Maybe it thinks I'm a dog or something... I don't know.
This is for the people who have begged me for it.
But this isn't for me.
This is the brilliance of... joining stuff.
This is the color of Pee.
Byron is sort of MicMac, when he wants to be.
He's going to get free schooling and there's nothing I can do about it.
MAYBE... I can go to a college... and POSE as BYRON...
And maybe they'll let me in. I need to grow a moustache and then shave it.
Kirby smells like a pap smear.
Caydi's asshole is a brass orchestra.
Casper is, as someone put it once, "Fucked".
Seymoure screaming for love. Mcbean eating the food from my plate...
Joey sucking as usual. AS ALWAYS and FOREVER.
No. Don't even bother asking.
AND KAraoke Twist and shout.
Oh, the beez Neez, I suppose.
Ynyway, Yime Yo Yet Yo Yt.
(You're the bumble in my bee...wipe my ass.)
FIRST:
The hilarity of KELC/JOEC combined...
Me: I loved the bathroom.
Kelc: OHH ME TOO- MY FAVORITE ROOM IN THE HISTORY OF ROOMS
Me: I don't know... I like mine too. But the bathroom has secrets.
The bathroom has been INTIMATE with everyone you love!!
Kelc: Hey, you look like a man... and I'm a heterosexual so that's hot.
Me: I guess in an odd, my chin is large and my hair is not long or short kind of way, I'm flattered/willing to eat a flapjack
Kelc: ahahaha I was just kidding... it's a pick up line.
Kelc: (Seen a ghost and took picture)
Me: ....*bawls moronically... cries a little... smells it a little... gags... tastes... gags...cries...hides....
dances with it in an assortment of dances that I won't list...
sychronized-swims with it... Attends a barmitzva with it...
uses the bathroom...it walks in by accident and it's awkward
and it leaves early and I go home and listen to Kenny G and
scream myself to sleep... it moves away... we trade numbers
that neither of us will ever use... and it ends.*
Me: LISTEN HERE, kelc- you have wildhoney
I am NOT willing to sacrifice the undying feelings I have for svud.
Svud- listen. I CAN make semi-good paper airplanes.
Besides- someone loving me back has never stopped me LOL
It's a little thing called ducktape and rohypnol.
Kelc: MICHELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............
BUT I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED HER.
..............GRRR. AGHH.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHH..
FINE. WE WILL MAKE THIS A CONTEST THEN.
Svud??? remember when i made the svud appreciation thread??
i didn't know svud's name, age, or gender, but i still loved her.
Me: SVUD- I SMELLED YOU A LITTLE!!!!!!!!
QUOTE It´s not the same. She needs a woman.
SHHHHHHHH! I'm not supposed to know the SEX of SVUD!
AND SVUD- I GAVE YOU A PET NAME!!!
LITTLEFOOT...
(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
Kelc: I really enjoyed your spelling in that last post, wild.
Nice skin...can I try it on?
Me: HAHAHAHHA You're right. your cheating HEART!
Um... aaaaaaaaanyway.
I'm willing to give a used Avon lip balm that should smell like
hot cocoa but it kind of smells like... moss.
AND this rag I use for my computer.
AAAAAAAAAAND- E.T. MAYbe.
Kelc: ohhh i posted twice.
now i have to fill up this space with rice puddles....
WHY DID I JUST SAID THAT:????? RICE PUDDLES/???? I MEANT TO SAY 'WORDS'!!!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAH whoaaaaaaa.............
SVUD (POKES) I CAN'T SEEM TO TURN YOU ON!
MAYBE I'LL JUST TURN YOUR KNOBS TO SEE IF I CAN GET A REACTION.
Me: Svud... as someone I nEVER watch one said, resistance is futile.
Listen here. I have two sheets of (expired) coupons from assorted fast food restaurants,
and I am NOT afraid of splurging.
Kelc: hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........
i give up. you can have svud.
but i want you.
now THERE is a love triangle for you all.
Kelc: POOL PARTY. MY HOUSE.
8 O' CLOCK (nevermind that...its NOW)
MIKE TURUDO'S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POOL PARTY! COOL POOL PARTY!
KILLER COOL POOL PARTY!
SUPER KILLER, POOL PARTY...DUDE!
YEAH!!!!! IT WAS KILLER!
PARTY, BRO!...party?
Me: HOLY FUCKITTY HUCK BOOT.
A DAMN POOL PARTY.
