Potassium
#009 in my jack/Ianto prompt table "Potassium" as requested by shamazipan. she said she wanted a banana story and she got one.
Synopsis - Ianto wants to replace Jack's daily muffin with somethng a little healthier for his daily dose of potassium, and uses a different method of persuasion.
Rating: B for bananaporn. so R i'd say
Spoilers: none.
Pairing - Jack/Ianto
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The sound of a clattering tea-tray distracted Jack from his mountain of paperwork enough to cause him to look up. He gazed it it; it contained two ham sandwiches, cut neatly into triangles with the crusts so beautifully removed it was as though they had never existed, one cup of strong coffee just the way he liked it, and a bright yellow banana balanced on the side of the plate where his muffin should have been.
“It's lunch.” Ianto closed the office door and took a seat opposite the Captain. “You don't have to look at it like it's an alien artefact.”
Jack pulled it towards him for closer inspection. “Where's my muffin?” he asked “you always bring me a muffin. Chocolate or blueberry, sometimes cranberry . You cut it into sections so that I don't get crumbs all over the office.”
“It's a banana.”Ianto stated obviously.
I can see that, what I can't see, however, is why you would bring me a banana when you should be bringing me a muffin.”
“I was starting to worry that all the muffins you are eating are going to give you, and I apologise for my wording in advance - it was Gwen's phrase, not mine - a bit of a muffin top”
Jack panicked and lifted up his shirt a little; he touched his stomach, and although it could hardly be described as a 'muffin top' it was certainly more like a rising cup-cake than a flat bread. He frowned. “I can't believe you think I'm fat!”
“No.” Ianto approached Jack slowly, pointing his finger as though he was accusing Jack of something. “No, no. I never sad you were fat.” He sat on the corner of the desk and dangled his legs. “But know how proud you are about your body and I did notice the smallest possibility of a little plumpness in the abdomen area that you would be unhappy about. So I thought maybe you could cut out your muffins and replace them with a daily banana instead. That way it should satisfy your sweet tooth at the same time as being filling and a good additional to your daily diet.”
Jack huffed and looked at the banana, holding it up for closer inspection. “Why a banana?”
“I thought you might enjoy the humour of it's phallic appearance.”
“It's yellow, the last time I had my mouth around something phallic and yellow we ended on very bad terms and I had an infection that caused my genitalia to turn a disgusting shade of turquoise for six years. It wasn't pretty.”
Ianto twisted his face as though someone had shown him a picture of his naked grandmother shagging a donkey. “Did I need to know that?” he asked. “Did I really need to know that?”
Jack smiled. “No. But, I just thought it would creep ya out.”
“And it did.”
“Then I win, and I'm happy.”
“I' sure you are.”
“I ain't eating the banana Ianto.” Jack said. “I'd settle for a muffin flavoured with banana, or a banana shaped like a muffin, but no way am I giving it up.”
“They're a very good source of potassium,” Ianto explained, “it regulates the heartbeat, keeps your body's water balance in check and sends vital oxygen to your brain.”
Jack took a sip of his coffee. “Yes, but muffins are yummy.”
“So are bananas!”
“No. No, they're not. Not as yummy as a muffin.”
“I love bananas! They're sweet soft and come in their very own natural bio-degradable packaging. They're good for you and the planet.”
“Whoopdie-doo.”
“Plus they're very cool, did you never see bananaman?”
Jack smirked. “Was he a porn star in the seventies? Because I think I may have dated--” Ianto gave him a disgusted look that silenced him instantly. “That's a no then.”
The Welshman decided to take a different approach. “Did you know that bananas are good for a number of things including but not limited to, tackling depression, anaemia, heartburn, hangovers, nervous disposition, stress management, stroke prevention and warts.”
“You're not going to win this one.” Jack looked at the Banana, then at Ianto. “But don't throw it away. I' sure we could have some fun wit it later.”He smirked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
“That's wrong for so many reasons.” He sighed. “Fine. You win. I'll get your muffin.” Ianto took the banana and out it in his trouser pocket before starting to walk away. He paused half-way then turned around. “Although, there was one thing that I didn't tell you about the wonderful world of the banana.” Ianto moved towards the desk.
“Is it as interesting as all the others because I can barely contain my excitement about the wonderful world of the banana any more?”
