(no subject)
Shalom all! My mom's said some interesting stuff tonight. So instead of doing a real post, I'll give this half-assed post instead by making fun of mommy (who I love more than anything):
Mom: Adam, you're like an elephant in a china bull.
~Silence~
(Me: Mom...)
Later on, as in around midnight, my dad and stepmom and these moving guys were over to help move their (Dad and Jess's) treadmill into my house, because it was, of course, the perfect time of day to do so. I walked down to say hi to them and saw a little black kid who had to have been about 10 or 11 years old. Confused, I went upstairs. Later, after they left, I asked my mom:
~I'm looking around nervously, knowing I'm about to say something not so racially sensitive...~
Me: Mom, why was there a small black child in our house?
Mom: Well, the police were here.
Me: ~Confused look on my face~
Me: So wait, the police saw a black kid in our house and came, but why was he here?
Mom: ~Ignoring me~ Some of the neighbors saw the moving truck in front of our house, and you know, people steal houses that way...
Me: ~Confused look on my face~ Mom...
Mom: Oh, shut up, you know what I meant.
Me: Right. So they picked up the kid just before they got called to our house and didn't trust him alone in their car, so they brought him in?
Mom: Adam, what are you talking about?
Me: That small black child who was in our house.
Mom: What? He was the moving guy's kid.
Me: Oh...
Apparently she didn't hear me talking about the kid at first and was just going on into some rant of her own...and I in turn offended a great many people. Well anyway...nighty night everyone! Sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs sneak into your room at night and sell your underwear on the Turkish black market!
Mom: Adam, you're like an elephant in a china bull.
~Silence~
(Me: Mom...)
Later on, as in around midnight, my dad and stepmom and these moving guys were over to help move their (Dad and Jess's) treadmill into my house, because it was, of course, the perfect time of day to do so. I walked down to say hi to them and saw a little black kid who had to have been about 10 or 11 years old. Confused, I went upstairs. Later, after they left, I asked my mom:
~I'm looking around nervously, knowing I'm about to say something not so racially sensitive...~
Me: Mom, why was there a small black child in our house?
Mom: Well, the police were here.
Me: ~Confused look on my face~
Me: So wait, the police saw a black kid in our house and came, but why was he here?
Mom: ~Ignoring me~ Some of the neighbors saw the moving truck in front of our house, and you know, people steal houses that way...
Me: ~Confused look on my face~ Mom...
Mom: Oh, shut up, you know what I meant.
Me: Right. So they picked up the kid just before they got called to our house and didn't trust him alone in their car, so they brought him in?
Mom: Adam, what are you talking about?
Me: That small black child who was in our house.
Mom: What? He was the moving guy's kid.
Me: Oh...
Apparently she didn't hear me talking about the kid at first and was just going on into some rant of her own...and I in turn offended a great many people. Well anyway...nighty night everyone! Sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs sneak into your room at night and sell your underwear on the Turkish black market!