(no subject)
I finally have a moment to update. The trouble is I don't really know what to say anymore. Writing is like a chore more than something I enjoy.
I'm forcing out the occasional poem just to keep my feet wet, but in all honesty, in the last four months with many major life changes, I'm rather prostrate creatively, and as for daily confessions about life events, well, that's a chore, also.
Admittedly, though, I've been much happier for the last three months and perhaps that's the justification for being unmoved by events. Most people feel more spitfire and loud when they're enduring something crappy. It's just life.
I'm approaching my anniversary of recovery here soon. I'm doing alright in therapy, although, admittedly, I'm not sure I'll ever stop going for the simple fact it'd pose another relapse.
I had relapsed in November. I wasn't really thrilled about it, but between my support system and good friends and all that jazz, I'm not really ashamed. I cannot change what has been, only what I am to become.
The thing is when I look upon being elated about life, it wasn't really as difficult as I thought. You make much of what your life is; the way in which we as people react to the environments we're surrounded by. Things, inevitably, will go wrong and there are setbacks, but everyone is wounded at some point. Being wounded is NOT a permanent state of living.
I've been working a lot, and really just focusing on that. While I feel the desire to be ambitious, and I know I will at some point, well, for now, I'm just enjoying what I have, and there isn't a thing in the world wrong with that.
I'm forcing out the occasional poem just to keep my feet wet, but in all honesty, in the last four months with many major life changes, I'm rather prostrate creatively, and as for daily confessions about life events, well, that's a chore, also.
Admittedly, though, I've been much happier for the last three months and perhaps that's the justification for being unmoved by events. Most people feel more spitfire and loud when they're enduring something crappy. It's just life.
I'm approaching my anniversary of recovery here soon. I'm doing alright in therapy, although, admittedly, I'm not sure I'll ever stop going for the simple fact it'd pose another relapse.
I had relapsed in November. I wasn't really thrilled about it, but between my support system and good friends and all that jazz, I'm not really ashamed. I cannot change what has been, only what I am to become.
The thing is when I look upon being elated about life, it wasn't really as difficult as I thought. You make much of what your life is; the way in which we as people react to the environments we're surrounded by. Things, inevitably, will go wrong and there are setbacks, but everyone is wounded at some point. Being wounded is NOT a permanent state of living.
I've been working a lot, and really just focusing on that. While I feel the desire to be ambitious, and I know I will at some point, well, for now, I'm just enjoying what I have, and there isn't a thing in the world wrong with that.