(no subject)
I think the main thing is, I've got to stop 'caring'. It doesn't really matter what other people think. I've got to stop projecting what I think they think on myself.
I woke up feeling better. more stable. More things clicked, but I don't think enough has. I still haven't found the 'key' to close the 'box'. Better, but still sore. Still didn't rest well. I slept for 12 hours, felt like 2 at most. Still had crazy dreams. I've noticed that my mind's activity jumps up to crazy speeds when I start to doze off. I'll start dreaming/thinking up wacky shit before I'm even fully asleep.
The more I think about how I was acting, the more stupid I feel. I want to apologize, but I said I wouldn't say that I'm sorry anymore. And so.. I won't.
This 'better' feeling is probably going to fall to pieces the second I get to work. Too much time to think there. And so the cycle will repeat.
I woke up feeling better. more stable. More things clicked, but I don't think enough has. I still haven't found the 'key' to close the 'box'. Better, but still sore. Still didn't rest well. I slept for 12 hours, felt like 2 at most. Still had crazy dreams. I've noticed that my mind's activity jumps up to crazy speeds when I start to doze off. I'll start dreaming/thinking up wacky shit before I'm even fully asleep.
The more I think about how I was acting, the more stupid I feel. I want to apologize, but I said I wouldn't say that I'm sorry anymore. And so.. I won't.
This 'better' feeling is probably going to fall to pieces the second I get to work. Too much time to think there. And so the cycle will repeat.