Apparently, Destiny Hope Cyrus Is What's Wrong With America
For the record, the topic of Miley Cyrus is one I am largely apathetic about, and I accept that the Academy Awards are at least 40% bullshit during any given year; however, I had to repost this MSN article because it is so rare that I find any bit of wisdom in anything written by the mainstream press. It's also refreshing to see an article concerning a starlet that actually aims at making some sort of social point as opposed to either completely slamming or glorifying her person.
Is Miley Cyrus the Next Britney Spears?
By Martha Brockenbrough
MSN Cinemama
Barbara Walters, what were you thinking?
Have you actually seen "Hannah Montana"? I didn't think so. There is otherwise no explanation for including its title character in your annual Oscars special, which gets distinctly less "special" when you feature an actress whose crowning achievement is putting on a blond wig and playing a slightly disguised version of herself on the Disney Channel.
Yes, I get that this show is wildly popular with tweens. I also get that her 3-D movie made $29 million in its opening weekend. That doesn't mean it's good.
Miley Cyrus herself is perfectly adequate. She's cute and personable, and she has a pretty good singing voice, which you'd expect from the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, who appears to have traded in an achy-breaky heart and mullet for a shag, an earring and a weekend acting seminar at his local mall. But fascinating? Only insofar as she is the next most likely teen star to go Britney Spears on us. The 15-year-old has even ripped a page from Britney's handbook, publicly proclaiming her virginity while dressing for a hooker convention. At Sunday's Grammy Awards, she wore so much makeup that even the uber-trashy gossip site of Perez Hilton said she looked like a porn star. You don't have to be a church lady to find this a little yucky.
Even worse than the clothes, though, is all the public talk of virginity. It's like that dream of going to school without pants, in real life -- totally embarrassing. Miley reportedly went to a "purity ball" with her dad. Girls who attend these events pledge their virginity to their fathers, which seems deeply creepy, but maybe that's just because I read "Oedipus Rex" when I was in high school.
The virginity shtick, which is overrated, is also pretty insincere. Either that or it's as confused as a hot dog with frosting. There is one point to dressing sexy: to attract sex partners. Anyone who says otherwise is in a losing argument with Mother Nature.
Still, Miley is certainly not the first preteen idol to have seized the attention of young girls by using shiny objects. That doesn't make her rise to superstardom any less discouraging, though. Let's face it: Teen idols more often than not pay a huge price for their young fame. Spears and Lindsay Lohan are hardly the first to crash and burn. With the notable exception of Donny Osmond, almost every teen idol from my youth ended up in serious trouble. Could those purple socks have possessed magical protective powers? Quick, someone send a pair to Miley.
I was clicking around an online auction site a few days ago when I came across a vintage Teen magazine that would be funny if it weren't so sad. On its cover are Andy Gibb, Leif Garrett, Kristy McNichol and Scott Baio. How did they fare? Gibb is dead, Garrett has a criminal record, McNichol has struggled with mental illness, and Baio, well, he dated Pamela Anderson. (Only his turn as Bob Loblaw on "Arrested Development" redeems him. It takes quite an actor to say "Bob Loblaw's law blog.")
So, when we know the glitzy teens our children idolize are likely to end up in jail, in rehab or in the grave, why on earth do we go to such lengths to make sure they get to watch their "Hannah Montana"? Several newspapers quoted parents who actually let their kids skip school to watch the movie. Other parents have filed a class-action lawsuit alleging that Miley's fan club didn't give them the extra access they needed to get their kids concert tickets.
Parents: Here's a news flash. Your kids should not skip school to see the "Hannah Montana" movie, unless it is one of your goals to teach your kids that they can blow off an important obligation to indulge a petty whim. It might be OK to skip school to see a truly world-class artist perform, or to see a movie that somehow relates to something going on in the classroom, bringing learning to life. Miley Cyrus is neither. She might be someday, but today she is a chicken nugget of a performer. If you ever want your kids to develop taste, you won't let them gorge themselves on nuggets -- even if all the other kids are doing it and your kids swear they'll never eat again if you don't give them what they want.
These teen idols, besides charging $30 for fan-club membership, are doing one thing: They're making our teens and preteens idle. Instead of watching quality movies, reading good books and learning to sing and play instruments on their own, our kids are indulging in the fantasy that their idols are sitting just across the family room. Really, these young stars are sitting on huge piles of money that would be better invested in college savings funds, and squandering irreplaceable time that could be better spent on something smart or, at the very least, on quality entertainment.
It's a safe bet that as long as masses of young kids tune in to mediocre shows like "Hannah Montana," media companies will continue to make them. So it's up to us parents to turn off the TV and give our kids something better.
