Fic: Holding you close (Hanbin/Jinhwan)
Title: Holding you close
Fandom: TEAM B
Pairing: B.I/Jinhwan (Bjin/Binhwan)
Genre: fluff, angst
something i wrote for my friend's bday hehe but yas
"Hyung, please."
"No."
"I didn't mean a word I said. I take it all back-"
"Just leave me alone, Hanbin."
Hanbin swallows his saliva, regret washing over him. He sits on the floor in front of Jinhwan's door, determined to apologize to the older. Hanbin knows he's a total wreck. He's a mess. He can't control himself, he can't manage his stress and he has a bad temper. The members should've known better to not believe anything he says whenever he's fuming mad. He was spitting profanity after profanity, criticism after criticism. He was pissed off and fucking lethargic. All he ever wanted to do was to perform. So, when donghyuk couldn't get his choreography right, he screamed at him on the top of his lungs, face burning, veins protruding. The said boy looked like he was about to cry, lips trembling with fear. Jinhwan defended Donghyuk, which immediately averted Hanbin's attention from donghyuk to jinhwan. That was when Hanbin's mouth had a mind of its own, his lips spewing words full of hate, words full of diss and words that were false. He didn't mean anything he said. He didn't mean to hurt Jinhwan so bad, the older boy ran out of the room sobbing, leaving the other boys glaring holes into his soul. Bobby clucked his tongue in disapproval, saying, "Damn, good luck with that."
"Someone's not gonna sleep well tonight." Junhwe supplies, fixing the cap on his head.
"It's not even his fault, hanbin. What is your problem?" Yunhyeong adds. The other boys sigh, slowly making their way out of the room.
Hanbin has always resembled spurting lava. Seething with passion, teeming with enthusiasm, always determined and ready to give in his all. Always sure. Always ready.
And that always made him seem a little scary.
Jinhwan was like the winter sea. Cold but oddly comforting. His presence, discreet but noticeable. But with every note he sings, his voice soaks into your skin, all warm and soothing. You'll never know what kind of thoughts are in his mind. He'd rather keep his thoughts to himself but if he feels that there's a need to put in his two cents worth, he puts them in. He speaks only when he has to speak and shows only what he has to show.
And maybe that's the reason why Hanbin finds him beautiful.
While Hanbin was black, Jinhwan was white. They contrasted heavily but they fit just like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
"Hyung, please let me in." Hanbin tries again, standing up and knocking on the door rapidly. His knuckles are really going to bleed at this rate.
"Hanbin!"
Hanbin hears a familiar whisper and turns to see Yunhyeong holding a bunch of keys in his hand. The boy passes him the keys and Hanbin mouths a thank you in return. Yunhyeong simply shrugs it off and wishes him good luck.
Now, if only he could find the key to Jinhwan's room. There were at least 12 different keys and Hanbin vaguely reminds himself to label them the next time as he inserts the first key into the key hole. Nope, not this one. He tries the second one and it doesn't fit either. But at the third one, the door opens, not because of the key. But because Jinhwan had opened the door. Hanbin tumbles into Jinhwan's room, the older obviously taken aback as well.
"Yah, what were you trying to do?" Jinhwan mumbles and Hanbin notices his puffy red eyes and the tear streaks on his cheeks.
"Baby, please. Let me explain myself." Hanbin cups the older's beautiful face with his palms, resting his forehead against the top of Jinhwan's head, because Jinhwan was simply too short for him to lean their foreheads together.
"You don't have to. It's just another outburst. You don't mean a thing. I get it. It's okay." Jinhwan murmurs against Hanbin's shirt, and god does hanbin feel guilty.
"Hyung, it's not okay. It was never okay. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry. I love you." Hanbin mutters quietly, pressing his lips on Jinhwan's forehead before pulling back to wipe his tears. Jinhwan sniffles, nodding in reply.
"I forgive you, Hanbin." Jinhwan gives him a small smile but it was all jagged around the edges and Hanbin knows he's not okay. Hanbin knew something else was bothering him.
"Babe, tell me. What's hurting you? It's not only me right?" Hanbin tilts Jinhwan's chin up with his thumb and forefinger, looking at his boyfriend right in the eye and the older shies away from his intent gaze. Jinhwan takes Hanbin's hand, holding it instead, clasping it firmly and entangling their fingers together. Hanbin's heart was ramming against his chest because Jinhwan always made him feel like this. Light-headed, dizzy and all too giddy.
