun’s hand and pointed to the exit. “I heard the doctor say they were going to do a bunch of tests on him now that he’s awake. Supposed to take a few hours. Want to go home and rest up a bit? Yongguk doesn’t need a dozen people surrounding him when he’s just woken up.”
Daehyun nodded and let the older boy happily lead him out of the hospital and towards the parking lot. “Hyung?” He waited till Himchan turned towards him, an expectant smile on his face. “Thank you.” He mumbled awkwardly. “For being here. With… With me.”
With a squeeze of his fingertips, Himchan just continued to smile at him. “You’re welcome, Daehyunnie.”
---
The whole drive home consisted of Daehyun chewing on his nails and trying to strike up the courage to ask Himchan the question that had been driving him insane, but he was too nervous to hear the answer. This was it, he told himself. Three years and they were back to where they started. Back to being worried about other people’s safety, back to feeling like Himchan’s affections weren’t deserved.
But at least this time he was sure of one thing: He wanted this. He wanted Himchan’s attention on him, wanted the feel of his fingers stroking across his skin. He wanted Himchan. And it only took three years for him to figure that out.
“I haven’t seen Heeyoung.” His voice was small, but he knew Himchan heard him over the radio by the stiffness in his shoulders and the slight tightening of the hand around his own. “Where has she been lately?”
Himchan shrugged and turned the music up a little bit louder. “Around.” He replied nonchalantly. “I don’t know.”
Daehyun watched him out of the corner of his eye. After his question Himchan refused to look at him, had even pulled his hand away to hold tightly to the steering wheel.
When they pulled into the driveway Himchan didn’t even wait for him to get out before escaping from the car like it was on fire, his feet slamming against the concrete as he raced towards the steps.
“Hyung!” Daehyun called back after him as he breathlessly chased him through the door, catching his sleeve as Himchan desperately tried to kick his shoes off. “Himchannie please!”
“I really need a nap before we go back to the hospital.” Himchan looked longingly at his bedroom. “I had to be at work at six this morning and I’m exhausted. Please Daehyun.”
“What happened to Heeyoung?” Daehyun decided there was no need to beat around the bush. Today was a day of new beginnings. For Yongguk and for him. “You were dating her and then all of a sudden I’ve never heard of or seen her since. Why won’t you just answer me? Is it because I’m here?”
Himchan sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. “Dae, it’s really late. Can’t we do this tomorrow?”
He shook his head and blocked the older boy from exiting the living room. “No. You wanted to talk when I got here. Here I am, let’s go.”
“And you left!” Himchan’s temper was rising and he had to fight hard to keep it down. “I told you how I felt about you and you just walked away!”
“Well I’m here now!”
With a snort, Himchan sat down on the couch and rested his head in his hands. “Maybe it’s too late. I’m just so tired of this, Daehyun. Waiting for you to grow up and see me. I took care of you while Yongguk was in the coma because you needed it, but you don’t owe me anything for it. I don’t want your pity.”
He flinched, not wanting Himchan to feel that hurt over him. It was never his goal to hurt anyone.
“I’m sorry.” Daehyun’s words were soft as he carefully sat next to him on the seat. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that I wasn’t… That I didn’t feel for you, hyung.”
Himchan cracked open an eye and studied him in that sharp way that only he could do. “I waited for you.” He finally announced, dropping his hands and letting Daehyun see the barely hidden betrayal on his face. “For over two years I kept telling myself that you were getting older and you would just tell me yes or no, either way and just put me out of my misery. God, I was miserable for so long, Daehyun. I didn’t go out with my friends anymore on the rare chance that you would text me. I hounded my brother every day for any little bit of news about you. And for what? You to just treat me like dirt? Make me feel like a bother, a burden that you had to deal with?” He jumped up and pulled angrily at his hair, wild eyes pleading with Daehyun to just see what he had done to him. “So I told myself I would give you one more shot, one last chance to try to get you to talk to me. And I got one reply. One. I waited all night for you. On Christmas!”
“Hyung-“
“I gave up on you, Daehyun.” His voice cracked and he hated himself for still letting his little brother’s best friend get the best of him like this. “When I saw you in the kitchen I thought that you had come back, that you had changed your mind, that you were finally here for me.” He shook his head. “But you still didn’t care. I practically told you I loved you and you just left me in the kitchen.”