There might even be a side benefit for all those would-be teen idols: time away from the spotlight until they have the maturity to handle its pressures. Because the only thing sadder than seeing a teenager all sexed up is seeing that same girl 10 years later, all washed up -- sitting in front of Walters weeping about how it all went wrong.
Is Miley Cyrus the Next Britney Spears?
By Martha Brockenbrough
MSN Cinemama
Barbara Walters, what were you thinking?
Have you actually seen "Hannah Montana"? I didn't think so. There is otherwise no explanation for including its title character in your annual Oscars special, which gets distinctly less "special" when you feature an actress whose crowning achievement is putting on a blond wig and playing a slightly disguised version of herself on the Disney Channel.
Yes, I get that this show is wildly popular with tweens. I also get that her 3-D movie made $29 million in its opening weekend. That doesn't mean it's good.
Miley Cyrus herself is perfectly adequate. She's cute and personable, and she has a pretty good singing voice, which you'd expect from the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, who appears to have traded in an achy-breaky heart and mullet for a shag, an earring and a weekend acting seminar at his local mall. But fascinating? Only insofar as she is the next most likely teen star to go Britney Spears on us. The 15-year-old has even ripped a page from Britney's handbook, publicly proclaiming her virginity while dressing for a hooker convention. At Sunday's Grammy Awards, she wore so much makeup that even the uber-trashy gossip site of Perez Hilton said she looked like a porn star. You don't have to be a church lady to find this a little yucky.
Even worse than the clothes, though, is all the public talk of virginity. It's like that dream of going to school without pants, in real life -- totally embarrassing. Miley reportedly went to a "purity ball" with her dad. Girls who attend these events pledge their virginity to their fathers, which seems deeply creepy, but maybe that's just because I read "Oedipus Rex" when I was in high school.
The virginity shtick, which is overrated, is also pretty insincere. Either that or it's as confused as a hot dog with frosting. There is one point to dressing sexy: to attract sex partners. Anyone who says otherwise is in a losing argument with Mother Nature.
Still, Miley is certainly not the first preteen idol to have seized the attention of young girls by using shiny objects. That doesn't make her rise to superstardom any less discouraging, though. Let's face it: Teen idols more often than not pay a huge price for their young fame. Spears and Lindsay Lohan are hardly the first to crash and burn. With the notable exception of Donny Osmond, almost every teen idol from my youth ended up in serious trouble. Could those purple socks have possessed magical protective powers? Quick, someone send a pair to Miley.
I was clicking around an online auction site a few days ago when I came across a vintage Teen magazine that would be funny if it weren't so sad. On its cover are Andy Gibb, Leif Garrett, Kristy McNichol and Scott Baio. How did they fare? Gibb is dead, Garrett has a criminal record, McNichol has struggled with mental illness, and Baio, well, he dated Pamela Anderson. (Only his turn as Bob Loblaw on "Arrested Development" redeems him. It takes quite an actor to say "Bob Loblaw's law blog.")
So, when we know the glitzy teens our children idolize are likely to end up in jail, in rehab or in the grave, why on earth do we go to such lengths to make sure they get to watch their "Hannah Montana"? Several newspapers quoted parents who actually let their kids skip school to watch the movie. Other parents have filed a class-action lawsuit alleging that Miley's fan club didn't give them the extra access they needed to get their kids concert tickets.
Parents: Here's a news flash. Your kids should not skip school to see the "Hannah Montana" movie, unless it is one of your goals to teach your kids that they can blow off an important obligation to indulge a petty whim. It might be OK to skip school to see a truly world-class artist perform, or to see a movie that somehow relates to something going on in the classroom, bringing learning to life. Miley Cyrus is neither. She might be someday, but today she is a chicken nugget of a performer. If you ever want your kids to develop taste, you won't let them gorge themselves on nuggets -- even if all the other kids are doing it and your kids swear they'll never eat again if you don't give them what they want.
These teen idols, besides charging $30 for fan-club membership, are doing one thing: They're making our teens and preteens idle. Instead of watching quality movies, reading good books and learning to sing and play instruments on their own, our kids are indulging in the fantasy that their idols are sitting just across the family room. Really, these young stars are sitting on huge piles of money that would be better invested in college savings funds, and squandering irreplaceable time that could be better spent on something smart or, at the very least, on quality entertainment.
It's a safe bet that as long as masses of young kids tune in to mediocre shows like "Hannah Montana," media companies will continue to make them. So it's up to us parents to turn off the TV and give our kids something better.
There might even be a side benefit for all those would-be teen idols: time away from the spotlight until they have the maturity to handle its pressures. Because the only thing sadder than seeing a teenager all sexed up is seeing that same girl 10 years later, all washed up -- sitting in front of Walters weeping about how it all went wrong.