I NEVER, EVER. EVER EXPECTED THIS.
EVER.WHOA!!
*Hops in, wearing a snowsuit, sags down into the water*
little...little help, here...
Kelc: *dives in with my diving skillz....i totally got to the highest level in
swimming lessons at the YMCA!!.....and pulls you out....
performs the Heimlich and then realizes that was the wrong thing to do...................
....................... ...................... ..................... .....................*
Me: Alright. Who SH!T in the POOL.
Assholes...
*attempts to get away from the renagade excretion*
*tosses wink at kelc... looks across pool... sees dinaosaur...
he winks...gets in the pool...takes off his pants...*
DINO:....
:Why did I do that.
ME: Holy @#$%. It's talking.
Serendipty: That'c copyright infringement. Haul your ass, bastard.
Nessie: ...@#$%$.
Kelc: cool cannon balls.........throwing candy bar.....
cool.........teasing girls...........
and laughing.....out loud.....
Me: gETS IN, PLUMMETS LIKE A ROCK
I ATE TOO MUCH! MY LEGS ARE OFF!
...who's THAT guy?
...Why does his floaty look like a mouse.
*HUGE BLOW UP DOG ENGULFS MOST OF POOL,
people scrabbling to get to the top, screaming, hitting each other off,
bloodshed as they try to remain on the slippery bastard*
I writhe out, gasping, evading dinosaurs, bloody stumps, and poop*
*approached Kelc, panting*..."Hey... b!tching party!!
Kelc: sputter sputter...........I'M SPUTTERING.
you make me laugh with every post, you know that/????
I LOVE MY POOL PARTY.
I'm choking........i'm choking on my own SPITE!
HAHAHA SO PUNNY.
*places toes in the pool to test the temperature of the water.*
Me: AHAHAHAHA I CAN'T RESIST IT!
SVUD GET IN, GET IN!
*Grabs it*
NEVER MIND DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tHAT OTHER LONG NECK IS EYEING YOU... HE WANTS TO BREED!
No baby making in the pool EVER!
All dressed crispers are soggy on my bathing suit.
My dad screams about sh!t.
*My dad, sees my quivering poodle across the pool*
"I'll knock the SH!t OUT OF YOU!"
This is tattycake palooza!
*Goes ZOOMING off the edge in a wheelchair, tied in*
.....something tells me this was a mediocre idea.
Holy Gwakamoliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
We've got chips!
*Bats wings flap desperately in the water*
Oah, sh!t and peanut butter.
Chair with wheels that FLOATS.
"I understand... now... i'll wipe my genitals."
Svud, control yourself! The pool is NOT a wastebasket.
Super Killer Cool Pool Party.
Party?
*Eats mumops unborn young*
Kelc: SVUD!!!!!!!!!! HO MY GOD>..........I LOVE THAT GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1111!!!!!!!!!11
but don't eat too much before you swim, cuz you might get a cramp under your chin
hahah svud....don't get my pool dirty. I CLEANED IT YESTERDAY!
Me: Svud HATES me.
WONT COME NEAR ME AT THE POOL PARTY!
maybe because I've been hitting children, stealing wheelchairs
and drinking my own urine the majority....maybe...
Kelc: party over for now. its all JoeC's fault...
it's like i'm swimming in chunks of things now. its not fun anymore.
Me: It is NOT.
I was NOT involved in the poop, dinosaurs, OR inflatable dogs.
Only the wheelchair. which...I'm still convieniently strapped in.
MY SVUD THREAD:
SVUD!! THIS IS A DESPERATE CRY FOR ATTENTION FROM YOURS TRULY
FOR A PITY DATE!
0% IRON AND 12% CARBSSSSSSS
I will... WILL!
Be the SWEET N SOUR SAUCE, for your MCNUGGET.
There's no other nugget but Mc now.
As Dan Seals once said (Don't download it)
"Put on your bopping socks baby, roll up your old blue jeans.
There's a band playing down at the armories- I wanna ride in your 55 t-bird
I ain't after your body, something... bop! with you baby,
I wanna bop the night away- I wanna BE BOP!
This...ok...this guy is really, really in need of a few lawsuits.
DOWNLOAD HIM.
But... BOP! SVUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in love... you're a longneck... and you're svud.
Teeth that sparkle and shiiiiiiiiine
It's raining (insertsvud'snamehere) hallelujah (I think)
can't think of a rap songggggggg, ummmmmmmm
I like Svud, hur Kula, move that... budha...
