Some thoughts on confidence
What's this plague of self doubt I've been running into lately? Maybe it's always been here and I never noticed because I too was a victim of it. Maybe it's new, a product of over media input suggesting to people that we're the only ones out there that doesn't have life, love, and everything all figured out. We're not pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, or interesting enough to get what we want. Well guess what. I've discovered the truth and it's all bullshit. There's nothing wrong with any of us, or at least not any worse than every other person you know. Trust me, I was insecure as anyone, probably more so. Yeah I still have my moments too, but by and large I changed my outlook on things and by changing my perceptions I actually changed my reality as well(ok, it's an ongoing change but it's already made a HUGE difference).
I'm seeing it in men and women, younger and older, accomplished and just starting out. I've talked at length with single guy friends who have pretty much convinced themselves that they aren't going to meet anyone for them. The sad truth is too, that with that outlook it's a self fullfilling prophecy. The more you let self doubt eat at you, the more true it becomes. On the other hand, it works in reverse too. The more convinced you are of your own abilities, charisma, attractiveness, or whatever, the more true it becomes. Confidence is probably the biggest aphrodisiac there is.
It's true in all avenues of life. If you go into a job inteview believeing you won't get the job, you'll project that and they'll believe it. If you go in knowing how perfect you are, you'll give that off too and that will work for you. People respond as much (and probably much more) to your non verbal cues than anything else.
I'm actually fairly dumbfounded when I hear a young, attractive, intelligent and interesting young woman doubt her own worth. And the weird thing is I'm hearing it from a lot of women. I know sweet, smart, interesting, funny, (and I suppose probably attractive) guys having the same problems. Hey, I'm certainly not without my many faults and flaws, occassional lack of confidence among them, but it's almost epidemic out there.
I've got a ways to go myself, but I swear to everyone, change your outlook and your reality will change too. The mind is extremely powerful, and it can make whatever you believe come true for you. The more you feel like you won't get what you want, the more that will come true. Be true to your own ideals, push asside and ignore self defeating doubts, and you'll be amazed at how much things can change.
I hope this doesn't come off as preachy, as it's certainly not meant that way. I just see so much insecurity holding people back sometimes that I just needed to say something in an open forum.
I'm seeing it in men and women, younger and older, accomplished and just starting out. I've talked at length with single guy friends who have pretty much convinced themselves that they aren't going to meet anyone for them. The sad truth is too, that with that outlook it's a self fullfilling prophecy. The more you let self doubt eat at you, the more true it becomes. On the other hand, it works in reverse too. The more convinced you are of your own abilities, charisma, attractiveness, or whatever, the more true it becomes. Confidence is probably the biggest aphrodisiac there is.
It's true in all avenues of life. If you go into a job inteview believeing you won't get the job, you'll project that and they'll believe it. If you go in knowing how perfect you are, you'll give that off too and that will work for you. People respond as much (and probably much more) to your non verbal cues than anything else.
I'm actually fairly dumbfounded when I hear a young, attractive, intelligent and interesting young woman doubt her own worth. And the weird thing is I'm hearing it from a lot of women. I know sweet, smart, interesting, funny, (and I suppose probably attractive) guys having the same problems. Hey, I'm certainly not without my many faults and flaws, occassional lack of confidence among them, but it's almost epidemic out there.
I've got a ways to go myself, but I swear to everyone, change your outlook and your reality will change too. The mind is extremely powerful, and it can make whatever you believe come true for you. The more you feel like you won't get what you want, the more that will come true. Be true to your own ideals, push asside and ignore self defeating doubts, and you'll be amazed at how much things can change.
I hope this doesn't come off as preachy, as it's certainly not meant that way. I just see so much insecurity holding people back sometimes that I just needed to say something in an open forum.