(no subject)
Well, I guess ya'll might as well know. I broke the news to the father figure Tim and I are serious about buying a house in the not-too-distant-future. I was in the middle of cleaning my room (which was a mess, btw) and I decided to bite the bullet. I went downstairs, where they were eating, and fixed myself a Jack and coke. After all, I always do open up a bit better when there's some alcohol in my system.
Anyway, Mom did some business in the potty (hehe...) and I told Pop to come upstairs after she went to bed so I could talk to him. He came up about five minutes later. I basically told him flat out what the plans were and how far we had gotten. To my utter shock, he didn't pitch a fit or tell me not to under any circumstances. What he said was:
1-he would be happy to look at and give his opinion on the house we picked out to see if we missed anything.
2-he wanted to start breaking Mom into the idea and for me not to say anything to her until he said so.
3-that I would need to buy the car, obviously, before this happened. I informed him I could do that right now and be perfectly okay.
4-that I needed to find a book about mortgages in the library and see what the max monthly payment we could swing was.
5-that he thought it would be better if one of us were to buy the house and the other rent. I explained we had thought of that but we both thought neither of us could get the house right now.
6-he didn't think moving in with Tim was a good idea. He didn't specify why, but Lisa just said they said basically the same thing at brunch last week.
7-he also strongly suggested we get an attorney to draft some sort of contract.
8-he said he sees this going as follows: I stop going to school to get a second job and never go back. He also said he knows I want to be the boss and do things my way, so I should open my own accounting firm.
I guess the question I have is this (and it's prolly very inconsequential): why would everyone but the two of us think getting a house is a bad idea?
Lisa didn't give any reasons as to why they said it. I know we're not always going to get along. I know I'm gonna do stuff to piss him off and he's gonna do stuff to piss me off. But in all the years we've been friends, I don't think...no, I know...we've never had a bad argument, yelled at each other or been utterly pissed off at the other. We're gonna have a lot to work out, like who does what, our schedules and everything else. But we both want it to work.
I don't think they find Tim to be an irresponsible person; he's already said he admired Tim for doing what he does and what he wants to do. I think part of it is the inevitable pain of letting go and not being able to "protect" me anymore. I also think the other part is the continuing doubt what our "relationship" is. I know they asked when I came out, I think, if we were going out. But I would have thought by now everyone would have gotten two messages loud and clear: first, Tim's not gay; and second, Tim is so totally not my type.
Now that I've heard that, it's throwing this whole thing into doubt in my head. What if they see something I don't? What if they know something I don't? What then?
See, this is exactly what's held me back from doing all sorts of things. Teeny tiny comments that make me doubt where I want to go, leading me not to do what I want.
I think I need to go to sleep now because I'm just feeling incredibly exhausted. Maybe this will all sort itself out tomorrow, in the bright light of day.
Anyway, Mom did some business in the potty (hehe...) and I told Pop to come upstairs after she went to bed so I could talk to him. He came up about five minutes later. I basically told him flat out what the plans were and how far we had gotten. To my utter shock, he didn't pitch a fit or tell me not to under any circumstances. What he said was:
1-he would be happy to look at and give his opinion on the house we picked out to see if we missed anything.
2-he wanted to start breaking Mom into the idea and for me not to say anything to her until he said so.
3-that I would need to buy the car, obviously, before this happened. I informed him I could do that right now and be perfectly okay.
4-that I needed to find a book about mortgages in the library and see what the max monthly payment we could swing was.
5-that he thought it would be better if one of us were to buy the house and the other rent. I explained we had thought of that but we both thought neither of us could get the house right now.
6-he didn't think moving in with Tim was a good idea. He didn't specify why, but Lisa just said they said basically the same thing at brunch last week.
7-he also strongly suggested we get an attorney to draft some sort of contract.
8-he said he sees this going as follows: I stop going to school to get a second job and never go back. He also said he knows I want to be the boss and do things my way, so I should open my own accounting firm.
I guess the question I have is this (and it's prolly very inconsequential): why would everyone but the two of us think getting a house is a bad idea?
Lisa didn't give any reasons as to why they said it. I know we're not always going to get along. I know I'm gonna do stuff to piss him off and he's gonna do stuff to piss me off. But in all the years we've been friends, I don't think...no, I know...we've never had a bad argument, yelled at each other or been utterly pissed off at the other. We're gonna have a lot to work out, like who does what, our schedules and everything else. But we both want it to work.
I don't think they find Tim to be an irresponsible person; he's already said he admired Tim for doing what he does and what he wants to do. I think part of it is the inevitable pain of letting go and not being able to "protect" me anymore. I also think the other part is the continuing doubt what our "relationship" is. I know they asked when I came out, I think, if we were going out. But I would have thought by now everyone would have gotten two messages loud and clear: first, Tim's not gay; and second, Tim is so totally not my type.
Now that I've heard that, it's throwing this whole thing into doubt in my head. What if they see something I don't? What if they know something I don't? What then?
See, this is exactly what's held me back from doing all sorts of things. Teeny tiny comments that make me doubt where I want to go, leading me not to do what I want.
I think I need to go to sleep now because I'm just feeling incredibly exhausted. Maybe this will all sort itself out tomorrow, in the bright light of day.