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[jncoskid420]

well, ive been talking to chris all night, and its amazing what comfort can come from him. i miss you so bad. i want you. i want you back. i dont care how. i wont try or fight for it, but its what i want. "You will always be my comparrison to anyone, always that one boy." i dont want to be the comparison, i want to be the one. if you must compare

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[jncoskid420]

chris just went to bed. im at his dads. i am so lonely. the sky was beautiful tonight. i laid out in the middle of his courtyard beside his pool and looked up just wondering if you saw the same thing that i did. i dont know if i can sleep tonight. i feel the sleeplessness coming on. insomnia. i cant sleep with so much going through me. so much thought. i feel like a child in a way, i dont know what to think, i dont know what to say, i just need direction. i want to be hurt. i feel it is better to be hurt and heal than to not have any of it and think that everything is perfect. there are two things that i know are perfect. two different senses of perfect though. they are god and you. you know who you are. im glad you have found someone. im sad that it isnt me, but im glad you are happy. im not happy. i havent been. ive been in a good mood many times, but happiness has left my life. i want to talk to you. i want to see you. i want to hold you. i want to know you, but right now you are a stranger. i cant believe all i have said tonight.