(no subject)
I think I'm going to go postal on someone's ass sometime very very fucking soon. I don't think I've been this stressed in quite a while. And the last time I got this bad, I was in a completely different situation.
Ya know, I feel like Tea Leoni and Maximillian Schell at the end of Deep Impact. They know they're facing this incredible tidal wave they can't possibly escape or live through. They see it coming down on them and there's nothing that can stop it. Take that emotion...that feeling...when they look at it for the last time and that's how I feel. It's like something is coming at me full force and while I'm doing everything I can to tread water, everytime I get three inches higher, another 10 gallons of water gets dumped on me.
(I'm even playing the "other people have it a lot worse" cd right now...)
I don't think I'm pissed off at all; I just don't know if I can get out from under all the collective shit that keeps piling up. To start with, Tim and I went to look at houses Sunday. We had a pretty good deal-$1,000 a month, four bedroom-until we took a look at the fucking hole. Honest to fucking god, I would never ever sleep there, let alone live there. You couldn't get me to if you paid me a million dollars. We all have certain standards and what you're used to has a lot to do with them. But...oh my god...this place belongs in Detroit, not in Rochester Hills. Holes in the walls, chunks of floor missing, one bathroom (for four bedrooms! ONE!)...ugh.
Which is fine. FF to last night and we talk about this all again. Remember how the orignal plan was an apartment in July? Well, then we morphed into the two of us renting a house in July. Then it merged into renting a house with two other people-which is perfectly fine-in July. Going on, the next step was (note the past tense) renting a house with two other people in May. Finally, we're now at buying a house in May-with one other roommate. Which of course is causing a little anxiety on this end on how to even bring the entire conversation up with the parents.
Backtracking, Brandy decides it's a great idea for yet another client reshuffle, causing Adam and I to lose most of our old plans. Which is fine, but she also wants all payroll files we get to be opened, parsed and saved on the network immediately. I'm sorry, but the easiest way for me to remember what I have and have not allocated yet is to see what's still in my e-mail. Then we come up with the brilliant idea we need to be on schedules on our non-5 pm days. Lucky me, I took the 8-4:15 option. So now I'm getting up roughly a half hour earlier than I did last week.
I know this sounds like absolutely nothing, but when one of the two is always in your thoughts, it's kinda pointless. When I'm not working on allocating 18 (yes, 18) different contributions, or working on 30 distribution packages, or starting the 6 loans and god knows how many other distributions I have...let's not forget about "keeping up on filing" or being collectively bitched out for sending negative vibes to the network computer, causing it to crash. Everytime I get one fucking thing out of the way, I inherit 8 other projects.
Yes, I am totally stressed right now.
Ya know, I feel like Tea Leoni and Maximillian Schell at the end of Deep Impact. They know they're facing this incredible tidal wave they can't possibly escape or live through. They see it coming down on them and there's nothing that can stop it. Take that emotion...that feeling...when they look at it for the last time and that's how I feel. It's like something is coming at me full force and while I'm doing everything I can to tread water, everytime I get three inches higher, another 10 gallons of water gets dumped on me.
(I'm even playing the "other people have it a lot worse" cd right now...)
I don't think I'm pissed off at all; I just don't know if I can get out from under all the collective shit that keeps piling up. To start with, Tim and I went to look at houses Sunday. We had a pretty good deal-$1,000 a month, four bedroom-until we took a look at the fucking hole. Honest to fucking god, I would never ever sleep there, let alone live there. You couldn't get me to if you paid me a million dollars. We all have certain standards and what you're used to has a lot to do with them. But...oh my god...this place belongs in Detroit, not in Rochester Hills. Holes in the walls, chunks of floor missing, one bathroom (for four bedrooms! ONE!)...ugh.
Which is fine. FF to last night and we talk about this all again. Remember how the orignal plan was an apartment in July? Well, then we morphed into the two of us renting a house in July. Then it merged into renting a house with two other people-which is perfectly fine-in July. Going on, the next step was (note the past tense) renting a house with two other people in May. Finally, we're now at buying a house in May-with one other roommate. Which of course is causing a little anxiety on this end on how to even bring the entire conversation up with the parents.
Backtracking, Brandy decides it's a great idea for yet another client reshuffle, causing Adam and I to lose most of our old plans. Which is fine, but she also wants all payroll files we get to be opened, parsed and saved on the network immediately. I'm sorry, but the easiest way for me to remember what I have and have not allocated yet is to see what's still in my e-mail. Then we come up with the brilliant idea we need to be on schedules on our non-5 pm days. Lucky me, I took the 8-4:15 option. So now I'm getting up roughly a half hour earlier than I did last week.
I know this sounds like absolutely nothing, but when one of the two is always in your thoughts, it's kinda pointless. When I'm not working on allocating 18 (yes, 18) different contributions, or working on 30 distribution packages, or starting the 6 loans and god knows how many other distributions I have...let's not forget about "keeping up on filing" or being collectively bitched out for sending negative vibes to the network computer, causing it to crash. Everytime I get one fucking thing out of the way, I inherit 8 other projects.
Yes, I am totally stressed right now.