(Untitled)

[jncoskid420]

i just got back from florida yesterday. what fun. why is it that five or six girls still cant fill the void. i dont get it. dont get me wrong, its great, but im missing something. i dont ever feel right. it makes me wonder a few things but then i hit the delete button. the only problem is that its like pop-ups on a computer. it keeps comming back

Comments

My Only and First Love

[squeek_squeeky]

Worth fighting for! Jody I love you so much. You are the most wonderful person I have ever met. Words mean nothing, I guess you can be right about that. I never wanted you to be more then you are. You can't be more then you are because you are everything, well to me you are everything. I cannot describe how I feel for you in less then 1,000,000 words. I gave up it was time to give it up, I refused to keep hurting you I felt that you should get on with your life and leave me behind, I could not make you happy. So many people though they could do better and I was undeserving and I began to believe it. We are so different, I watched us grow apart.... the day you poped yourself in the face with the bow I really saw it. You stopped looking at me like you use to..... It did not feel like we were in love anymore... I was in love and so were you but we were not together in love... or thats how I felt Why do you think so low of yourself, you are perfect. Jody Thomas Brookshire.... why do you haunt me... I cannot get you out of my mind or my dreams you are in eveything I feel see and touch. I miss you so much.. when Justin told me you had been sick I though of nothing else.... I wanted to come and kiss you and hold you... you went back to Julie... that broke my heart I don't know why.... I think that would be like me and Brad. I miss you and I see you everywhere driving and sitting and it makes it worse.... Ican never have an honest relationship with you in my head...
I don't know what else to say.. but if you ever want to find me you have my cell number.
Love Colleen

Re: My Only and First Love

[jncoskid420]

well, i didnt "go back" to julie, it just came up and we dated for a bit but that was it. if i am everything why does it add up to nothing? if i am perfect why do i have so many flaws? you were the one that i changed for. thats what got julie pissed off at me is the fact that i wouldnt change. i dont care though. i said what was on my mind, she took it to her advantage and turned my words on me and now i dont call her. she might call me but i dont care. ive got as many girls as i want but im empty, i get whatever whenever, but i have nothing. so tell me, how does what you said line up? that made me worse. i dont even know who wrote what, who said what to who, all i know is my life fell apart and i went off the deep end, so now i live with it. thats enough for now. w/b

Re: My Only and First Love

[squeek_squeeky]

I went to Mulberry Park yesterday for breakfast, I have been there so many times with so many friends but as I walked towards the playground area all I could think of was you. I thought about how we met and the different things we have done together, and what we have gone through. I though about are real first date, the one in February, Prom, when I messed up your shoulder on your birthday, bowling, are first kiss.. my first real one. I can't even take a bath without missing you. No matter who I am with or who I care for you are always the one.

How does what I say line up?... You are what you believe you are I guess you don't see what I do. I see you as everything I see you as amazing I see you as wonderful and perfect, why change I love the way you are...smoke drink do whatever. I was a moron yes, I know and I bitched and bitched about it I know and I am sorry. Then I went and started smoking and drinking again. Yes, I know I am an idiot and a hypocrite I know. I quit smoking again though because my dad...dose that make it any better no, would I still be smoking if my dad wasn't sick yes I would.

You have 10o flaws you say but are perfect in my eyes...every single flaw I love, what you see as failure I see as perfection. You have a good head on your shoulders and heart in your chest you are smart handsome a hard worker and funny. What flaws Jody what are they tell me... I can't see any flaws because to me it is perfection, I am repetitive yes. What are your flaws???

I saw you yesterday as you most likely already know, I did not say hello or hug you, I am not sure if that was a good idea or not but I am sorry if it offended you.

Why do you see yourself as nothing! WHYYYY I don't understand, you say you life has fallen to pieces, Jody you are only 17 years old! Here is life right in front of you take it. You have so much time for everything you life is not over till your dead and that will be 100 years from now. You can have whatever you want whenever you want it and a new girl for each day you say. So what, thats not making you happy so fuck all of it, you don't need 20 chicks focus on you before you care for anyone.

I love you Jody I want you to be happy, and if I could I would be the person who would do it. Lies Lies forget whatever you say if you think it isn't true. You are the only other human on this earth (other then ashlee) that I have ever given a rats ass if they wake up tomorrow. Know that you are perfect and you are not scum and not worthless and you are the most amazing and the most wonderful person in the world. You are not flawless to the world like you are to me because everyone one trips up once in a while and thats OK to make mistakes. Remember that you have everything ahead of you and that you are everything.