MY OWN PLACE OF SOLACE
i remember back in the days when i was at the ripe age of 15, i use to have to this dodgy website that i decided to call "sor*mui heaven" (sor*mui = crazy). from then on, i spent a lot of time reading different tutorials on different html codes and experimenting with these codes by building various websites and layouts.
to look back in time, ive been a blogger for 6yrs+ and my personal blog has always been my place of solace.
what i write has meaning and i would really appreciate that everyone can understand & respect that this is a way that i deal with matters. i have never been a person who would rely on other's to relieve my anger, sadness or whatnot. i would never call someone up and cry to them about my problems. i guess that's one thing i would like to be able to do ..
it's hard cause i don't want to trouble that person nor do i feel like its necessary bombarding them with whatever problem/matter/issue that's troubling me.
and i know many of you disagree - because that's what friends are for but i just can't make myself do it, because i don't want them to feel sorry for me and stop their world just to hear me out.
another thing is, i'm not a confrontational person and i don't deal with problems well so i tend to just keep it all bottled up inside and when its gets too much, i erupt like a volcano and everything gushes out like no tomorrow.
when the day comes when i can let loose and BE ABLE to call on my friends, i won't need my own personal blog anymore .. :)
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the past week has been a very emotional rollercoaster ride but i gotta say, i've come off and learnt a great deal about myself and those around me - friendships.
the i-net is definately not a a safe place regardless of what you write whether it'd be about your life, emotions, feelings, rants and private thoughts. (scary to think that people read your blog and know of you but you might not neccesarily know them or the fact that people who know you read it, but you don't know they do) but i really wish that people can respect my feelings and actions since this is my personal blog filled with lots of friendships, feelings, opionions and most of all memories on several events of significance in my life ..
throughout this time, i've also realised how dependant i have been on blogging so i'm going to blog only when neccessary; i'm trying to let go of this, once and for all. :)
xox