on swinging
I think it's a bit misleading that myspace has swinger as a category. I don't swing. Meaning I don't go out, with my girl or alone, looking for sex by itself. We did that once and it sucked. We also don't wife swap or anything like that. If we play with a couple or whatever, we prefer to play with all of them (most of the time) at least once. Don't get me wrong, if people want to get their rocks off swinging then that's their business. What consenting adults do is none of my business ;) It's just not my cup of tea.
So what is? well I enjoy dating more than one person or having fun get togethers. I like to go bowling, hang out and watch movies, talk, and be there for oneanother. I don't understand why there are some people that have so much shame around polyamory. They don't practice it but they want to. They can't because they have shame. What is there to be ashamed of? Are we all so narrow minded that we really think they only true form of love is found in the coupling of 2 people? Come on folks. That's the easiest kind of love. That's the kind of love that really feeds your ego.
In polyamory the Issue is often that you have to find another person who is going to get turned on or get pleasure in you sleeping with and dating other people. That's the tricky part. Also, folks need to start thinking outside the box a bit more. These are your rules that you get to make. You don't have to have any particular kind of "open relationship". For amanda and I, we mostly prefer to date another person together. This person has mostly been a woman but we have also been "hanging out" with this guy for a while. Sometimes there may be a person who tickles one of our fancies and not the other. We talk about it and we decide.
Truth is, she is my life partner. She always will be (goddess willing) as long as she wants to be here with me...that is the biggest thing to remember. All people in every kind of relationship you are in (friend, romantic, something inbetween) are there by choice. For us, we are constructing a huge support network for friends and chosen family. Some of it is sexual, a lot of it isn't. Ultimately, we want to find one other person (most likely a woman on the femme side) to bring us closer to this mysterious thing known as "completion". It makes sense to us. In the past, many women have thought we were trying to get a piece of ass out of them..I say if that's all you think you have to offer us then that's your business. Put it out there and we'll decide if we want it. But really, we are looking for a woman to be part of our family. We are looking for someone who wants to be the center of our world and be treated special...hence we are not swingers...
The other thing I've noticed is that swingers tend to be more in hiding about being swingers. I find that poly people are more inclined to be open about it and to be visible when they are with their multiple partners.
So what is? well I enjoy dating more than one person or having fun get togethers. I like to go bowling, hang out and watch movies, talk, and be there for oneanother. I don't understand why there are some people that have so much shame around polyamory. They don't practice it but they want to. They can't because they have shame. What is there to be ashamed of? Are we all so narrow minded that we really think they only true form of love is found in the coupling of 2 people? Come on folks. That's the easiest kind of love. That's the kind of love that really feeds your ego.
In polyamory the Issue is often that you have to find another person who is going to get turned on or get pleasure in you sleeping with and dating other people. That's the tricky part. Also, folks need to start thinking outside the box a bit more. These are your rules that you get to make. You don't have to have any particular kind of "open relationship". For amanda and I, we mostly prefer to date another person together. This person has mostly been a woman but we have also been "hanging out" with this guy for a while. Sometimes there may be a person who tickles one of our fancies and not the other. We talk about it and we decide.
Truth is, she is my life partner. She always will be (goddess willing) as long as she wants to be here with me...that is the biggest thing to remember. All people in every kind of relationship you are in (friend, romantic, something inbetween) are there by choice. For us, we are constructing a huge support network for friends and chosen family. Some of it is sexual, a lot of it isn't. Ultimately, we want to find one other person (most likely a woman on the femme side) to bring us closer to this mysterious thing known as "completion". It makes sense to us. In the past, many women have thought we were trying to get a piece of ass out of them..I say if that's all you think you have to offer us then that's your business. Put it out there and we'll decide if we want it. But really, we are looking for a woman to be part of our family. We are looking for someone who wants to be the center of our world and be treated special...hence we are not swingers...
The other thing I've noticed is that swingers tend to be more in hiding about being swingers. I find that poly people are more inclined to be open about it and to be visible when they are with their multiple partners.