family

[joe3joe]

Sitting in a generic booth at Casey's yesterday evening with my father and my sister I began to admire the decorations on the wall. There were pictures kids fishing, dogs running and families generally enjoying each other's company. From these pictures I began to feel as if I were in someone's home. That I was getting a glimpse of someone's happy

Comments

[smarties__1]

i've met people that have been together 25 years, and they're happy. happiness is what you create, just like, to me, family is what you create. someone told me once that family is what you make of it and it's not always blood, and this applies if you think of family the way you are when you look at those pictures: people who love you and accept you and who you can always go to and seek refuge, unconditional love and support. and you know what? for a large majority of people, that definition of 'family' is far from who their blood relatives are. i think growing up in houses like you and i grew up in will make us a little wiser not to just pursue things because they fit into the social 'norm', meaning you and i will not rush into a marriage just because we think we're suppose to or that we're getting to 'that time in our lives'. it's not an ultimate goal that determines success, but a choice you make when you find the right person, whoever and whenever that may occur. i think we learn from the mistakes, and we see that, even though from our mothers' perspective, men were the enemy, from ours, if we know what we're doing and who we are, they aren't. this has turned out a lot longer than i thought it was going to be. i think i'm trying to say that we're not fooling ourselves. i know that i'm not getting married for a while, even though i don't see anyone else in my future except dave. i know that the nuclear family, the perfect job and a six figure salary are most likely not in my future, and in all honest, aren't what will make me happy. i'll carve out my happiness along the way and you will too. because we might make the mistakes our parents have, but we'll be smart enough to know what it's going to be like to try to live with them, and act all hostile and blame everyone but yourself and let the situation consume your life. you know you won't raise children like your mother, just like i know won't. there will be good things they did that we'll incorporate, but, for example, my view on parenting doesn't involve moving out when the eldest is 18.
in conclusion to this essay i've written: don't worry. you will find happiness, and it may not look like those pictures on the wall, but those pictures are exactly what everyone sees on the surface of a really screwed up family. in most cases of reality, those are the families that are in the middle of messy divorces, or 'sticking it out for the kids' and making it hell at home. but if your goal is to make those pictures your own, go for it. just understand that things might not turn out that way, but even if they don't and you're still happy beyond belief, that's what really matters. i have no idea what my future will look like, but i know the 'happy family' photos are a nice idea. i just haven't decided if they're my nice idea. either way though, i know i will be happy, and my family will be happy, and i will have people who support me and they might not always be blood, but that doesn't mean a thing to me.

[joe3joe]

thanks, you've reminded me of the ideals that i use to have...and i guess have just forgotten about over the past couple of years

to tell you the truth throughout highschool i never really thought of my family as being a family... and i always thought of well you.. and anyone else that i was close to as being my make shift family.

i wasn't really trying to be sappy and i wasn't bothered about what i was typing before... it was just something that i was thinking about... that i needed to put on paper.
but i definately agree with everything that you just wrote.