Well This Isn't Welcome
Judging by the lack of motivation I have to do anything and the dissatisfaction with myself in general right now...I think I might be a touch depressed.
I'm well aware that what I need to do to shake this is to hunker down and do the things that need to get done, as well as get the hell out of my apartment for awhile. Yesterday morning while I was running errands in the morning I felt great: I was up early, dressed, and out doing stuff. Today I meant to get up early and do things but then just...didn't. The excuse of wanting to wait until my phone battery got low enough to justify charging it is transparent.
One of the things that's really been bothering me of late is how I'm not doing as much. A few months ago my Sagamihara friends were teasing me about how busy I was all the time and how I was too popular, and now I feel like I've been sitting at home doing nothing while other people are out having fun and meeting new friends. I'm well aware that this is an issue of finances, which if I get this head teacher position will be slightly alleviated, and also of my stupid self-loathing. When I think I'm boring or awkward, I act that way.
Really what I need to do is calm the fuck down. If I can't get a job immediately, that's okay. I gotta remember too that things tend to get much better in the fall. Yanagisawa-sensei called me yesterday to ask if I wanted a bento for lunch on the first, and he took the time to chat with me about my trip and say that he was looking forward to talking more this semester. Ino, Korin, Ty, Nate, Ronnie, Kayo, etc. have all expressed a desire to hang out with me too.
I guess not getting to go to camp has really, really bummed me out...even more than I'd thought it would. Thankfully, it's only Evelyn, Ricky, and Chris who went back this year rather than everyone but me, but still...Evelyn and Chris are the two who live closest to me and are the most likely to do things with me, and I don't want to give them up.
Also last summer I got to see KonKon and Yukki, who I haven't spoken to in absolute AGES. I miss them a ton...
Welp, guess I'll just have to suck it up and invite them out! I'll have to work on the things hanging over my head, and savor the feelings of accomplishment at completing them! Yeah!
I'm well aware that what I need to do to shake this is to hunker down and do the things that need to get done, as well as get the hell out of my apartment for awhile. Yesterday morning while I was running errands in the morning I felt great: I was up early, dressed, and out doing stuff. Today I meant to get up early and do things but then just...didn't. The excuse of wanting to wait until my phone battery got low enough to justify charging it is transparent.
One of the things that's really been bothering me of late is how I'm not doing as much. A few months ago my Sagamihara friends were teasing me about how busy I was all the time and how I was too popular, and now I feel like I've been sitting at home doing nothing while other people are out having fun and meeting new friends. I'm well aware that this is an issue of finances, which if I get this head teacher position will be slightly alleviated, and also of my stupid self-loathing. When I think I'm boring or awkward, I act that way.
Really what I need to do is calm the fuck down. If I can't get a job immediately, that's okay. I gotta remember too that things tend to get much better in the fall. Yanagisawa-sensei called me yesterday to ask if I wanted a bento for lunch on the first, and he took the time to chat with me about my trip and say that he was looking forward to talking more this semester. Ino, Korin, Ty, Nate, Ronnie, Kayo, etc. have all expressed a desire to hang out with me too.
I guess not getting to go to camp has really, really bummed me out...even more than I'd thought it would. Thankfully, it's only Evelyn, Ricky, and Chris who went back this year rather than everyone but me, but still...Evelyn and Chris are the two who live closest to me and are the most likely to do things with me, and I don't want to give them up.
Also last summer I got to see KonKon and Yukki, who I haven't spoken to in absolute AGES. I miss them a ton...
Welp, guess I'll just have to suck it up and invite them out! I'll have to work on the things hanging over my head, and savor the feelings of accomplishment at completing them! Yeah!