family
Sitting in a generic booth at Casey's yesterday evening with my father and my sister I began to admire the decorations on the wall. There were pictures kids fishing, dogs running and families generally enjoying each other's company. From these pictures I began to feel as if I were in someone's home. That I was getting a glimpse of someone's happy life. And I began to realize that when we all look to the future, at marriage and at how we invision our own families this is the picture that we have in our heads. A family that loves each other...of kids who respect their parents. Of a unit that is simply that a complete unit. Where you can go if you are hurt if you need help and someone will care about you.
And then I looked at my own family. My sister quietly eating trying to avoid speaking with my father. My father getting more furious by the minute, insulted that my sister didn't want to tell him her problems and not having the maturity to be the bigger person. And then I began to reflect on my years at home. For as long as I can remember my mother has always hated my father, but then again for as long as I can remember they have been devorced. What's more the single most defining characteristic of my family unit (my sister my mother and myself)was the day-to-day stress and fighting.
All of this made me realize one thing; that we (or at least I'm assuming everyone sees the world this way)we all have this picture of perfection in our minds. Of this perfect family. That we will be able to be happy in our adult lives. We will make the right choices at the right times with the right people and live this life, not without flaws but with at least a concrete family unit that we ourselves will create. And I have to wonder if we are all just fooling ourselves. We are no better then them. We aren't any smarter and we certainly don't have anymore experience then they did. So why do we think that can create what they couldn't? Here is the question that bothers me how many truely happy couples have you ever met? You know the ones that have celebrated their 50th or 60th wedding aniversary? Because I know for myself that I have never met anyone at that age that was still happy.
And then I looked at my own family. My sister quietly eating trying to avoid speaking with my father. My father getting more furious by the minute, insulted that my sister didn't want to tell him her problems and not having the maturity to be the bigger person. And then I began to reflect on my years at home. For as long as I can remember my mother has always hated my father, but then again for as long as I can remember they have been devorced. What's more the single most defining characteristic of my family unit (my sister my mother and myself)was the day-to-day stress and fighting.
All of this made me realize one thing; that we (or at least I'm assuming everyone sees the world this way)we all have this picture of perfection in our minds. Of this perfect family. That we will be able to be happy in our adult lives. We will make the right choices at the right times with the right people and live this life, not without flaws but with at least a concrete family unit that we ourselves will create. And I have to wonder if we are all just fooling ourselves. We are no better then them. We aren't any smarter and we certainly don't have anymore experience then they did. So why do we think that can create what they couldn't? Here is the question that bothers me how many truely happy couples have you ever met? You know the ones that have celebrated their 50th or 60th wedding aniversary? Because I know for myself that I have never met anyone at that age that was still happy.