(Never sign on to Murder Inc)
Svud walks wearily down the street with me (unknowingly) in tow
Svud's on the run and I've got the runs
and I'm waiting for the grande show-
are you ready, are you ready for Svud-
are you hanging on the edge of a cliff
Out of the (placethatSvudusuallyfestersand/ordwells) the
(nameofdinosaurthat'sinhericon) roars (thatsiftheyusedtoroar)
to the sounds of the (cleverwordthatrhymeswithcliff)
Something live Svud, should happen to meeeeee
Try saying it fast. Live Svud Live Svud livesvudlivesvudlivesvud...
I'M A BASTARD, IT'S TRUE!
a little sexual frustration...
WHAT am I DOING??
(SVUDCOUGHDATEMECOUGHPLEASE)
We'll go to MACDONALDS!
It's a place to rock. It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat.
it's a good place to listen to the music.
People flock there to get down to the rock music.
(Wesley)
AND WE WILL!
AND THEN WE'LL GO TO MY OLD CHURCH TO WATCH
ACCORDION PLAYER LES ADAMS PLAY, WITH HIS BLACK EYE IN TOW.
YES... HE HAS A BLACK EYE. AND HE'S IN CHURCH.
Two stinky winky.
Good afternoon. I'm... me. Sitting here in my... chair.
Eating... nothing.
This song is the greastest song ever... and if you don't believe me, I don't care.
(OH I'M SUCH A @#$#%)
Gonna find my (randomsvudplughere) gonna grab some afternooon delight...
my motto's always been when it's right,
it's right- while waiting for the middle of a cold dark not-
whennnnnnnn everything's a little clearer in the light of daaaaaaay,
and you know the night is always gonna be there anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
thinking of us working up my appetite, looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
and the thought of loving you (SVUD) is getting so exciting sKYYYYYYYY
ROCKETS IN FLIGHT-
ok what is this song even ABOUT?
DON'T.
Let me know.
Whatever just happened.
We can beat E.T up over it.
Stop laughing.
I don't kid about that sort of thing.
Not E.T.
Oh yeah. Call me.
Svud: ahahahahahahahahahaa
r
o
t
f
l
m
a
o
how could i not love you?
Kelc: flip....
once i get home from my old lady exercise class i am
SO TURNING ON THE CHARM
MICHELLE WATCH OUT.
but goodbye for now.Me: LOL... you don't have to flatter me into it.
Kelx, I'm ready. I'll be waiting with the metaphorical H-bomb.
Boom Boom Boom.
Well there's only 1 boom.
But it's... really big.
And it has a pointy stick sometimes.
Alright now i'm getting in over my head here.
Farewell.
Kelc: Fine, have her.
I give up(for real this time).
But Svud, just remember that I love you forever.
I will miss you.
Me: Pauly Shore is Dead.
TITLE: SEX CHAT!
Me:
...Losers.
Kelc: I caught you a delicious bass.
Etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh.
oh no...I'm all alone in the sex chat....
etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh etoh.
They call me rainbow.......because I reflect light in water.........
why did i just say that to you..........
Me: AHAHAHAHA ALLOOONNNNE
This can be the beginning of a trend for MANY men and women alike.
I'll whip this party up faster than Joey Fatone can make babies in Italy.
...that's not fast at ALL.
I ate beads on a cake expecting them to be candies.
Well guess what. They weren't. They were BEADS.
AND NOW.... AFTER THAT HEAP of Corned beef...
The brilliance of my sister YAYNUS.
Jimminy Legs...and meatballs.
I don't even need to post quotes.
Just look at the fucking....
Email titles from Yaynus:
-Can't you get those JOWELS reduced?
-eyyyyyyyyy, fonzi
-Smells like bigfoots dick
-fuckin' tatty cakes up there...
-let me see you 1-2 step... wait, I mean 1 step... you've only got 1 leg...
-les hod dog...
-a little something for the peasants...
-Poop mouth, poop mouth...
-Clamchops
-I love Les Adams
-Yimmy here...
-Pus Tawk
-tha Y tha I tha B tha B tha A tha T its YIBBBBBAT HOLLLD up
-Throwin' money like Scrooge Mcduck
-Funny, now i'm dating Scrooge McDuck...
-pass the Polysporin... I have a burn.
-The anger sharks are swimming
-RUPP Ryders JARR JARR BINKS
-I wanna be a cowboyyyyys sweethearrrrrrttt...
