(no subject)
So, have you ever experienced a day, full of weird vibes, over a weekend during which most of all you did was sleep and watch internet porn because you felt so incredibly lost in your own life? But finally you get dressed and forego the makeup and all that makes you feel halfway presentable because you think "who am I going to see?" Then out of desperation you make a trip to the bookstore to purchase a highly reccommended self-help book about "procrastination and motivation" and when you realize you've forgotten to eat that day, you stop at a restaurant and request extra raw jalapenos on your less than mediocre plate of enchiladas- partially to cover up the overly-cuminized sauce that drowns your meal, and partially because you're hoping your mouth will burn, and burn, and BURN-so you can delight in pretending it isn't. Then, before returning to your abode that in no way belongs to you, you stop at the most dreaded hell-hole a Sunday afternoon could warrant: Wal-Mart, at which you run into a person you had SO hoped to meet on a more perfect day with a more perfect frame of mind. You listen to youself speak, and you feel ill. You start to sweat, hoping to God and everyone else that no one can tell, but you know that they can, and you almost blurt out, "I ate an assload of jalapenos just about 20 minutes ago, and that's why I'm sweating like a stuck pig." But you don't, you just keep smiling, and chatting, knowing this person may be milling over some of the same things in his head that you are- the things that are making you sweat profusely and laugh nervously and talk about very personal things that should don't really need to discuss upon meeting someone for the first time, and then comes the joke.....about the intelligence...the "inside" joke that you can't admit to being "inside." You're so nervous and intoxicated by the energy that you can barely endure it all, and you can't even begin to make sense of it, because after all, you are pretty intelligent and fairly outgoing and social... you wonder what exactly the fuck is happening to you...and why you're on the verge of a panic attack... is it because you "went there" in your mind and in your dreams and you're now talking to the wifey who is just so very lovely herself...wondering what he's thinking as you keep nervously blathering... yet you keep glancing back to the teeth, the lips...the voice that is oddly familiar after all the years....hoping that neither of them know what kind of deranged circus is taking place in your head?
Ever happened to you?
It happened to me today.
The rest of the weekend...Friday, a suprise stop-by from Chatt-Guy...whom I thought I wasn't going to see any more of. But since he showed and there isn't anyone else, why the hell not, right? I finally just gave in and didn't resist his placement of hands on strategic places on my body. I just kept thinking of this energetic barrier separating us; my white light defending me from his questionable energy.
Last night, Billy took me to a taco stand and to a weird place in the cemetary to prove that the rumored place where your car in neutral will go backwards up a hill is not just a myth. It's true. Freaked me out a little, and I don't get creeped about graveyards.
Been a WEIRD ass weekend all the way around.
Ever happened to you?
It happened to me today.
The rest of the weekend...Friday, a suprise stop-by from Chatt-Guy...whom I thought I wasn't going to see any more of. But since he showed and there isn't anyone else, why the hell not, right? I finally just gave in and didn't resist his placement of hands on strategic places on my body. I just kept thinking of this energetic barrier separating us; my white light defending me from his questionable energy.
Last night, Billy took me to a taco stand and to a weird place in the cemetary to prove that the rumored place where your car in neutral will go backwards up a hill is not just a myth. It's true. Freaked me out a little, and I don't get creeped about graveyards.
Been a WEIRD ass weekend all the way around.