Daehyun slowly stepped towards him. “Himchannie.” He murmured, grabbing his cheeks and yanking his head down to meet his. He could hear Himchan’s hysterical pants against his mouth and he only wanted to remove all of the stress and torture he had done to him over the last few years. “I see you, hyung. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I see you.”
His lips were soft when Daehyun’s touched them. Soft and parted and perfect. They fit against each other just as well as Daehyun remembered. Hands hesitantly wrapped around his small waist and tugged him forward, deepening the kiss and making them both woozy with the taste of each other.
They didn’t rush it, they were both just content to finally be able to touch after so long. Feel the warmth spreading through their tensed bodies, savor the moment as if it was their first.
And for Daehyun it really felt like it was. When Himchan had kissed him all that time ago, it was with the intention to just make him feel better. Daehyun treasured the memory, but it was always with the voice in the back of his head telling him it had only happened because Himchan was uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do.
But this?
This was happiness and sunbursts erupting behind his eyelids and a slow burning in his chest that threatened to erupt every time Himchan’s lashes fluttered against his skin.
“Daehyun-ah.” Himchan broke away first, his forehead resting against Daehyun’s as he fought hard to catch his breath.
“You gave up your last free summer just to take care of me.” Daehyun whispered, his lips still tingling from the feel of Himchan’s. “Even when I told you I didn’t want anything to do with you, you still tried to help me.”
Himchan’s palm was heavy on the curve of his spine. “I would do anything for you.”
“You say you gave up on me but you didn’t. You didn’t, hyung.” With a whoosh of air, Daehyun jerked him forward, capturing his bottom lip and laving it with his tongue until Himchan responded.
This time Himchan was rougher with him, letting go of years of frustration and abandonment. His touch wasn’t gentle as he clawed at his hips and forced Daehyun’s tongue back to take control of his mouth.
“Four years.” Himchan growled, backing him through the room and shoving him towards the wall. “I’ve been in love with you for four years, you little brat. And you never once noticed.”
Daehyun gasped as teeth scraped across his pulse. Himchan’s body was nudged against his so hard he couldn’t move, barely able to hold himself upright as lips slipped across his skin.
“I’m sorry.” Daehyun half pleaded, half moaned into the air. “Hyung- I can’t…” He couldn’t help the air that hissed through his teeth when Himchan’s teeth scratched at his pulse. “I love you.” His mouth started babbling into the silence, words escaping him that he never dreamed of saying but couldn’t take back once they were imprinted into the air around them. “I love you, hyung.”
Himchan gave them some space between their still heated bodies and smiled so brightly that Daehyun wondered what the hell he had been waiting for all of these years. Everything he had ever been worried about didn’t even matter anymore. That smile had always been there. Only for him.
Four months later
“No baby, you have to hold it in your right hand.” Jongup patiently fixed Yongguk’s chopsticks and waited for him to use them semi-properly before turning back to his own food, his eyes still half-trained on his boyfriend’s third utensil mistake in the last twenty minutes.
Yongguk glared angrily at the wooden sticks in his fist and squeezed them tightly together as if he was thinking of snapping them in two. “They said I could use them on my own from now on. Why am I still not getting it?”
He chewed on his lower lip and carefully lowered them into his bowl and grasped onto a few noodles. “Look!” His grin was bright as he slowly dragged them to his lips. “I did it!”
The rest of the table cheered loudly for him as he blushed under their praise. Mastering chopsticks was still one of the hardest parts of his physical therapy but his doctor told him that it was time to stop with the training ones and try to go back to using real chopsticks with every meal. It might take a while to get it right again, but Yongguk was determined not to let it hinder him.
The worst part for him was the forgetfulness he had all of the time now. Jongup would tell him to call him at a certain time and then he would be phoning frantically wondering where he was. It had taken him a few weeks to realize he needed to buy a very detailed planner and write down everything he needed to do during the day.
The time he had referred to Zelo as Bang Junhong and the lost look on his baby brother’s face still hit him like a punch to the gut.
“No hyung, we have different last names remember? Mom didn’t start seeing my dad until you were four years old.”
But he didn’t remember. He had no memory at all of his step-father. Zelo told him it was probably a good thing since his father was a deadbeat who slapped them around at every opportunity. But it didn’t make Yongguk feel any better.
