update on how life sucks
Well, I can't really pinpoint how I feel anymore as it changes about 20 times during the day. My mood seems to have become dependent on how a certain very special person's day is going. The funny thing is, just two days ago I was watching that show called "my fair brady" where the woman that played the mom on the brady bunch gives relationship counseling to some couple. It just so happened that this girl had moved in with her boyfriend, whom she loved very much, but she was building her life around him instead of having one of her own. Mrs. Brady decided that the best thing for this couple was for her to move out, gain a little independence and learn how to run her life without him. I started to realise that this is very similar to what I've been doing. I do have my own things to do, crew being the main one, but sinse it hasn't started yet I have all this free time to wrap myself around someone else, and now that his activities have picked up (in a big way) it's very hard for me to leave him by himself to study or take care of other things; I'm so used to seeing him almost whenever I wish. And I don't know whether or not to feel like everthing is still the same between us and it's simply that we can't see each other as much or if we're going to end up drifting away from one another. Anyway, I've started doing what I would normally do and block off those negative thoughts until I have an actual reason to believe them. Until that time, I'm just going to let things chill and figure out what to do with all this free time I have, because college is so full of things to do and I haven't really taken advantage of any of them. I guess in the end whatever happens is what God planned to happen, and I really can't argue with that.