One Step Forward; Two Steps Back (1/6)
The kiss had been eighteen hours, thirty two minutes and five seconds ago. Jongin had spent the night in M’s dorm to avoid Kyungsoo. But he knows he can’t run forever, so here he is, ears pressed against the door of his own bedroom, listening to the sound of Kyungsoo’s movie playing through the speakers.
Jongin had never felt so apprehensive to enter his own room before - couldn’t remember the last time he was nervous when it came to Kyungsoo. Their relationship is an easy one, forged by close proximity and mutual admiration. Kyungsoo is easy to like with his full eyes, crinkled smiles and skittish nerves; but there's more to the other boy than what was captured with DSLR cameras and displayed through pixelated dots on computer screens. Shy uncertainty and curiosity in those wide orbs whenever Jongin happened to catch his eyes; ragged breaths when Jongin happened to brush against soft skin by accident (or on purpose). And really, hadn’t that been the reason for the kiss? It was the way Kyungsoo had looked at him, quiet and contemplative, eyes that lingered on Jongin’s lips longer than they should have.
It was obvious in the way Kyungsoo would talk to Jongin’s shoes instead whenever they had to interact in close proximity. Most of the time it wasn’t a problem because their group was so large and everyone generally talked over everyone else; their voices overlapped at such a loud volume that they drowned out all of Jongin’s thoughts.
But at night, when it was just him and Kyungsoo, there was a heavy silence between them. These days, instead of focusing on the low murmured conversations, Kyungsoo’s hesitant smiles and slow recallings of what happened throughout the day; Jongin finds himself staring at the older boy’s face as his own mind screamed at him to do something - anything.
So the kiss had really been Kyungsoo’s fault. But Jongin was still the one who had to apologize.
“You okay there?” Baekhyun asks, head poking out of his shared bedroom with Chanyeol.
“Yeah.”
“You sure?” The older male tries again, “You’re sort of glaring holes into your door.”
“I’m fine,” Jongin grits out because the last thing he needs is for Baekhyun to tell Joonmyun, who would no doubt make Jongin spill out his problems at their family meeting for everyone to solve. Jongin doesn’t think this is something that can be resolved through one of Joonmyun’s meetings. Sehun would no doubt laugh at him, which would result in Jongin committing a homicide, which would lead to a raise in Joonmyun’s blood pressure and further delay their comeback.
❣
Slowly, he peeks his head into the room; Kyungsoo squints at him, “Jongin?”
“Hi hyung,” He says slowly, opening the door just enough to slip inside. He takes slow steps toward Kyungsoo’s bed.
“Where have you been?”
“With Luhan hyung.”
Kyungsoo nods, “If you’re hungry, we have some left overs in the fridge.”
“I…think we need to talk.”
But the older boy is already putting his headphones on, “No. We don’t.”
Jongin goes back to his own bed with a heavy sigh. But he doesn’t push it because he doesn’t know what to say anyways.
❣
Joonmyun notices two days later anyways; he pulls Jongin aside to ask if they needed a group meeting.
“Just leave it alone, hyung, I’m working on it,” Jongin sighs, chest still heaving from dance practice.
“Okay but you better make it fast. Fans are starting to think Kaisoo broke up,” Joonmyun’s voice is light and teasing; but Jongin can’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach.
❣
“What’s wrong?” Kris asks one day as they walk to get food with the rest of the members. “I know something is wrong.”
“I made a mistake,” Jongin says, kicking at little pebbles as he walks.
Kris nods but he doesn’t push it.
“Well…if you want to talk,” Kris offers after a lapse of silence.
Jongin grins, “I know. I know I can always talk to you or Suho hyung or Chanyeol or Sehun…blah, blah. I will.”
Kris chuckles, “The benefit of being one of twelve.”
“Nothing’s personal.”
“None whatsoever.”
Short chapterrrrr