Ianto unfastened his tie and removed his jacket, placing it over a chair. His fingers released three of his shirt buttons from their holes, allowing a little chest hair to be seen. “Banana's are a very good source of energy,” he said, walking around the back of the older man's char. “If you're tired, or exhausted even, from activities that use a lot of energy they can perk you right back up again.”
Jack raised and eyebrow and turned the chair to face him. He was suddenly interested. “Oh really now?”
“Yes.” The Welshman slid Jack's braces off his shoulders and unfastened his shirt a little. “You may even have enough energy to do it all over again.” He lowered his lips to Jack's neck and sucked on the rough skin just above his collarbone.
“Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Jack felt something hard underneath his hand and felt the Welshman's lips curve into a smile.
“Actually, that is a banana.” Ianto took the object out of his pocket. “But I am still very happy to see you.”
Jack pulled him closer and unfastened his trousers, slipping his fingers inside. He smiled. “So you are. Where did I send Gwen again?”
“You gave her the afternoon off, pending any world-destroying emergencies, to go house-hunting with Rhys.”
“The whole afternoon?” Jack wrapped his fingers around Ianto's stiffening cock and gave it a little stroke. “How many bananas would you need to get you through a full afternoon?”
“Me?” Ianto asked. “None. But you would need to eat at least one.” He pulled back and held the banana up for him to see, and started to peel it slowly; he held the cream-coloured flesh of the fruit to the captains lips.
Jack looked up at the Welshman with a sly smile. “I can't believe you're trying to seduce me with a banana.”
“Does it work?”
“Just let me clarify this; if I eat this banana to your satisfaction I get to have hot horny office sex with you?”
“Yes. More than once.”
“And what do you get out of it?”
Ianto kissed Jack's lips softly. “The piece of mind that you're eating a well-balanced diet. Sometimes I just want to look after you like you look after me.”
Their lips met again, and this time Jack pulled the Welshman closer by the back of his neck, starting to move his other hand over his cock, building a slow rhythm. He watched Ianto's hand as he tried not to squeeze the banana; his long slender fingers overlapped tightened and then released again when he felt the fruit start to slide away from the skin a little.
“I'll eat the banana.”
“Eat it quick.” Ianto groaned a little as Jack increased the rhythm.
Jack took the banana from out the skin and held it to his lips darting his tongue out a little to taste it before covering the tip with his mouth ad sliding it all the way down to his fingers, then back again; he took a small nibble, barely even scraping the surface of the soft fruit that rested on his moist lips. He shot the Welshman a wicked smile, then closed his eyes and let his lips slide back down to his fingers; his tongue trailed back up the length to the tip and he took another bite that barely took half an inch from the length.
Ianto grabbed the backrest of Jack's chair and dug his fingers into the leather without removing his gaze from the Captain; he slid his mouth up and down the length of the fruit with the same rhythm of his hand. He was making no attempt to eat the banana, and instead chose to suck it and lock eyes with the Welshman; he was giving him the eyefuck of his life, and giving the banana the treatment that his cock should have been getting.
Jack moved his lips to the cut-off tip of the banana and took a slow sensual bite, then smoothed the marks left by his teeth with his tongue, mirroring the way his thumb was rubbing the Welshman inside his trousers.
“Would you and your banana like to be left alone?” Ianto asked, groaning as Jack's hand increased its pace. “You seem to be enjoying it a little too much.”
Jack took a slightly larger bite of he banana and winked. “But it's yummy,” he said, his mouth filled with the soft fruit, “I'm getting my potassium fix for the day.”
“Well if you don't hurry up and eat it, that banana will be the only thing you'll get your lips on for the rest of the day.”
Jack took a large bite and withdrew his lips. “Is this turning you on Ianto?” He didn't wait for an answer, and instead returned his lips to the banana, shoving the length of into his mouth and devouring the flesh. He chewed it and swallowed it down, then licked the length of his fingers. Jack grabbed the Welshman by his shirt, gripping a fistful of material between his fingers, and pulled him down for a kiss. He kissed him hard, parting his lips with his tongue; both of his hands yanked down the younger man's trousers and underwear until he heard the thud as is belt buckle hit the floor.
“You're always more interesting than a banana,” Jack said, sliding off the chair and dropping to his knees in front of the young Welshman; he gripped his hips with his hands and looked up. “I'd rather eat you any day.”
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don't forget feedback. This was an experiment to unclog my writers blocked brain. I've not written for so long and need some encourangement to get writing again.