-You're a real poop mouth Mr. Burgundy!
-Boy george + Casket, = BFFL
-Goose Rape.
-Gammy Num Nums.
-DVD DVD DVD
-Theosaurus
-Doin' the reach around...
-Bilbo Baggins reach around,
-Give the dragon the reach around...
-Uh Uh OHHHHHH- the ducky tuff (to NKOTB The right stuff... I thought
She was just screaming)
-smack my bitch up
-fuckin panty waste, fuckin come off in the wash...
What's so saucy about sirloin?
-My timbit looks like a ballsac.
-Pus Sacksetball
-P UNIT HAAAAAA
-Lets try this diggity again...
-Kirb is the shittiest pet ever in life.
-Brandy... dog chow.
-Pissyfurs' Lament.
-Your crotch smells like the wharf down in Sop's arm.
-Jesus doesn't get late fees at Allan's.
-Michelle+Buck O Hare+Kenny Maher+Emmanuelle Lewis=Soul Mates
-I want to fuck the koolaid guy.
And now, because this fucking world can't take anymore torture than this,
I bring this festering, fresh, dripping sack...(Dead mama's poose)
Of quotes. NO cat fetus sandwiches.
Hot Date, Hot Steak, Hot Lovin.
“Gwen Stefani’s Rich girl? Billy Ballard can do better than that!”
“You dented the cat!”
“What IS that?!” *Ugly caged bear looking desperate*
“Don’t look directly into it!”
*Looks directly into it*
”NO!!”
My mind is so far in the gutter, I need a crane to sky lift it out of there.
I'm like, the ORIGINAL pervert.
If you could get a pervert action figure, it would be me.
Whale shirt and all.
J-Lo had a moustache. There. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“I live in a posh town like you.”
(I die laughing.)
“I was looking in my received files and saw the Eric Clapton song you sent,
I opened it to get a taste…FUCKIN PROZZAK.”
“ahahahaha, ROPED IN FOR ROUND 2!”
“What, the Paris Hilton sex video?”
“No. That’s just a skeleton wrestling with Orlando Bloom.”
This computer is like trying to find Waldo in a septic tank.
Caspers mouth is parted and I don't like it.
When cats do something and then they look stupid because they part their mouth.
Well she's doing it.
alright she stopped..
My life can go back in rotation now.
"If were a male, I’d have an enormous erection right now."
Dan seals looks like he breathes too loud.
That fat guy hit my head because he came down the water
slide too soon after I'd worked up the courage to go...
I hated it from them on. I hated it. Pulling soggy crickets
and pubic hairs off my back. FUCK.
You dung-breathed scraps of undergarments! Your mother was a hamster!
TINA! COME GET SOME HAM! You friggin’ IDIOT…
Gammy Num Nums?
“That’s Picky Dangly Bits and old Crusty Dirt Squirter.”
Cried when someone died: Oh no, I thought it was quite the hoot... Jesus!
“So what are you doing after school!”
“I’ll be at Mary Brown’s- that’s where I work!”
“…FOREVER?!”
“You know Les Adams, plays the accordion down at the church?”
“Did you just say he had a black eye?”
“Byron isn’t Indian tradition! He doesn’t go to fuckin pow wows!”
STOP belittling/patronizing/judging me! *limps off to bedroom*
Shut up. Don't you realize I have a clubfoot? For clubbing?
As in, hitting people and going to clubs? And when I dance the club flys
around like a stray accordion from a fake rock group. So what the fuck out.
People get knocked out faster than from a peaceful toot from Gummy.
Stop parking your toutons all over town. Whore. You are disgusting.
I should punch you. (But not in the presence of your boyfriend
who may or may not end my life).
Celine Dion: womb raider
A maternity ward- all you can eat buffet!
Delicious youth!
Celine Dion catering can turn you're baby shower into a real treat! ..
Well, your baby at least
“Who were you talking about?”
Steve: *spits* “YOU.”
Me: “Oh.” *Carelessly tosses chip at Steve, pelts him between the eyes*
How the fuck did Dagwood get such a tap-easy piece of ass like Blondie.
The Kawasaki is a heap of shit. It’s ’78, for God’s sakes!
Yeah, too bad the bears borrowed it for a joy ride…
Aura of pop’s one yellow tooth.
HAHAHAHA POP HAS A TOOTH!
…half a tooth
Now I can’t eat.
-JoeC.