(no subject)
I've come to realize that maybe me moving out is a good thing...free to come and go as I please...be as lazy and messy as I want and just plain not care...but if one slip up happens I'm totally fucked over cuz my mom told me if I get evected theres no chance in hell I can come home,her exact words were "I don't care if your homeless living on the streets,you are not coming home!!" so I can not mess up at all or I will be living on the streets being like the bums that I kick out of McDonalds..she says it's tough love but to me its just plain cruel to say something like that to your youngest child.I feel like she doesn't love me..sometimes she tells me "Why can't you be more like your sister??" But thats the thing mom I'm nothing like my sister I'm who I am because thats how I wanna be...I don't wanna be like everyone else I wanna be me,not like my sister or like all my friends who you love more then me or the boyfriends who you say I should have kept around just cuz they made me look like a better person.....I'm not gonna be the lawyer or doctor you want me to be or the beauty queen or even the little blond hair,non-tattoed,non-peirced little girl who you took for granted and made me scared to come to you for anything cuz I was a stupid girl who could never do anything right..so from here on in I'm not gonna be what you wanted me to be...I'm gonna be who I wanna be and don't worry come January you won't have to see the girl who let you down in so many ways ever again....GoodBye Mother thanks for nothing!!!