"When you called me... Useless just now." Jinhwan's pauses a bit, his eyes brimming with tears again. Hanbin winces visibly, feeling like a complete douche, cursing himself inwardly. He quickly kisses away a lone tear that escapes from Jinhwan's eyes and a small smile graces the older's lips.
"It reminded me of what my parents used to say about me wanting to become an idol and yeah you know. They still don't want me to do this"
"Fuck hyung, I'm so so so sorry. You know how I get-"
"I know, Hanbin. Trust me, I do. Its not your fault really, usually I won't break like this but yeah that just reminded me of them."
"Hyung, I know you've heard this a lot and all. But I'm just going to say this again okay? You are extremely talented. I've seen you climb your way up from the bottom. I've seen you do your thing. I've seen you do a lot of wonderful things with that voice of yours. With your voice and your dreams, you'll not only change the way your parents think baby. You'll change the world. You'll change their lives. Just like how you've changed all of ours. Just like how you've changed mine." Hanbin pours his heart out, tears prickling his eyes, threatening to fall any minute but Hanbin holds it all in. Well at least until Jinhwan closes the distance between them, balled fists tugging at his shirt. As tears roll down his cheeks, Hanbin licks his lips before leaning in to kiss his boyfriend. The kiss was sweet and somewhat meaningful. Jinhwan felt safe in Hanbin's warm embrace. He felt wanted and most importantly he felt loved.
"Hyung, I love you. I want to fight the biggest and smallest battles with you. I want to be there for you until the very end. And I know I don't treat you like a princess all the time but I just want you to know that... You're always on my mind and in my heart." Hanbin mumbles, thumbing Jinhwan's tears away.
"That was cheesy as fuck, Kim Hanbin." Jinhwan chuckles lightly, punching Hanbin's chest playfully before wiping Hanbin's tears away too. The younger scowls, coaxing another laugh from Jinhwan who can't take him seriously when he's acting cute.
"I love you baby." Hanbin laughs, kissing Jinhwan's cheek playfully. The older grimaces at the nick name, hitting him in the arm.
"Stop calling me that. I'm older than you." Hanbin sticks out his tongue, wrapping his arms around Jinhwan, effectively suffocating him.
"Baby. My baby." Hanbin repeats again, this time swaying their bodies from side to side.
"You cheese ball." Jinhwan's voice was muffled by the material of Hanbin's shirt and the younger reluctantly lets go of him.
"You love me though. Right?" Hanbin playfully pinches Jinhwan's nose and the older swats his arm away, laughing gleefully and Hanbin wishes he could see him smile like this all the time.
"I do. So much."
And Hanbin's grin almost splits his face in half.
Almost.
-
"You tell them."
"No, you do it."
"Jesus, Hanbin just fucking tell them."
"Guys, really I've been holding my pee for the past 3 hours can someone please tell me what's going on because my bladder is about to combust." Bobby has his legs crossed in an almost painful angle, leaning over to Junhwe for support.
"Hypothetically a bladder cannot combust you see-"
"Shut the fuck up, Donghyuk. Don't you dare start!" Donghyuk pouts and throws his balled up shirt at Bobby who skillfully darts it.
"Now, Hanbin tell us what's up." Junhwe nudges at the younger boy beside him and Hanbin gestures for Jinhwan to come closer. The older male settles himself next to him, a pretty smile splaying his lips.
"Um, you see. Me and Jinhwan are... Dating." Hanbin wraps an arm around Jinhwan as the both of them blush together as though on cue.
Donghyuk coos lovingly, clapping his hands excitedly.
"Dude that's it?" Yunhyeong face palms, groaning.
"I held my fucking pee for the fucking obvious? Ugh. Bye guys. I really gotta piss." With that, Bobby sprints to the gents. Leaving behind a very shocked Jinhwan and Hanbin.
"What do you mean obvious?" Hanbin cocks his eyebrow up and Jinhwan looks shocked as hell, it's almost funny.
"I thought we kept it subtle."
"Keyword: thought." Yunhyeong air quotes, laughing his ass off.
"I think even the winner hyungs know about it."
"Mino did walk in on you guys kissing in the recording studio." Junhwe has a stoic look on his face and Jinhwan pales.
"Hanbin you said you locked the door!" Hanbin throws his hands up in defense.
The horrified look on Jinhwan's face had the boys bursting into peals of laughter.
"I was only joking but... Ew you guys. Don't go fucking in the studio please I beg. For hygiene's sake." Junhwe pleads and Jinhwan flips him off.
"We'll think about it. Right?"
"Of course baby."
Jinhwan flushes and Donghyuk squeals while Junhwe and yunhyeong made vomiting noises in the background.