The doctors had told him that he was actually on the lucky side of brain damage. A lot of people were never able to care for themselves again. Yongguk was thankful that he had a family that stood behind him and made sure he got the best care there was.
Jongup’s hand was warm on his neck and he instinctually snuggled his cheek against it, counting his blessings for the millionth time that still had Jongup.
“Are you okay? You’ve done really well, Gukkie. If you need the training chopsticks to finish then it’s fine. You need to relax while you’re eating.”
He shook his head and smiled reassuringly at him. “I’m fine, promise.”
“They’re not going to start kissing again, are they?” Zelo wrinkled his nose and turned towards Rae-Ha in disgust. “Mom, you told them they couldn’t do that at the table anymore.”
She laughed and swatted at him with her napkin. “They only get to see each other twice a month. Let them enjoy themselves. Besides,” Her eyes slid towards Daehyun. “I think my other son is ten seconds away from climbing into his boyfriend’s lap.”
The two boys jumped apart in embarrassment, Daehyun’s arms detaching from around Himchan’s shoulders. “Sorry.” He tried to bite back the smile when a warm palm suddenly ran down his thigh, fingers teasing at the bottom hem of his shorts.
Himchan waited until Rae-Ha’s attention had turned towards the others before leaning closer and letting his warm breath wash over Daehyun’s ear. “Want to go for a walk when we get done eating?”
He leaned into him, eyes fluttering at the tilt of his voice. Everything Himchan said to him still sent shockwaves through his body. It had been deprived of his voice for so long that it was making up for lost time by over-reacting to the slightest murmur or whisper in his ear.
“Daehyunnie?” Himchan asked impatiently, letting the tip of his teeth scratch over Daehyun’s lobe, his hand coming up behind the chair to tangle into his hair. “I can make you moan right here at this table with one stroke of my fingers through your hair. When hyung asks you a question you shouldn’t ignore him.”
He nodded, his hand fisting over his chopsticks. “Yes.”
“Good boy.” Himchan moved back to his side and grinned up at him through his bangs.
Daehyun reached over and pushed a lock behind Himchan’s ear and smiled fondly at his boyfriend. “I love you, Himchannie.”
Eyes widening, Himchan nodded, the tips of his ears turning red at the tender words that were usually reserved for when they were alone, sentiments panted into each other’s ears as they drove each other senseless with bruising kisses and soft touches. His lips finally spread into a large smile, the one that was only used for his boyfriend, the one that made Daehyun fall in love with him, the one that never left his mind the entire three years they were apart.
“Me too, Dae.”
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A/N And we're done folks. Sorry it took so long to get it finished, but this was a 70,000+ word monster and it took a lot out of me. Honestly the only reason I even finished was because Andrea was here holding my hand and encouraging me for weeks on end and bless her for putting up with my bipolar shit all day.
Some of you might be annoyed that Youngjae wasn't mentioned in this chapter but I tried to tell anyone that insinuated there was going to be YoungLo that it was all in your head. I mean he was only 13 and he had been through so much trauma in his short life that I didn't think adding a relationship was really realistic. I just wanted Youngjae to be someone he depended on. Maybe they started dating in a few years, just think that. :)
I'm going to be keeping my next chaptered story out of the general public and just on my other acct until it's 100% finished, but if you ever want to know fic progress or updates, then Twitter is the best place to see them since my Tumblr is now an EXO one.
I hope you all appreciated this happy ending because as most of you know that is not what I normally write!
Rated: PG13
Length: 4.4K
Their lives quickly morphed into a routine, one that Daehyun stuck rigidly too every day. Deviating from the routine meant thinking for to long about things that he didn't want to mess with.
As soon as he woke up he ate whatever Himchan fixed him for breakfast. He always had something ready for him even if he worked late the night before. They would get dressed and head over to the hospital to meet with Jongup who normally was already there the second visiting hours started. Then he and Himchan would leave in the afternoon so that the older boy could go to work for a few hours that night. Jongup always stayed until he was kicked out and only came home long enough to eat, shower and crash for the least amount of hours he could get away with before jumping up and running out the door the next morning.
