this one time....i was in love.
He was amazing. Everything I wanted. He made me promises saying he would take care of me and always be there. We planned out our entire future together. I could see my future so clearly. He said i was the most beautiful girl he ever saw. He said he loved me.
9 months later...
He left me. I suddenly wasn't worth it anymore. Somebody else was even prettier. He said jaws dropped when they walked into a room. my future plans turned to shit and i was lost. it took a while for me to realize that he didn't keep his promises, he wasn't very nice to me and that i could do better. he said he didn't love me anymore.
I think I'm scarred for life. It's been over 4 months. i have dated a bunch of guys and all ive done is either fucked with their heads, ran away or have been disappointed. A few were really good to me but i always said "im not ready for a relationship", "i just want to be alone", or "we are better as friends". the truth is im scared to death of love and heartbreak. when i fall in love, i plan our future. i think about things that way and i truly feel that its going to happen. i have been avoiding love because of what happened to me.i fucking hate him for what he did to me. i cant seem to get past it. im over him, i dont want him back, but i really did love him so much. i would have done anything for him. and i believed every word he said. later i saw that as a huge mistake that i said i would never make again.
One night I was freaking out, having some kind of mental breakdown. My mom came in my room and tried to calm me down. She said she went ot church and prayed that someone would come to me and sweep me off my feet. to get me past all the pain and heal me. That night, i got a phone call from an old crush that i hadnt talked to in soooooo long. I call him my angel.
Im falling for him. he is one of the guys i dated after my heartbreak...in fact he was the first one. we have so much fun together. we have so much in common and want a lot of the same things. im very attracted to him in every way. he treats me better than anybody has...ever. he is very open about his feelings. we can sit in a room for an entire and never run out of things to say. he is mature, not cocky, and a total sweetheart.
HE ABSOLUTELY ADORES ME.
he had a good effect on me. when my ex came crawling back, i was able to turn him down because even though i wasnt with anybody i knew i could do better. i fucked him over before but now he is back. i just broke up with someone to be alone. but i dont think thats the truth anymore. i think i just keep getting scared. i want him so bad...he is so good to me. but i cant seem to let go of the past.
He is amazing. Everything I want. He makes me promises saying he will take care of me and always be there. We talk about a future together. I can see it clearly. He says I'm the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. And I think he is falling in love with me.
I've forgotten how to love. I don't know how to give away my heart to someone who tells me these things...cuz i've heard it all before and it was all a lie.
I want to be healed. My heart hurts.
here...have some coldplay.
Life is for living
Now I never meant,
To do you wrong,
That’s what I came here to say.
But if I was wrong,
Then I’m sorry,
I don’t let it stand in our way.
As my head just aches,
When I think of,
The things that I shouldn’t have done.
But, life is for living,
We all know,
And I don’t wanna live it alone.
We Never Change
I want to live life, and never be cruel
I wanna live life, and be good to you
And I wanna fly
I'll never come down
And live my life
And have friends around
We never change do we no, no
We never learn do we
So I wanna live, in a wooden house
I wanna live life, and always be true
I wanna live life, and be good to you
And I wanna fly
But never come down
And live my life
And have friends around
We never change do we
We never learn do we
So I wanna live in a wooden house
And making more friends would be easy
Oh, and I don't have a soul to save
Yes and I sin every single day
We never change do we
We never learn do we
So I want to live in a wooden house
Where making more friends would be easy
I wanna live where the sun comes out
9 months later...
He left me. I suddenly wasn't worth it anymore. Somebody else was even prettier. He said jaws dropped when they walked into a room. my future plans turned to shit and i was lost. it took a while for me to realize that he didn't keep his promises, he wasn't very nice to me and that i could do better. he said he didn't love me anymore.
I think I'm scarred for life. It's been over 4 months. i have dated a bunch of guys and all ive done is either fucked with their heads, ran away or have been disappointed. A few were really good to me but i always said "im not ready for a relationship", "i just want to be alone", or "we are better as friends". the truth is im scared to death of love and heartbreak. when i fall in love, i plan our future. i think about things that way and i truly feel that its going to happen. i have been avoiding love because of what happened to me.i fucking hate him for what he did to me. i cant seem to get past it. im over him, i dont want him back, but i really did love him so much. i would have done anything for him. and i believed every word he said. later i saw that as a huge mistake that i said i would never make again.
One night I was freaking out, having some kind of mental breakdown. My mom came in my room and tried to calm me down. She said she went ot church and prayed that someone would come to me and sweep me off my feet. to get me past all the pain and heal me. That night, i got a phone call from an old crush that i hadnt talked to in soooooo long. I call him my angel.
Im falling for him. he is one of the guys i dated after my heartbreak...in fact he was the first one. we have so much fun together. we have so much in common and want a lot of the same things. im very attracted to him in every way. he treats me better than anybody has...ever. he is very open about his feelings. we can sit in a room for an entire and never run out of things to say. he is mature, not cocky, and a total sweetheart.
HE ABSOLUTELY ADORES ME.
he had a good effect on me. when my ex came crawling back, i was able to turn him down because even though i wasnt with anybody i knew i could do better. i fucked him over before but now he is back. i just broke up with someone to be alone. but i dont think thats the truth anymore. i think i just keep getting scared. i want him so bad...he is so good to me. but i cant seem to let go of the past.
He is amazing. Everything I want. He makes me promises saying he will take care of me and always be there. We talk about a future together. I can see it clearly. He says I'm the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. And I think he is falling in love with me.
I've forgotten how to love. I don't know how to give away my heart to someone who tells me these things...cuz i've heard it all before and it was all a lie.
I want to be healed. My heart hurts.
here...have some coldplay.
Life is for living
Now I never meant,
To do you wrong,
That’s what I came here to say.
But if I was wrong,
Then I’m sorry,
I don’t let it stand in our way.
As my head just aches,
When I think of,
The things that I shouldn’t have done.
But, life is for living,
We all know,
And I don’t wanna live it alone.
We Never Change
I want to live life, and never be cruel
I wanna live life, and be good to you
And I wanna fly
I'll never come down
And live my life
And have friends around
We never change do we no, no
We never learn do we
So I wanna live, in a wooden house
I wanna live life, and always be true
I wanna live life, and be good to you
And I wanna fly
But never come down
And live my life
And have friends around
We never change do we
We never learn do we
So I wanna live in a wooden house
And making more friends would be easy
Oh, and I don't have a soul to save
Yes and I sin every single day
We never change do we
We never learn do we
So I want to live in a wooden house
Where making more friends would be easy
I wanna live where the sun comes out