Grieve 1/1
#005 in my jack/Ianto prompt table "Grieve" as requested by shamazipan
Synopsis - Torchwood have a funeral to attend.
Rating: G (General)
Spoilers: all episodes
Pairing - Jack/Ianto
~~~~*~~~~
The tempestuous London rain pounded against the pavement so much that it defied gravity and bounced back up; it was as though it was raining from two directions. The vicious wind blew, sending the rain sideways, cutting through the cold air like small thin blades. The sky was as dark as the night, and the clouds grey and thunderous; it was typical funeral weather and the black umbrellas and suits matched the mood of the dark day. Tears flowed freely, with the odd sniff as people tried to hold back emotions, and at the back of the crowd of mourners that surrounded the grave, stood three figures dressed in black.
They stood together, lined up against the harsh wind, clinging to one another, holding hands. Two tall men, one dressed in a three piece suit, and the other in an old military coat the billowed in the wind, whilst a woman stood beside them in a knee-length dress suit and black knee-high boots. Torchwood's manpower was severely depleted and they were weak but they carried on; their hearts were bleeding and their tears falling for a man who had already died once.
They watched the mourners, to who they were strangers, and cried for them; the person they were mourning wasn't even the one they were burying. Inside the coffin lay a stranger to them all, a John Doe, half mauled by a Weevil. Owen Harper was gone and no part of him had survived. He had disappeared off the face of the earth, dissolved into nothingness, leaving only memories behind. All his belongings, mementos or anything that could have brought comfort to those who mourned him were locked away in a warehouse in Cardiff with all the others. Another young life reduced to a pile of boxes.
Owen Harper and Toshiko Sato had died saving the world and nobody would ever know; none of the mourners at his funeral, nor hers. The world would never know how they died, even their death certificates read “unknown cause” and maybe that was for the best.
Jack kissed Gwen's head softly, and wiped the raindrops away from her hair; she had no umbrella and she was too numb to feel the cold, but she felt his warm lips on her skin and rested her head on his shoulder. She gripped his hand until it turned her knuckles white and turned her face into the comfort of his woollen coat. She leaned across him and grabbed Ianto's spare hand; it was warm from his pocket and his fingers caressed the skin on her knuckles. She looked over at him and tried to smile, but the tears took her over again and she sobbed into Jack. Someone turned to look at them from the main crowd and gave her a confused look; after all she was a stranger to them.
Ianto stared bravely ahead at the mourners; his eyes were glazed with tears that restricted his view but he wouldn't let them fall, he was stronger than that. He saw no reason to cry; this wasn't the funeral of a friend, this was the burial of someone he didn't even know and the burning behind his eyes and the hard aching lump in his throat were very unwelcome. Owen Harper was gone; his belongings had been archived away and he was no more. He was another life lost, another person Ianto had loved, at least in some form, who had left him. He felt Jack's hand slide from his grasp and wrap around his shoulder, pulling him into his body. His warm lips came into contact with his skin and the young Welshman closed his eyes; a tear rolled down his cheek and he cursed himself on the inside for allowing it.
After the final prayers had been said the mourners began to walk away slowly from the grave; Gwen walked over to the hole in the ground and threw in a pile of dirt before bowing her head.
“It never gets easy to say goodbye.” Ianto looked at Jack and frowned. “But I suppose you know that even better than any of us.”
Jack nodded and wrapped his arms around the Welshman, holding him tightly in the rain. “It gets harder as time goes on. Every time I lose someone I love my heart breaks a little. I can feel the Cracks getting bigger every time, like my heart is slowly dying, turning black and bitter. My heart gets harder with every death.”
“I'm sorry you have to lose so much.”
“It's just life now,” Jack said, “death is life and life, for me, is more painful than death.”
Ianto caressed Jack's cheek with his thumb and kissed his lips softly. “I know it's wrong, but part of me, the selfish part, thanks God every day that you can't die on me.”
Jack smiled a little. “And the selfish part of me wishes you would live forever. When I lose you I'll more than die a little, part of me will die completely.”
A tear rolled down Ianto's cheek and Jack wrapped his arms around him, pulling his coat around the both of them; when Gwen walked back towards him he invited her into the warmth too and he held them. They stood together, clinging to each other in the rain.
Jack Harkness pulled them closer to him; one day they too would be a pile of boxes and another fake funeral, leaving him to face the world alone and fight with another hole in his heart.
~~~~*~~~~
dont forget to leave feedback, i'm still trying to shift my writers block.