Every day they inspected Yongguk from head to toe and compared his bruises and swelling to yesterdays. After a couple of weeks he was looking almost back to normal with just the bandaged up broken bones marring his body.
Every few days they pulled him out of the coma just long enough to ask him a few basic questions: what is your name, how old are you, what year is it. The doctor refused to let anyone in during those few minutes and it was driving them all crazy not being able to talk to him.
Three weeks had passed with no indication that Yongguk was getting better or worse, it was always just the same. Rae-Ha tried to come up at least twice a week with Junhong but for the most part Mi-Ra took charge of his care and she refused to tell them anything. "Just let him rest and recover. That's what Yongguk needs the most right now."
And then finally, the day they had been hoping for finally happened.
“They think Yongguk can be woken up today. For good.” Jongup took a deep breath and tried hard to calm his racing heartbeat down. “We’re going to get to talk to Yongguk today, oh crap. What if he’s not the same, Daehyun? What if he doesn’t even know who we are?”
Daehyun pulled him into his arms and squeezed his waist gently. The smaller boy felt like he had lost a good chunk of his weight and Daehyun didn’t want to hurt him. “If he doesn’t know who we are then we’ll just have to remind him. He found you and fell in love twice, Jongup. I’m sure a third time would come easy to him.”
“I’m just scared.” Jongup wiped angrily at his wet eyes. “The doctor said they won’t know the full extent of his brain damage until he’s awake. What if he’s not Yongguk anymore?”
That was a valid concern, but Daehyun didn’t want to agree. Yongguk’s doctor told them that he had seen brain damage patients go either away in his years of medicine. Some people bounced back with little or no effects. But some never recovered and had to spend the rest of their lives in the care of others. Daehyun knew his mother would watch over him with no hesitation, but he hoped it would never come to that point.
“When are they going to do it?”
Jongup shrugged. “They want to wait until my mom or yours can be here.” He frowned. “Said that I might get “too emotional” and have to be taken out of the room. Like they could force me.” He muttered under his breath.
Daehyun didn’t have the heart to tell him it wouldn’t be that hard. With the large amount of weight he’d dropped in the last three weeks it wouldn’t take much to overpower him.
“Why don’t you try and take a nap?” He suggested pulling a book out of his backpack. “I’ll stay up with him so you can rest until everyone else is here.”
With a grateful nod Jongup spread out on the couch next to him and laid his head in Daehyun’s lap. “Thanks Dae.” He yawned and buried his face in his best friend’s belly. “Wake me up when the doctor comes in.”
A few hours later Rae-Ha and Junhong skipped through the door, the excitement bright on their faces. “Daehyun-hyung!” Zelo bounced on his feet and clapped happily. “Did you hear? They’re going to wake him up today! And we get to be in the room!”
He grinned as he put his book away, pleased to hear his little brother speaking full sentences. “I know Zelo, that’s great news.” He motioned towards the motionless lump in his lap. “I told Jongup to get some rest before they did it so he wasn’t a zombie all night.”
Rae-Ha clicked her tongue and patted Jongup’s greasy unwashed hair. “He’s been so good to Yongguk. They must really love each other.” She looked around in confusion. “Speaking of, where is Himchan? I thought you didn’t come to the hospital unless he was with you.”
Blushing, Daehyun averted his eyes to the floor. “He had to go to work for a little bit since he’s missed so much this month. He promised he’d be here when he got off. We didn’t find out they were going to wake Yongguk up till I got here or I know he would have skipped work again.”
“He’s been pretty devoted to you the last few weeks. How has his girlfriend felt about that?”
Daehyun opened his mouth to speak, only to immediately close it. “I don’t know.” He replied truthfully, realizing he hadn’t heard a single word about Heeyoung in the entire time that Yongguk had been in the hospital. Himchan never spoke of her and Daehyun had been so distracted with worry over his brother that he had completely forgotten her existence. This was the first time since Yongguk’s accident that her name had ran through his head. There was no way Himchan had been seeing her since he spent every spare second taking care of Daehyun and making sure their unspoken schedule never changed every day.
Shaking her head, Rae-Ha bit back the smile at her son’s clueless behavior. “Well he’s just been more concerned over how you’ve been managing things I guess.”
Before she could say anything else, the doctor strolled in along with two nurses. Daehyun shook Jongup awake, the smaller boy jerking up in alarm.
