~ The SNAM ~
The SNAM - Sensitve New Age Manager.... a new term I coined... in honour of my boss.
Today I woke up with a migrain and decided to go to work later, then around noon, I thought what the heck, there's no urgent stuff in the office, and been ages since I played hooky and have some ME time.. so I called in sick. Told my colleagues I will not be in today.
The shortly after 1pm, I got a call from my boss, the department manager. A senior guy in his mid forties, who has been with the company for more than a decade. He was the one who interviewed me for this job in this department.
Anyway, over the phone, he went like "So J, heard you are not well.... are you ok? Anything to do with the stocks you got?"
You see, yesterday we all received our bonuses... part cash, part stocks. A substantial sum. To me the $$ part is great, but it is also a performance index of your self-worth in the company, at least to me it is.
So I guess he's worried that I'm unhappy about the amount I got... and wanted to make sure I did not skip work because of this. Haha. I wanted to tell him that I will not resort to such childish gimmick even if I was unhappy with what I got.
And the truth is... based on my own assesment... even though the bonus is 40% more than what I got last year... it is I think... average. Meaning... I have average performace, or rather, to the management, my performance is average. Which to me... is UNACCEPTABLE.
Anyway, I told my manager over the phone that me calling sick today has nothing to do with the bonus, and I tend to have the occasional migraines. But I would love to discuss with him further about my job, especially now that it is the middle of the year, perfect timing to discuss with you boss about his expectations for you for the rest of the year, and also for you to let him know which areas you are keen on.
So... after the call, I smiled to myself. This is what I called a SNAM... so sensitive... thinking I must be unhappy about the bonus since I called in sick the next day. Haha. But I am glad he called. Like all jobs, and in life as well, it is nice to know you matter. I heard a phrase that day, watching re-runs of Pearl Harbour. The British general asked Ben Affleck when he volunteered himself and arrived in Hawaii to join the Allies for the war, if all Americans are like him, eager to get killed. Ben's answer is "No Sir, I'm just eager to matter"
I guess this is what I want in my job and life... I want to MATTER.
ok, gonna enjoy myself at home today... do some laundry, clean up my room, read some trashy mags. Then I need to go for my weekly Nihon-no-go class.
You ladies have a good week.