(no subject)
For the first time in a long time, I feel as if my life is starting to fall into place, kinda like the puzzle pieces in Tetris. One connects to another, which interlocks with others, to form lines and foundations, studiness and support. I think we all know I'm not a gutsy or ballsy person to begin with. Up until recently, I wouldn't be caught dead at a movie by myself. I wouldn't have bought some of the clothes I recently have either. I wouldn't have started to weed out the movie collection, or severely cut back spending on just about everything except essentials. I need a good kick in the ass to start things and get motivated. Which is why it's prolly a really good idea Tim and I are knee deep in house hunting right now. Because I simply wouldn't have started it by myself.
It's not that I don't want a place of my own; it's high fucking time it happened. I just wouldn't know where to start; I'd be telling myself I couldn't handle it by myself; I'd be scared of change; I'd be afraid of being alone or being totally stressed out over house issues. I'd rather be safe and comfortable over being in a new situation with new people. (Which, PS, prolly explains why I'm still single, right?)
I don't grab life by the balls, pardon the expression. I let life do its thing and I do mine. I simply can't do that anymore. If I want something and it's attainable, I have to go for it, even if I fall flat on my face and look like a total fool. It's happened before; I'm sure it will happen again. I can't be scared of meeting new people, doing new things or trying something different. Sure, there's always the chance of it blowing up in my face, but that's a chance I'm going to have to get used to taking. I'm talking, of course, about "good" chances...the ones where you can't get physically harmed.
This house is a perfect example. This could very easily blow up in our faces. But with the other to keep each of us in check (not to mention Kaitlyn), I think it's going to be okay. We're going to have our problems, undoubtedly, but in long run I think we're going to learn a lot about ourselves and each other. We're going to see how far we can stretch (again, no pun intended) without breaking. It's going to be an adventure.
This is going to be the year everything changed.
It's not that I don't want a place of my own; it's high fucking time it happened. I just wouldn't know where to start; I'd be telling myself I couldn't handle it by myself; I'd be scared of change; I'd be afraid of being alone or being totally stressed out over house issues. I'd rather be safe and comfortable over being in a new situation with new people. (Which, PS, prolly explains why I'm still single, right?)
I don't grab life by the balls, pardon the expression. I let life do its thing and I do mine. I simply can't do that anymore. If I want something and it's attainable, I have to go for it, even if I fall flat on my face and look like a total fool. It's happened before; I'm sure it will happen again. I can't be scared of meeting new people, doing new things or trying something different. Sure, there's always the chance of it blowing up in my face, but that's a chance I'm going to have to get used to taking. I'm talking, of course, about "good" chances...the ones where you can't get physically harmed.
This house is a perfect example. This could very easily blow up in our faces. But with the other to keep each of us in check (not to mention Kaitlyn), I think it's going to be okay. We're going to have our problems, undoubtedly, but in long run I think we're going to learn a lot about ourselves and each other. We're going to see how far we can stretch (again, no pun intended) without breaking. It's going to be an adventure.
This is going to be the year everything changed.