Changing times and houses.
So... as soon as I came to Canada, it still felt really UNREAL.
I was just in a daze or likely jetlag and unsure what to make of the feeling that I just returned to Canada after two long years. I had suffered alot of isolation, not much contact with friends and always moody and depress every day (it was very unpleasant). At first staying in my sis's apartment, I couldn't recognize it as my own any more, since I grew used to the wider house that I previously lived in.. it was very cramped!
I had spend afew days arguing and getting excessively angry and moody... I was still trying to get over my depression and loneliness. I realize that I had always been a type of person who could get maliciously jealous of 'popular' artists.. I harbored a strong hatred for them and I was relieved that my hobby collection was my savior; it saved me from my rotten-attention seeking pit. I think it was a grown paranoia in me that I feared people would dislike me, find me boring to talk to or abandon me from years of moving experience :( I would tend to mumble to myself, having lack of talking to people and low self confidence.
****
Days went by and I started picking up the positive energy from my sister whom I thought we'd never get along again. We played a fun Ipod app game together called 'Magic Tree' and from just interacting, it really cheered my dreary spirits. Then we visited 'Steam on Queen' which was a fun mini event about the Steampunk era, which my sister absolutely loves and we went there to listen to Victorian stories, wacky inventions and having alot of fun.
I feel that 'fun' had been sapped out of my life for a long period, it was a hard hill to climb but I was finally myself again. I even became a shopaholic because receiving gifts were the closest to having 'joy' even if it was self-bought. But I was always excited to learn about dolls and all the DIY things you could do with them.
- Joichi
I was just in a daze or likely jetlag and unsure what to make of the feeling that I just returned to Canada after two long years. I had suffered alot of isolation, not much contact with friends and always moody and depress every day (it was very unpleasant). At first staying in my sis's apartment, I couldn't recognize it as my own any more, since I grew used to the wider house that I previously lived in.. it was very cramped!
I had spend afew days arguing and getting excessively angry and moody... I was still trying to get over my depression and loneliness. I realize that I had always been a type of person who could get maliciously jealous of 'popular' artists.. I harbored a strong hatred for them and I was relieved that my hobby collection was my savior; it saved me from my rotten-attention seeking pit. I think it was a grown paranoia in me that I feared people would dislike me, find me boring to talk to or abandon me from years of moving experience :( I would tend to mumble to myself, having lack of talking to people and low self confidence.
****
Days went by and I started picking up the positive energy from my sister whom I thought we'd never get along again. We played a fun Ipod app game together called 'Magic Tree' and from just interacting, it really cheered my dreary spirits. Then we visited 'Steam on Queen' which was a fun mini event about the Steampunk era, which my sister absolutely loves and we went there to listen to Victorian stories, wacky inventions and having alot of fun.
I feel that 'fun' had been sapped out of my life for a long period, it was a hard hill to climb but I was finally myself again. I even became a shopaholic because receiving gifts were the closest to having 'joy' even if it was self-bought. But I was always excited to learn about dolls and all the DIY things you could do with them.
- Joichi