“Are you waking him up now?” He demanded, pushing a nurse out of his way to reclaim his usual spot at Yongguk’s side. “How long will it take?”
The doctor was used to his bossy behavior by this point and ignored him as he checked Yongguk’s machines.
“We’re going to need you to sign some papers before we start. Technically his brother is the next of kin, but since you’re Junhong’s legal guardian we’ll need for you to do it.”
She nodded and followed him out of the room leaving the three boys alone with Yongguk
Zelo moved to the other side of the bed and grabbed his brother’s hand tightly. “I can’t wait to talk to you again, hyung.” He whispered into his ear. “I’ve missed you so much since you went to sleep. I’m sorry that I’ve not been a very good brother to you.”
With a loud huff combined with out of shape heaving, Himchan suddenly fell through the door and wheezed at the foot of the bed with his hands on his hips. “I’m here. Did I miss it? Mom called me and I left as soon as I heard. Are you alright, Dae?” He collapsed next to Daehyun on the couch. “I ran the whole way here.”
“You didn’t have to come, hyung.” Daehyun scooted over to give him more room, only for the older boy to follow his movements until they were pressed tightly together again.
Himchan looked hurt at his words. “But I wanted to.” His hand found Daehyun’s and he squeezed his fingers tightly. “Hyung will always take care of you, Daehyun-ah.”
His cheeks flushed bright red at the soft words. Now that Heeyoung had been brought back to his attention he felt nervous over the kindness Himchan had been showing him. What he thought was just friendly concern was obviously something a lot more and he was so stupid not to have seen it this whole time. He had been so preoccupied with Yongguk that nothing else mattered.
As he watched Himchan out of the corner of his eye, he debated on whether it was okay. Whether this was okay. Seeing the bright smile and happy eyes as Himchan affectionately teased Zelo about his newly dyed pink hair, combined with the comforting warmth of his body and the hand that was still holding tightly to him, thumb brushing over his skin made his flesh tingle and his pulse race.
When Himchan turned to him and his lips quirked up in a small smile the one he knew was only ever given to him, Daehyun felt his heart kick into overdrive.
This was okay, he decided, leaning into the heat of the other boy’s body.
This was perfect.
---
“It might take him five or ten minutes to pull out and it could be a while before he’s fully alert.” The doctor warned as he fiddled with Yongguk’s machines. “Do not be alarmed if he acts woozy and disoriented for a day or two. That’s just the effects of the Propofol leaving his system. It will be like coming out of sleep after drinking a whole bottle of cough syrup.”
The family waited with bated breath as Yongguk slowly started showing signs of life. First his eyelids fluttered, the pupils visible for just a few seconds before he lost strength and had to close them, then his fingertips squeezed lightly around Jongup’s.
“Wake up, hyung!” Zelo’s eyes were wide with hysteria the longer it took.
Jongup shushed him. “Take your time, Yongguk.”
A low groan passed through Yongguk’s parted lips as his eyes finally cracked open and stayed that way as he tried to focus on his surroundings, black pupils still blown from the heavy medication.
“Hyung!” Zelo threw his arms across his brother’s chest and let out a loud sob.
A hand shakily reached up to pat his back softly.
“Hey.” Yongguk whispered, his voice hoarse from being unused for so long. He licked his chapped lips and swallowed, flinching at the extreme dryness in his throat.
Rae-Ha grabbed a glass of water off the table and gently placed the straw in his mouth. “Good morning, sweetheart.” She murmured, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “We’ve missed you.”
The doctor forced Jongup back, once again ignoring the curses under his breath, and leaned over Yongguk’s bed to check his reflexes.
“Name?” He shined the penlight into his eyes and held a finger up for him to follow.
“Bang Yongguk.” He rasped out, trying to sit up.
The doctor settled him back against the bed. “No, no stay down it’s too early to be moving around. How old are you?”
“Twenty?”
“Where do you live?”
He looked helplessly up at Rae-Ha. “What’s going on?”
“You’re in the hospital, Yongguk. You’ve been here for a while.” Her face crumpled as she tried to hold in her elation at seeing her son awake. “We’re so excited to see you.”
