More Pairings....
1) Rubeus Hagrid/Argus Filch
snippet from a fanfic depicting the amorous pair
Rubeus: Yer so skilled at whatcha do, Argus! *The couple roll in the grass outside of the Groundskeeper's hut* Tell me, ya got anythin' I can do fer ya, of if you won anythin' at all jes' say de word!
Argus:MRRRRPH!
Rubeus: Wos' dat?
Argus:Mrrph!
Rubeus: *rolls off of Argus Filch* Wos' dat? You won' somfink?
Argus: *Gasping as he regains his breath* AIR!!!!
2) Lucius Malfoy/Petunia Dursley
snippet from their luurrrve story
Lucius: *pouting haughtily* She left me! After all this time, Narcissa just left me!
Goyle Sr: Keep your pecker up mate, I got this magical device from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!
Lucius: *sneers* You've patronised that blood-traitor's whelps' shop?
Goyle Sr: Just listen ol' chap. This device is a powerful summoner, it can reverse portkey your true love right to where you set the device off.
Lucius: *grey eyes brighten* Really? Perhaps it will bring Narcissa back to me?
Goyle Sr: Or it might summon the woman that's ideal for you? Why not give it a go?
Lucius: *seizes the object from Goyle Sr's hand* I believe I will! *He activates the summoner*
Petunia Dursley: *appears in Malfoy's sitting room looking decidedly confused*
Lucius: *who has spent too much of his life courting and admiring pureblooded witches gazes in awe at this exotic looking specimen before him*
Petunia: *drinks in the ethereal vision of this strange looking, pallid man*
(Six months later)
Narcissa: *who is lonely, and doesn't know how to get on on her own returns home.*
Vernon: *even though he despises the magical world, a sympathetic muggle/magical liaison assists him in finding Petunia, and he finds himself standing at the doorway of Malfoy Mansion*
Narcissa: You must be here to see Lucius, come in.
Petunia and Lucius: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
Narcissa and Vernon: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
What do you think?