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Sometimes.....I just can't sleep.
My head and heart is filled with so many different thoughts, so many feelings, so much worry, and excitement, and happiness, and confusion. I just can't seem to find whatever it is I need to go on. It's like, I have the answer right in front of me and I just can't get a good grasp of what it is.
Other than Tara who already knew this......I'm going on a trip soon. Where? I'm not exactly sure, I'm going far away though.....to a place where my feelings can settle and I can find whatever it is that I'm looking for. It's ironic to think I have to travel miles, hundreds maybe, maybe thousands just to find an answer that I know is right in front of me. I just, can't seem to find balance here. I can't seem to find the right answer.
I'm at a very important part of my life. I know my decisions will lead me down completely different ways, to completely different endings.......
But I know what ending I want. All I have to do now is find the right path to get there. When will I be able to accept the current state of my heart? Will I ever be able to just, wake up with everything I dream of waking up to? Am I right that what I believe will make me happy, will actually make me happy? These are important questions that I simply don't know the answer to. And yet, these questions can only be answered by me. I am a man capable of so much and at the same time......all I need is one thing.
I originally wrote everything I know currently on how I feel but, I decided not to......so I deleted it.....I don't think I'm ready to explain everything. perhaps the long drives and uncertain future will lead me to the right place. I'm a strong, confident, inelligent, sweet boy, with a big heart. I'm just looking for some kind of sign, some kind of hope, something to make me believe that what I believe in is real. The answer is out there somewhere, and I intend on finding that answer.
Please, someone, somewhere, somehow
Send signs.
My head and heart is filled with so many different thoughts, so many feelings, so much worry, and excitement, and happiness, and confusion. I just can't seem to find whatever it is I need to go on. It's like, I have the answer right in front of me and I just can't get a good grasp of what it is.
Other than Tara who already knew this......I'm going on a trip soon. Where? I'm not exactly sure, I'm going far away though.....to a place where my feelings can settle and I can find whatever it is that I'm looking for. It's ironic to think I have to travel miles, hundreds maybe, maybe thousands just to find an answer that I know is right in front of me. I just, can't seem to find balance here. I can't seem to find the right answer.
I'm at a very important part of my life. I know my decisions will lead me down completely different ways, to completely different endings.......
But I know what ending I want. All I have to do now is find the right path to get there. When will I be able to accept the current state of my heart? Will I ever be able to just, wake up with everything I dream of waking up to? Am I right that what I believe will make me happy, will actually make me happy? These are important questions that I simply don't know the answer to. And yet, these questions can only be answered by me. I am a man capable of so much and at the same time......all I need is one thing.
I originally wrote everything I know currently on how I feel but, I decided not to......so I deleted it.....I don't think I'm ready to explain everything. perhaps the long drives and uncertain future will lead me to the right place. I'm a strong, confident, inelligent, sweet boy, with a big heart. I'm just looking for some kind of sign, some kind of hope, something to make me believe that what I believe in is real. The answer is out there somewhere, and I intend on finding that answer.
Please, someone, somewhere, somehow
Send signs.