Review #3- The Lovely Bones
Book 3 in 100+ Challenge
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
Pages: 328 (paperback)
Genre: General fiction
This is without a doubt the worst book I have ever read. Each sentence left me in pain, it was impossible to keep reading. I literally had to read the book a paragraph at a time, with long breaks in between readings. It was that bad.
What bugged me the most was that the story was too flower-y, too purple. There were so many metaphors used that simply did not make sense, such as “Her pupils dilated, pulsing in and out like small, ferocious olives.” Now, have no idea what ferocious olives look like, nor do I understand how her pupils could have pulsated without her having some sort of medical issue. Surely that isn't right. And this novel is filled with phrases like that.
I can understand it that people like it because it's somewhat artsy. Some aspects of Sebold's writing was interesting, but mainly, the failed metaphors just made me cringe.
Another thing that annoyed me was how the author would mention one idea in paragraph one, then in paragraph two through to seven, talk about something only slightly relevant to the first paragraph, then go back to whatever the hell she was talking about in the first paragraph. It was hard to keep up with everything, it was all over the place and quite messy, to be honest.
Finally, what I hated the most was the storyline. I hate it. HATE HATE HATE. Major spoilers here, so don't read on if you want to be surprised:
Susie posesses the body of her lesbian friend so that she could have a night of wild passion with a boy that she kissed eight years ago, when she was still alive. Instead of doing something productive, like you know, maybe telling him where her body was, which would help heaps with the case and ease her family's pain and suffering. It seemed like a very horrible resolution, to have a girl who was raped and killed use her friend to have sex with a guy she had a single kiss with. I don't know, I see that as rape towards the lesbian friend.
It really makes no sense.
And the entire novel is filled with plotholes that just don't make any sense. Like, when her father realises that Mr Harvey killed Susie. He just has a hunch. No evidence, nothing. Just a hunch. And from that, he is so certain. Just ARGHHHH. I hate it.
I literally wanted to burn this book. Reading through it was the most painful experience ever. I'd rather read the Twilight series. And that's saying a lot. Maybe I'm just really bitchy because it's 5:30 am, and I can't go to sleep because in a few hours I'm meeting the boyfriend for Valentine's Day. :/
Cover: 2
Plot: 0
Characters: 2
Writing: 0 (If I could give negative ratings, I would)
Level of Interest: 1
Total Rating: 1/5
Next book: East by Edith Pattou
Now onto life: I got a new phone. It's a Nokia E63. It's quite an upgrade from my Sony Ericson W901i, although, I miss my old phone so much. I feel like I've lost an old friend.
Oh, and my pet bunny, Humbert Humbert (yes, I did name him after a fictional pedophile :/) died a few days ago. I miss it quite a lot. It was so cuddly and cute and adorable. :(
And onto writing news: Started writing on RUBY RED again. Thinking about maybe putting it onto Fictionpress. What do you guys think? I'm not sure if it's somthing I'd think about publishing. I mean, it is my baby, and it means lots to me, but it's not quite as serious as I'd hope for one of my publishable novels. I don't know. Help?
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
Pages: 328 (paperback)
Genre: General fiction
This is without a doubt the worst book I have ever read. Each sentence left me in pain, it was impossible to keep reading. I literally had to read the book a paragraph at a time, with long breaks in between readings. It was that bad.
What bugged me the most was that the story was too flower-y, too purple. There were so many metaphors used that simply did not make sense, such as “Her pupils dilated, pulsing in and out like small, ferocious olives.” Now, have no idea what ferocious olives look like, nor do I understand how her pupils could have pulsated without her having some sort of medical issue. Surely that isn't right. And this novel is filled with phrases like that.
I can understand it that people like it because it's somewhat artsy. Some aspects of Sebold's writing was interesting, but mainly, the failed metaphors just made me cringe.
Another thing that annoyed me was how the author would mention one idea in paragraph one, then in paragraph two through to seven, talk about something only slightly relevant to the first paragraph, then go back to whatever the hell she was talking about in the first paragraph. It was hard to keep up with everything, it was all over the place and quite messy, to be honest.
Finally, what I hated the most was the storyline. I hate it. HATE HATE HATE. Major spoilers here, so don't read on if you want to be surprised:
Susie posesses the body of her lesbian friend so that she could have a night of wild passion with a boy that she kissed eight years ago, when she was still alive. Instead of doing something productive, like you know, maybe telling him where her body was, which would help heaps with the case and ease her family's pain and suffering. It seemed like a very horrible resolution, to have a girl who was raped and killed use her friend to have sex with a guy she had a single kiss with. I don't know, I see that as rape towards the lesbian friend.
It really makes no sense.
And the entire novel is filled with plotholes that just don't make any sense. Like, when her father realises that Mr Harvey killed Susie. He just has a hunch. No evidence, nothing. Just a hunch. And from that, he is so certain. Just ARGHHHH. I hate it.
I literally wanted to burn this book. Reading through it was the most painful experience ever. I'd rather read the Twilight series. And that's saying a lot. Maybe I'm just really bitchy because it's 5:30 am, and I can't go to sleep because in a few hours I'm meeting the boyfriend for Valentine's Day. :/
Cover: 2
Plot: 0
Characters: 2
Writing: 0 (If I could give negative ratings, I would)
Level of Interest: 1
Total Rating: 1/5
Next book: East by Edith Pattou
Now onto life: I got a new phone. It's a Nokia E63. It's quite an upgrade from my Sony Ericson W901i, although, I miss my old phone so much. I feel like I've lost an old friend.
Oh, and my pet bunny, Humbert Humbert (yes, I did name him after a fictional pedophile :/) died a few days ago. I miss it quite a lot. It was so cuddly and cute and adorable. :(
And onto writing news: Started writing on RUBY RED again. Thinking about maybe putting it onto Fictionpress. What do you guys think? I'm not sure if it's somthing I'd think about publishing. I mean, it is my baby, and it means lots to me, but it's not quite as serious as I'd hope for one of my publishable novels. I don't know. Help?