...ouch...
I am so damned tired of being in pain. I'm dithering between my last bit of painkiller or a large dose of nyquil tonight...the painkiller helps, the nyquil doesn't exactly help, it does help make my body so tired that I don't -feel- the leg spasms quite as much as I do without it. Or don't care about them as much, I don't know. Either way, I need to get to a doctor, need to get on something to make this stop. I'm dead sick of less than a couple hours of sleep at a time. I'm sick of laying in bed staring at the ceiling for four to six hours while Shane tries desperately to sleep through my thrashing and whimpering. I like snuggling far too much to sleep away from him, and it'd be damned hard on our marriage anyway.
At this point, I want three things: I want to stop hurting. I want a home of our own. I want a life that I love to be a part of.
Thinking about that, I realize that none of these things are too much to want.
To stop hurting, I need to see a doctor and talk to them about pain management.
To make a home of our own a reality, I need to work on saving money toward that goal. I need to research well, plan well, and see what can be done to build the home we want and to find a location to place it on a semi-permanent to permanent basis.
To live a life that I love to be a part of, I need to accomplish the other goals. However, I can begin to work on it now, by working to accomplish those goals and by doing my best to stay positive as often as I can.
Right now, though? I'm tired, hurting like hell, and considering attempting sleep. It certainly can't hurt, and it'll make me forget about the ants on my desk for the night.
Maybe I can even convince Shane to join me.
At this point, I want three things: I want to stop hurting. I want a home of our own. I want a life that I love to be a part of.
Thinking about that, I realize that none of these things are too much to want.
To stop hurting, I need to see a doctor and talk to them about pain management.
To make a home of our own a reality, I need to work on saving money toward that goal. I need to research well, plan well, and see what can be done to build the home we want and to find a location to place it on a semi-permanent to permanent basis.
To live a life that I love to be a part of, I need to accomplish the other goals. However, I can begin to work on it now, by working to accomplish those goals and by doing my best to stay positive as often as I can.
Right now, though? I'm tired, hurting like hell, and considering attempting sleep. It certainly can't hurt, and it'll make me forget about the ants on my desk for the night.
Maybe I can even convince Shane to join me.