Jongup stood back at the edge of the bed where the doctor had moved him, his fists curved against the rail, lip clenched tightly between his teeth. He didn’t even care about the copper taste filling his mouth, all he was worried about was if Yongguk would remember everything, remember him.
Dark eyes slanted toward him and Jongup whined under his breath with the need to reach out and draw him in, feel Yongguk’s heart beating against his chest and touch his warm skin.
“Guppie.” He breathed, hand carefully lifting from the bed to grab for him.
With a whimper, Jongup rushed to the head of the bed and collapsed to his knees, face buried against Yongguk’s shoulder.
“Let’s give Jongup and Zelo a few minutes alone with him.” Rae-Ha suggested, pulling Daehyun away and motioning for Himchan to follow them.
Himchan tugged on Daehyun’s hand and pointed to the exit. “I heard the doctor say they were going to do a bunch of tests on him now that he’s awake. Supposed to take a few hours. Want to go home and rest up a bit? Yongguk doesn’t need a dozen people surrounding him when he’s just woken up.”
Daehyun nodded and let the older boy happily lead him out of the hospital and towards the parking lot. “Hyung?” He waited till Himchan turned towards him, an expectant smile on his face. “Thank you.” He mumbled awkwardly. “For being here. With… With me.”
With a squeeze of his fingertips, Himchan just continued to smile at him. “You’re welcome, Daehyunnie.”
---
The whole drive home consisted of Daehyun chewing on his nails and trying to strike up the courage to ask Himchan the question that had been driving him insane, but he was too nervous to hear the answer. This was it, he told himself. Three years and they were back to where they started. Back to being worried about other people’s safety, back to feeling like Himchan’s affections weren’t deserved.
But at least this time he was sure of one thing: He wanted this. He wanted Himchan’s attention on him, wanted the feel of his fingers stroking across his skin. He wanted Himchan. And it only took three years for him to figure that out.
“I haven’t seen Heeyoung.” His voice was small, but he knew Himchan heard him over the radio by the stiffness in his shoulders and the slight tightening of the hand around his own. “Where has she been lately?”
Himchan shrugged and turned the music up a little bit louder. “Around.” He replied nonchalantly. “I don’t know.”
Daehyun watched him out of the corner of his eye. After his question Himchan refused to look at him, had even pulled his hand away to hold tightly to the steering wheel.
When they pulled into the driveway Himchan didn’t even wait for him to get out before escaping from the car like it was on fire, his feet slamming against the concrete as he raced towards the steps.
“Hyung!” Daehyun called back after him as he breathlessly chased him through the door, catching his sleeve as Himchan desperately tried to kick his shoes off. “Himchannie please!”
“I really need a nap before we go back to the hospital.” Himchan looked longingly at his bedroom. “I had to be at work at six this morning and I’m exhausted. Please Daehyun.”
“What happened to Heeyoung?” Daehyun decided there was no need to beat around the bush. Today was a day of new beginnings. For Yongguk and for him. “You were dating her and then all of a sudden I’ve never heard of or seen her since. Why won’t you just answer me? Is it because I’m here?”
Himchan sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. “Dae, it’s really late. Can’t we do this tomorrow?”
He shook his head and blocked the older boy from exiting the living room. “No. You wanted to talk when I got here. Here I am, let’s go.”
“And you left!” Himchan’s temper was rising and he had to fight hard to keep it down. “I told you how I felt about you and you just walked away!”
“Well I’m here now!”
With a snort, Himchan sat down on the couch and rested his head in his hands. “Maybe it’s too late. I’m just so tired of this, Daehyun. Waiting for you to grow up and see me. I took care of you while Yongguk was in the coma because you needed it, but you don’t owe me anything for it. I don’t want your pity.”
He flinched, not wanting Himchan to feel that hurt over him. It was never his goal to hurt anyone.
“I’m sorry.” Daehyun’s words were soft as he carefully sat next to him on the seat. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that I wasn’t… That I didn’t feel for you, hyung.”