Bobby enters the room that instant, looking utterly confused.
Fandom: TEAM B
Pairing: B.I/Jinhwan (Bjin/Binhwan)
Genre: fluff, angst
something i wrote for my friend's bday hehe but yas
"Hyung, please."
"No."
"I didn't mean a word I said. I take it all back-"
"Just leave me alone, Hanbin."
Hanbin swallows his saliva, regret washing over him. He sits on the floor in front of Jinhwan's door, determined to apologize to the older. Hanbin knows he's a total wreck. He's a mess. He can't control himself, he can't manage his stress and he has a bad temper. The members should've known better to not believe anything he says whenever he's fuming mad. He was spitting profanity after profanity, criticism after criticism. He was pissed off and fucking lethargic. All he ever wanted to do was to perform. So, when donghyuk couldn't get his choreography right, he screamed at him on the top of his lungs, face burning, veins protruding. The said boy looked like he was about to cry, lips trembling with fear. Jinhwan defended Donghyuk, which immediately averted Hanbin's attention from donghyuk to jinhwan. That was when Hanbin's mouth had a mind of its own, his lips spewing words full of hate, words full of diss and words that were false. He didn't mean anything he said. He didn't mean to hurt Jinhwan so bad, the older boy ran out of the room sobbing, leaving the other boys glaring holes into his soul. Bobby clucked his tongue in disapproval, saying, "Damn, good luck with that."
"Someone's not gonna sleep well tonight." Junhwe supplies, fixing the cap on his head.
"It's not even his fault, hanbin. What is your problem?" Yunhyeong adds. The other boys sigh, slowly making their way out of the room.
Hanbin has always resembled spurting lava. Seething with passion, teeming with enthusiasm, always determined and ready to give in his all. Always sure. Always ready.
And that always made him seem a little scary.
Jinhwan was like the winter sea. Cold but oddly comforting. His presence, discreet but noticeable. But with every note he sings, his voice soaks into your skin, all warm and soothing. You'll never know what kind of thoughts are in his mind. He'd rather keep his thoughts to himself but if he feels that there's a need to put in his two cents worth, he puts them in. He speaks only when he has to speak and shows only what he has to show.
And maybe that's the reason why Hanbin finds him beautiful.
While Hanbin was black, Jinhwan was white. They contrasted heavily but they fit just like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
"Hyung, please let me in." Hanbin tries again, standing up and knocking on the door rapidly. His knuckles are really going to bleed at this rate.
"Hanbin!"
Hanbin hears a familiar whisper and turns to see Yunhyeong holding a bunch of keys in his hand. The boy passes him the keys and Hanbin mouths a thank you in return. Yunhyeong simply shrugs it off and wishes him good luck.
Now, if only he could find the key to Jinhwan's room. There were at least 12 different keys and Hanbin vaguely reminds himself to label them the next time as he inserts the first key into the key hole. Nope, not this one. He tries the second one and it doesn't fit either. But at the third one, the door opens, not because of the key. But because Jinhwan had opened the door. Hanbin tumbles into Jinhwan's room, the older obviously taken aback as well.
"Yah, what were you trying to do?" Jinhwan mumbles and Hanbin notices his puffy red eyes and the tear streaks on his cheeks.
"Baby, please. Let me explain myself." Hanbin cups the older's beautiful face with his palms, resting his forehead against the top of Jinhwan's head, because Jinhwan was simply too short for him to lean their foreheads together.
"You don't have to. It's just another outburst. You don't mean a thing. I get it. It's okay." Jinhwan murmurs against Hanbin's shirt, and god does hanbin feel guilty.
"Hyung, it's not okay. It was never okay. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry. I love you." Hanbin mutters quietly, pressing his lips on Jinhwan's forehead before pulling back to wipe his tears. Jinhwan sniffles, nodding in reply.
"I forgive you, Hanbin." Jinhwan gives him a small smile but it was all jagged around the edges and Hanbin knows he's not okay. Hanbin knew something else was bothering him.
"Babe, tell me. What's hurting you? It's not only me right?" Hanbin tilts Jinhwan's chin up with his thumb and forefinger, looking at his boyfriend right in the eye and the older shies away from his intent gaze. Jinhwan takes Hanbin's hand, holding it instead, clasping it firmly and entangling their fingers together. Hanbin's heart was ramming against his chest because Jinhwan always made him feel like this. Light-headed, dizzy and all too giddy.
"When you called me... Useless just now." Jinhwan's pauses a bit, his eyes brimming with tears again. Hanbin winces visibly, feeling like a complete douche, cursing himself inwardly. He quickly kisses away a lone tear that escapes from Jinhwan's eyes and a small smile graces the older's lips.
