And so it continues
got alot bottled up so figured the old blog was the place to let some of it out.
-The job search is in full swing now. I have two career counselors and an academic advisor helping me out. Im confident i will graduate in december and have a job in january. I do have some doubts, but for the most part i feel i can get it set up.
-The house is working out nicely thus far. I do have a big room which could have made some of my roommates create plots to kill me, but i guess thats only fair. I like my room and our neighborhood, so its a nice fit. Besides, i get to eat Dave's chips and Lauren's cheese dip..at will...mwuhahaha!
and now for the release part . . .
- I have started to have my first true doubts about something i thought i was sure about. Maybe it's a phase, maybe two people are not supposed to always be in love. I dont know...i honestly thought i had this whole relationship thing figured out. The one thing i do know is that iv started to become depressed more and more...and that is something that hasnt happened to me in a long time. I actually started to believe i wouldnt be down anymore since i had fixed alot of the negative things in my life.
I just hate that i have no females in my life to connect with. It's lame and unfair to have ended up this way. There's Amanda, who has been a nice source of conversation since we now share the same house, but thats about it. Telana moved away and any other females i considered friends have grown to be different. Persuing new female friends always opens that door of misinturpreting someones actions. Why cant a male and a female just sit down together at night, be close, stay warm and just watch a movie. No kissing, sex or the like, just a nice night close to someone you like to be around. It is now fair that i cant have this experience.
Even worse is i have zero people to talk to about my life. My grandmother has never stopped being there for me and the same goes for Lloyd, but i just feel the need to talk to people. Thats who i am. I talk and i listen and it helps me to feel whole.
I guess in the end ill just continue to blast my music and hope my stomach finds a new sensation. It is possible that no one is ever truly happy, but they just settle and settle until it feels above average to be who you are. Who knows...surely not me.
-The job search is in full swing now. I have two career counselors and an academic advisor helping me out. Im confident i will graduate in december and have a job in january. I do have some doubts, but for the most part i feel i can get it set up.
-The house is working out nicely thus far. I do have a big room which could have made some of my roommates create plots to kill me, but i guess thats only fair. I like my room and our neighborhood, so its a nice fit. Besides, i get to eat Dave's chips and Lauren's cheese dip..at will...mwuhahaha!
and now for the release part . . .
- I have started to have my first true doubts about something i thought i was sure about. Maybe it's a phase, maybe two people are not supposed to always be in love. I dont know...i honestly thought i had this whole relationship thing figured out. The one thing i do know is that iv started to become depressed more and more...and that is something that hasnt happened to me in a long time. I actually started to believe i wouldnt be down anymore since i had fixed alot of the negative things in my life.
I just hate that i have no females in my life to connect with. It's lame and unfair to have ended up this way. There's Amanda, who has been a nice source of conversation since we now share the same house, but thats about it. Telana moved away and any other females i considered friends have grown to be different. Persuing new female friends always opens that door of misinturpreting someones actions. Why cant a male and a female just sit down together at night, be close, stay warm and just watch a movie. No kissing, sex or the like, just a nice night close to someone you like to be around. It is now fair that i cant have this experience.
Even worse is i have zero people to talk to about my life. My grandmother has never stopped being there for me and the same goes for Lloyd, but i just feel the need to talk to people. Thats who i am. I talk and i listen and it helps me to feel whole.
I guess in the end ill just continue to blast my music and hope my stomach finds a new sensation. It is possible that no one is ever truly happy, but they just settle and settle until it feels above average to be who you are. Who knows...surely not me.