Himchan cracked open an eye and studied him in that sharp way that only he could do. “I waited for you.” He finally announced, dropping his hands and letting Daehyun see the barely hidden betrayal on his face. “For over two years I kept telling myself that you were getting older and you would just tell me yes or no, either way and just put me out of my misery. God, I was miserable for so long, Daehyun. I didn’t go out with my friends anymore on the rare chance that you would text me. I hounded my brother every day for any little bit of news about you. And for what? You to just treat me like dirt? Make me feel like a bother, a burden that you had to deal with?” He jumped up and pulled angrily at his hair, wild eyes pleading with Daehyun to just see what he had done to him. “So I told myself I would give you one more shot, one last chance to try to get you to talk to me. And I got one reply. One. I waited all night for you. On Christmas!”
“Hyung-“
“I gave up on you, Daehyun.” His voice cracked and he hated himself for still letting his little brother’s best friend get the best of him like this. “When I saw you in the kitchen I thought that you had come back, that you had changed your mind, that you were finally here for me.” He shook his head. “But you still didn’t care. I practically told you I loved you and you just left me in the kitchen.”
Daehyun slowly stepped towards him. “Himchannie.” He murmured, grabbing his cheeks and yanking his head down to meet his. He could hear Himchan’s hysterical pants against his mouth and he only wanted to remove all of the stress and torture he had done to him over the last few years. “I see you, hyung. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I see you.”
His lips were soft when Daehyun’s touched them. Soft and parted and perfect. They fit against each other just as well as Daehyun remembered. Hands hesitantly wrapped around his small waist and tugged him forward, deepening the kiss and making them both woozy with the taste of each other.
They didn’t rush it, they were both just content to finally be able to touch after so long. Feel the warmth spreading through their tensed bodies, savor the moment as if it was their first.
And for Daehyun it really felt like it was. When Himchan had kissed him all that time ago, it was with the intention to just make him feel better. Daehyun treasured the memory, but it was always with the voice in the back of his head telling him it had only happened because Himchan was uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do.
But this?
This was happiness and sunbursts erupting behind his eyelids and a slow burning in his chest that threatened to erupt every time Himchan’s lashes fluttered against his skin.
“Daehyun-ah.” Himchan broke away first, his forehead resting against Daehyun’s as he fought hard to catch his breath.
“You gave up your last free summer just to take care of me.” Daehyun whispered, his lips still tingling from the feel of Himchan’s. “Even when I told you I didn’t want anything to do with you, you still tried to help me.”
Himchan’s palm was heavy on the curve of his spine. “I would do anything for you.”
“You say you gave up on me but you didn’t. You didn’t, hyung.” With a whoosh of air, Daehyun jerked him forward, capturing his bottom lip and laving it with his tongue until Himchan responded.
This time Himchan was rougher with him, letting go of years of frustration and abandonment. His touch wasn’t gentle as he clawed at his hips and forced Daehyun’s tongue back to take control of his mouth.
“Four years.” Himchan growled, backing him through the room and shoving him towards the wall. “I’ve been in love with you for four years, you little brat. And you never once noticed.”
Daehyun gasped as teeth scraped across his pulse. Himchan’s body was nudged against his so hard he couldn’t move, barely able to hold himself upright as lips slipped across his skin.
“I’m sorry.” Daehyun half pleaded, half moaned into the air. “Hyung- I can’t…” He couldn’t help the air that hissed through his teeth when Himchan’s teeth scratched at his pulse. “I love you.” His mouth started babbling into the silence, words escaping him that he never dreamed of saying but couldn’t take back once they were imprinted into the air around them. “I love you, hyung.”
Himchan gave them some space between their still heated bodies and smiled so brightly that Daehyun wondered what the hell he had been waiting for all of these years. Everything he had ever been worried about didn’t even matter anymore. That smile had always been there. Only for him.
Four months later
“No baby, you have to hold it in your right hand.” Jongup patiently fixed Yongguk’s chopsticks and waited for him to use them semi-properly before turning back to his own food, his eyes still half-trained on his boyfriend’s third utensil mistake in the last twenty minutes.
Yongguk glared angrily at the wooden sticks in his fist and squeezed them tightly together as if he was thinking of snapping them in two. “They said I could use them on my own from now on. Why am I still not getting it?”
He chewed on his lower lip and carefully lowered them into his bowl and grasped onto a few noodles. “Look!” His grin was bright as he slowly dragged them to his lips. “I did it!”
The rest of the table cheered loudly for him as he blushed under their praise. Mastering chopsticks was still one of the hardest parts of his physical therapy but his doctor told him that it was time to stop with the training ones and try to go back to using real chopsticks with every meal. It might take a while to get it right again, but Yongguk was determined not to let it hinder him.