"It reminded me of what my parents used to say about me wanting to become an idol and yeah you know. They still don't want me to do this"
"Fuck hyung, I'm so so so sorry. You know how I get-"
"I know, Hanbin. Trust me, I do. Its not your fault really, usually I won't break like this but yeah that just reminded me of them."
"Hyung, I know you've heard this a lot and all. But I'm just going to say this again okay? You are extremely talented. I've seen you climb your way up from the bottom. I've seen you do your thing. I've seen you do a lot of wonderful things with that voice of yours. With your voice and your dreams, you'll not only change the way your parents think baby. You'll change the world. You'll change their lives. Just like how you've changed all of ours. Just like how you've changed mine." Hanbin pours his heart out, tears prickling his eyes, threatening to fall any minute but Hanbin holds it all in. Well at least until Jinhwan closes the distance between them, balled fists tugging at his shirt. As tears roll down his cheeks, Hanbin licks his lips before leaning in to kiss his boyfriend. The kiss was sweet and somewhat meaningful. Jinhwan felt safe in Hanbin's warm embrace. He felt wanted and most importantly he felt loved.
"Hyung, I love you. I want to fight the biggest and smallest battles with you. I want to be there for you until the very end. And I know I don't treat you like a princess all the time but I just want you to know that... You're always on my mind and in my heart." Hanbin mumbles, thumbing Jinhwan's tears away.
"That was cheesy as fuck, Kim Hanbin." Jinhwan chuckles lightly, punching Hanbin's chest playfully before wiping Hanbin's tears away too. The younger scowls, coaxing another laugh from Jinhwan who can't take him seriously when he's acting cute.
"I love you baby." Hanbin laughs, kissing Jinhwan's cheek playfully. The older grimaces at the nick name, hitting him in the arm.
"Stop calling me that. I'm older than you." Hanbin sticks out his tongue, wrapping his arms around Jinhwan, effectively suffocating him.
"Baby. My baby." Hanbin repeats again, this time swaying their bodies from side to side.
"You cheese ball." Jinhwan's voice was muffled by the material of Hanbin's shirt and the younger reluctantly lets go of him.
"You love me though. Right?" Hanbin playfully pinches Jinhwan's nose and the older swats his arm away, laughing gleefully and Hanbin wishes he could see him smile like this all the time.
"I do. So much."
And Hanbin's grin almost splits his face in half.
Almost.
-
"You tell them."
"No, you do it."
"Jesus, Hanbin just fucking tell them."
"Guys, really I've been holding my pee for the past 3 hours can someone please tell me what's going on because my bladder is about to combust." Bobby has his legs crossed in an almost painful angle, leaning over to Junhwe for support.
"Hypothetically a bladder cannot combust you see-"
"Shut the fuck up, Donghyuk. Don't you dare start!" Donghyuk pouts and throws his balled up shirt at Bobby who skillfully darts it.
"Now, Hanbin tell us what's up." Junhwe nudges at the younger boy beside him and Hanbin gestures for Jinhwan to come closer. The older male settles himself next to him, a pretty smile splaying his lips.
"Um, you see. Me and Jinhwan are... Dating." Hanbin wraps an arm around Jinhwan as the both of them blush together as though on cue.
Donghyuk coos lovingly, clapping his hands excitedly.
"Dude that's it?" Yunhyeong face palms, groaning.
"I held my fucking pee for the fucking obvious? Ugh. Bye guys. I really gotta piss." With that, Bobby sprints to the gents. Leaving behind a very shocked Jinhwan and Hanbin.
"What do you mean obvious?" Hanbin cocks his eyebrow up and Jinhwan looks shocked as hell, it's almost funny.
"I thought we kept it subtle."
"Keyword: thought." Yunhyeong air quotes, laughing his ass off.
"I think even the winner hyungs know about it."
"Mino did walk in on you guys kissing in the recording studio." Junhwe has a stoic look on his face and Jinhwan pales.
"Hanbin you said you locked the door!" Hanbin throws his hands up in defense.
The horrified look on Jinhwan's face had the boys bursting into peals of laughter.
"I was only joking but... Ew you guys. Don't go fucking in the studio please I beg. For hygiene's sake." Junhwe pleads and Jinhwan flips him off.
"We'll think about it. Right?"
"Of course baby."
Jinhwan flushes and Donghyuk squeals while Junhwe and yunhyeong made vomiting noises in the background.
Bobby enters the room that instant, looking utterly confused.