my dad
Tonight is my first entry.. this is a place where i plan to vent everything that happens in my life that I cant tell people or telling one of my friends doesnt prove anything has happened.. or document what is fcked up in my life
So this weekend my sisters and I spent the entire weekend with my dad at his ski house and from the moment that we left my moms house to come up here, everything was fcked up.. my older sister bugged out because her car is small and she ddnt think that we would be able to fit everything we needed into the car.. i figured we would figure something out in the long run (something I always assume) and she flipped because there wasnt going to be enough room.. we ended up finding enough space and everything was good..
..then my sisters left today after skiing.. we went skiing today and yesterday even tho the conditions are wicked shitty because of global warming but whatever to that.. my dad brought up some event that happened between him and my mom earlier on in their life and of course a fight broke out..
.. as always.. he always talks shit about my mom and tonight he talked shit about problems that happened between them like many years ago and when i payed no attention (like I normally do) he got all pissed and brought up the subject again (he brought up when my mom tried to put him in jail when we were little for whatever reason).. we started talking about the three boys from Duke that are facing rape charges from a stripper and how your life can turn upside from bullshit charges that you would never expect and ddnt commit so he brings up a moment from when we were little and some event that happened between him and my mom (their relationship is more fcked up than anything that i have ever experienced).. I ddnt pay attention to what he was saying and that pissed him off enough to march upstairs away from me and his girlfriend and her friend.. an event that happened between him and my mother during the divorce which is something he brought up infront of company that he should not have ever said
.. the conversation (after he left) left me and his girlfriend and her random friend that I just met yesterday talking about everything that has happened between my father and me and my sisters.. of course there was crying and heavy drinking after this and Im soo bummed that this happened this weekend because I dont spend a lot of time with my dad and when I do I would like to spend the time with just him and not listen to him shit talking about my mom.. I love them both now and everything that happened in the past, in my mind, is in the past, and it is nothing to bring up now a days and for some reason my dad always finds a reason to bring it up at the worst times possible
So let me say a few things about my dads girlfriend to give some perspective.. she seems like a really nice person (especially because he always dates drunk idiots that make his alcoholism even worse than it always is) and while she drinks a good amount, she drinks less than he does and she def does care alot about him however he needs way more than a gf that cares about him.. one of my first big experiences with her was in the islands of saint marteen with my best friend in the world.. he got wasted and pissed at me and when I wouldnt agree with him he threatened me that CSS was not in the islands to take me away from him if he beat me and when I told him to fck off he pushed my best friend out of the way and started to choke me -- I had to kick him in the balls to get him off of me because I could not breathe and his gf watched all this which is why I did not respect her..
..however this evening after he bugged out about my mom and whatever happened way back when, his gf and I had a long conversation and I told her that I was depressed (something HUGE that I had not told my dad yet) and we talked about everything that has happened between me and him since I was little.. how he use to hit me and my sisters, and how he use to treat us like shit and everything that happened with the cops when we were little (we use to have to walk to the end of the street and meet up with him and a cop because there was a restraining order against him), how we all hate that he talks shit about my mom because she doesnt say shit about him, he makes us feel guilty everytime we are with him and thats why we dont like to hang out with him, he drinks too much and we know that and we know that he hangs out with people that drink the way he does..
..we talked about a lot more but it feels really good to put all that on paper.. my dad is such a big part in why I am soo unhappy and why everything is fcked up in my life and my sisters but Im goign to go drive drunk and pick someone up so Ill talk later
So this weekend my sisters and I spent the entire weekend with my dad at his ski house and from the moment that we left my moms house to come up here, everything was fcked up.. my older sister bugged out because her car is small and she ddnt think that we would be able to fit everything we needed into the car.. i figured we would figure something out in the long run (something I always assume) and she flipped because there wasnt going to be enough room.. we ended up finding enough space and everything was good..
..then my sisters left today after skiing.. we went skiing today and yesterday even tho the conditions are wicked shitty because of global warming but whatever to that.. my dad brought up some event that happened between him and my mom earlier on in their life and of course a fight broke out..
.. as always.. he always talks shit about my mom and tonight he talked shit about problems that happened between them like many years ago and when i payed no attention (like I normally do) he got all pissed and brought up the subject again (he brought up when my mom tried to put him in jail when we were little for whatever reason).. we started talking about the three boys from Duke that are facing rape charges from a stripper and how your life can turn upside from bullshit charges that you would never expect and ddnt commit so he brings up a moment from when we were little and some event that happened between him and my mom (their relationship is more fcked up than anything that i have ever experienced).. I ddnt pay attention to what he was saying and that pissed him off enough to march upstairs away from me and his girlfriend and her friend.. an event that happened between him and my mother during the divorce which is something he brought up infront of company that he should not have ever said
.. the conversation (after he left) left me and his girlfriend and her random friend that I just met yesterday talking about everything that has happened between my father and me and my sisters.. of course there was crying and heavy drinking after this and Im soo bummed that this happened this weekend because I dont spend a lot of time with my dad and when I do I would like to spend the time with just him and not listen to him shit talking about my mom.. I love them both now and everything that happened in the past, in my mind, is in the past, and it is nothing to bring up now a days and for some reason my dad always finds a reason to bring it up at the worst times possible
So let me say a few things about my dads girlfriend to give some perspective.. she seems like a really nice person (especially because he always dates drunk idiots that make his alcoholism even worse than it always is) and while she drinks a good amount, she drinks less than he does and she def does care alot about him however he needs way more than a gf that cares about him.. one of my first big experiences with her was in the islands of saint marteen with my best friend in the world.. he got wasted and pissed at me and when I wouldnt agree with him he threatened me that CSS was not in the islands to take me away from him if he beat me and when I told him to fck off he pushed my best friend out of the way and started to choke me -- I had to kick him in the balls to get him off of me because I could not breathe and his gf watched all this which is why I did not respect her..
..however this evening after he bugged out about my mom and whatever happened way back when, his gf and I had a long conversation and I told her that I was depressed (something HUGE that I had not told my dad yet) and we talked about everything that has happened between me and him since I was little.. how he use to hit me and my sisters, and how he use to treat us like shit and everything that happened with the cops when we were little (we use to have to walk to the end of the street and meet up with him and a cop because there was a restraining order against him), how we all hate that he talks shit about my mom because she doesnt say shit about him, he makes us feel guilty everytime we are with him and thats why we dont like to hang out with him, he drinks too much and we know that and we know that he hangs out with people that drink the way he does..
..we talked about a lot more but it feels really good to put all that on paper.. my dad is such a big part in why I am soo unhappy and why everything is fcked up in my life and my sisters but Im goign to go drive drunk and pick someone up so Ill talk later