The worst part for him was the forgetfulness he had all of the time now. Jongup would tell him to call him at a certain time and then he would be phoning frantically wondering where he was. It had taken him a few weeks to realize he needed to buy a very detailed planner and write down everything he needed to do during the day.
The time he had referred to Zelo as Bang Junhong and the lost look on his baby brother’s face still hit him like a punch to the gut.
“No hyung, we have different last names remember? Mom didn’t start seeing my dad until you were four years old.”
But he didn’t remember. He had no memory at all of his step-father. Zelo told him it was probably a good thing since his father was a deadbeat who slapped them around at every opportunity. But it didn’t make Yongguk feel any better.
The doctors had told him that he was actually on the lucky side of brain damage. A lot of people were never able to care for themselves again. Yongguk was thankful that he had a family that stood behind him and made sure he got the best care there was.
Jongup’s hand was warm on his neck and he instinctually snuggled his cheek against it, counting his blessings for the millionth time that still had Jongup.
“Are you okay? You’ve done really well, Gukkie. If you need the training chopsticks to finish then it’s fine. You need to relax while you’re eating.”
He shook his head and smiled reassuringly at him. “I’m fine, promise.”
“They’re not going to start kissing again, are they?” Zelo wrinkled his nose and turned towards Rae-Ha in disgust. “Mom, you told them they couldn’t do that at the table anymore.”
She laughed and swatted at him with her napkin. “They only get to see each other twice a month. Let them enjoy themselves. Besides,” Her eyes slid towards Daehyun. “I think my other son is ten seconds away from climbing into his boyfriend’s lap.”
The two boys jumped apart in embarrassment, Daehyun’s arms detaching from around Himchan’s shoulders. “Sorry.” He tried to bite back the smile when a warm palm suddenly ran down his thigh, fingers teasing at the bottom hem of his shorts.
Himchan waited until Rae-Ha’s attention had turned towards the others before leaning closer and letting his warm breath wash over Daehyun’s ear. “Want to go for a walk when we get done eating?”
He leaned into him, eyes fluttering at the tilt of his voice. Everything Himchan said to him still sent shockwaves through his body. It had been deprived of his voice for so long that it was making up for lost time by over-reacting to the slightest murmur or whisper in his ear.
“Daehyunnie?” Himchan asked impatiently, letting the tip of his teeth scratch over Daehyun’s lobe, his hand coming up behind the chair to tangle into his hair. “I can make you moan right here at this table with one stroke of my fingers through your hair. When hyung asks you a question you shouldn’t ignore him.”
He nodded, his hand fisting over his chopsticks. “Yes.”
“Good boy.” Himchan moved back to his side and grinned up at him through his bangs.
Daehyun reached over and pushed a lock behind Himchan’s ear and smiled fondly at his boyfriend. “I love you, Himchannie.”
Eyes widening, Himchan nodded, the tips of his ears turning red at the tender words that were usually reserved for when they were alone, sentiments panted into each other’s ears as they drove each other senseless with bruising kisses and soft touches. His lips finally spread into a large smile, the one that was only used for his boyfriend, the one that made Daehyun fall in love with him, the one that never left his mind the entire three years they were apart.
“Me too, Dae.”
-----------------------------------------------
A/N And we're done folks. Sorry it took so long to get it finished, but this was a 70,000+ word monster and it took a lot out of me. Honestly the only reason I even finished was because Andrea was here holding my hand and encouraging me for weeks on end and bless her for putting up with my bipolar shit all day.
Some of you might be annoyed that Youngjae wasn't mentioned in this chapter but I tried to tell anyone that insinuated there was going to be YoungLo that it was all in your head. I mean he was only 13 and he had been through so much trauma in his short life that I didn't think adding a relationship was really realistic. I just wanted Youngjae to be someone he depended on. Maybe they started dating in a few years, just think that. :)
I'm going to be keeping my next chaptered story out of the general public and just on my other acct until it's 100% finished, but if you ever want to know fic progress or updates, then Twitter is the best place to see them since my Tumblr is now an EXO one.
I hope you all appreciated this happy ending because as most of you know that is not what I normally write!