So Frustrating.
Last night (early this morning) I realized a few things as I ate my McDonald's breakfast food. I wonder why some people remain so closed. I hate when I want to tell someone something . . . give them an OUTSIDE perspective . . . and all they do is get angry because "they already know what you're talking about". I just think that EVERYONE needs an outside perspective, and I hate when a certain few decide to get offended by my attempt to enlighten.
Now, don't get me wrong here. I don't do this because I know all and because I am the all-omnipotent. That's not it. If I was God I sure as hell wouldn't be in this hell-hole Portales. I just want to help people out. Show them what they can't see. One of the philosophies I live by is always allowing others to express their opinions of me, because it gives me so many outlooks on ME. We are all FAR FAR FAR from understanding ourselves. If you think you've got it all figured out . . . YOU'RE WRONG.
I just want people to be more open . . . that's all. Stop taking offense to my willingness to help. I get this overwhelming feeling that I cannot express enough my experiences to other people. I see people going down the same road I was once on . . . and I want to tell them what to look out for . . . however, certain few seem to get angry and pretend they know exactly what I'm talking about. Sweetheart, you don't. I can see right through the façade.
I guess I just hope that when people say they "want everyone to wake up every morning and choose to be happy" . . . they should probably apply this to themselves before they make such offensive comments. When I can't seem to have a normal conversation with them because they're being too critical or getting too frustrated, I just wanna give them a Valium. Calm the fuck down. You've only got one life to live, and if you plan on living it so nervously all the time, you are missing out. Don't beat around the bush . . . don't lead me on.
I know, I can't make people change . . . I'm not trying to make that happen. I wish people would listen more; utilize what they have in front of them. Recently I've sort of used this to understand who my friends really are. If they seem to not care about what I have to say, then they probably don't care about me as much as I may have once thought. I'm not necessarily implying they DON'T care, but they treat me that way . . . so what else am I supposed to believe? This is what happens when people judge, and judge, and judge, and judge . . . and fail COMPLETELY to look at themselves.
Man, I have been so patient about this. Maybe it's time for some action. You guys all know I don't like to sit on the sidelines and watch people walk all over me. I don't know . . . maybe (just maybe) a miracle will occur, and they'll realize their faults, like I've realized mine . . . and they'll see that if I have ever judged someone, it's because I have had no other choice. It's that "outside perspective" coming into play. BUT, like always, I'm betting the silence will remain, and no fault will be realized. Some people are just THAT subborn.
P.S. I know life is unfair, but we don't need to have the outlook that it is ALWAYS going to be that way. Have we lost all HOPE?