(no subject)

[johndeeregal]

*sigh* Today was another hard day with the whole passing on of Cody thing again. They had a banner up during lunch that says "We love you Cody" and then people went and signed it. There was also a guy walkin around with a shirt that people were signing and they were going to give it to the parents. I'm not really a person to cry...I mean, I do, but I hate to cry. I hate it. For one I feel like a wimp if I do, which i know its not really wimpy if you cry, but I still feel that way. I hate people seeing me cry most of all. Whenever I've cried, Id try to hide my face with my hair, especially from my parents. Another thing I dont like people to do is try to help me if I get hurt. I remember once my two cousins were on my trampoline jumping, and something fell under it and so I told them to stop so I could get it. They did but once I was under it Matt thought it'd be funny to scare me and he pretty much jumped on my head. It hurt. He tried to apologize and give me a hug but I was so angry and I shoved him and ran away. Im just weird like that. I remember another time at a softball practice i hurt myself and this girl was just trying to help and I snapped at her to leave my alone. I felt bad and said sorry later though. I'm independent at heart but sometimes I can be a dependent person, if Im shy about doing something. If you asked my mom if I was independent even when I was younger, she'd tell you of how I entertained myself everyday with Barbies, and my imaginary friend Jaime (lol. and its not pronounced jay-mee, it was pronounced Jay-m, no "e" sound at the end. weird I know. oh yeah, and she died of a broken arom), and days Id spend playing in the creek and imagining little scenarios each time. This whole thing of people dying right now has really made me appreciate the life that I have so far. Ive been blessed with a loving family, great friends, and Im happy to live in a place where I can feel safe, and that I have all the things I need. A good home, food on the table, clothes, and all that sort of stuff.
Adios for now
~Laurel

"How can I help you to say goodbye?
Its ok to hurt,
And its ok to cry,
Come let my hold you and I will try...
How can I help you to say goodbye?