(no subject)
So I basically just hate my life and I'm tired of everything. I really don't want to be living most of the time and it sucks. I've been so depressed lately and I don't even know why. But I really do hate it, I always feel like shit but act like I don't when I'm around people just so they won't ask me 25 million questions. And I'm just tired of it. I don't want to feel alone all of the time even when I have Jimmy or Randi with me I always feel alone, and I don't even know why. I think I've cried more in the last two weeks than I have in my entire life and I don't know when it will stop but I just wish it would. I just want all of it to be over so I can be happy again, I don't think I've been completely happy in a very long time and that sucks. To be honest I think about cutting all the time but I made a promise that I would stop. I feel like everyone hates me...all of the time, no matter what I just always feel like that. I feel like my own friends don't really like me as much as they say they do. I feel like I'm not appreciated the way I should be for the things I do. I feel like shit. I feel like things will never be like they were before any drama happened. I feel like the one I love doesn't feel as much in love as he used to. It sucks to say that and I don't like feeling that way, but sometimes to me it really does seem like that. Sometimes I just feel used, well not really a lot of the time I do. It sucks, you know, when someone asks for your input but doesn't listen to a damn thing you say. I just feel completely by myself. I just really hate feeling this alone...