(no subject)
one phost/ontos down... one to go. gah. this evening was a veritable
roller coaster of emotions for me. firstly, i just about lost it when sylva got hurt during the game. God is good, and answers prayer... she pulled a muscle but nothing extremely extremely serious... praise GOD.
we discussed desires during the lesson. i semi participated, but more importantly i thought about it. what do i desire?
***
the happiness of others. even at my expense... not sure how godly that one is.
i desire wisdom from, and intimacy with, my Creator.
i desire , with all my heart... to help others experience God through worship... and to be in awe of my Savior.
to show others, especially younger girls, how much they are loved. how precious they are to God.
***
it's so hard right now, chickens. in my inmost being, God is telling me that He's got big things in store, that everything's going to work out, and that this will be the summer of a lifetime... but every other part of me is SO scared. like you wouldn't believe. i'm LEAVING phos/ontos and.. everything... until august. everyone (though you won't mean to) will forget about me and then i'll randomly show up and ya'll'll (new word?) be like... woah. way to come back. i'm missing ministry week. probably senior night. leaving the comfort of Family and Friends to new and possibly lonely territory.
i'm going to try my best to keep in contact with those i love... i'm off saturday mornings to sunday afternoons... every week. so. we'll do something. don't fret. and if you're ben rains... well, you know you've got 2 47-4 18 the second saturday in june.... lol. i'm just kidding ;)
i don't know if i'm spiritually ready to serve. i've been struggling a lot with a consistent qt... and there's so much going on between now and the 29th. like you wouldn't believe... gah.
a list of things i need to prepare for/finish, you ask? why certainly!
* spectrum day * open house preparations * spec * aby convention * studying for/passing lifeguard recert * shakespeare show * misc school stuff * finals * passing physics and precal * 3 paintings for the groce family * guitar project for p/o * preparing for camp * meeting with reed to jam before camp * kings island * getting graduation presents for everyone * going to other open houses * talent show * girls night * internship * finishing scholarships * choir rehearsals * getting tap shoes * possible fnt this friday * soccer senior thing at the same time as the choir senior thing *
and that's just the stuff that i remember...
my only comfort is that God's in control. otherwise i would be a goner. hardcore.
.l.o.v.e.m.e.
we discussed desires during the lesson. i semi participated, but more importantly i thought about it. what do i desire?
***
the happiness of others. even at my expense... not sure how godly that one is.
i desire wisdom from, and intimacy with, my Creator.
i desire , with all my heart... to help others experience God through worship... and to be in awe of my Savior.
to show others, especially younger girls, how much they are loved. how precious they are to God.
***
it's so hard right now, chickens. in my inmost being, God is telling me that He's got big things in store, that everything's going to work out, and that this will be the summer of a lifetime... but every other part of me is SO scared. like you wouldn't believe. i'm LEAVING phos/ontos and.. everything... until august. everyone (though you won't mean to) will forget about me and then i'll randomly show up and ya'll'll (new word?) be like... woah. way to come back. i'm missing ministry week. probably senior night. leaving the comfort of Family and Friends to new and possibly lonely territory.
i'm going to try my best to keep in contact with those i love... i'm off saturday mornings to sunday afternoons... every week. so. we'll do something. don't fret. and if you're ben rains... well, you know you've got 2 47-4 18 the second saturday in june.... lol. i'm just kidding ;)
i don't know if i'm spiritually ready to serve. i've been struggling a lot with a consistent qt... and there's so much going on between now and the 29th. like you wouldn't believe... gah.
a list of things i need to prepare for/finish, you ask? why certainly!
* spectrum day * open house preparations * spec * aby convention * studying for/passing lifeguard recert * shakespeare show * misc school stuff * finals * passing physics and precal * 3 paintings for the groce family * guitar project for p/o * preparing for camp * meeting with reed to jam before camp * kings island * getting graduation presents for everyone * going to other open houses * talent show * girls night * internship * finishing scholarships * choir rehearsals * getting tap shoes * possible fnt this friday * soccer senior thing at the same time as the choir senior thing *
and that's just the stuff that i remember...
my only comfort is that God's in control. otherwise i would be a goner. hardcore.
.l.o.v.e.m.e.